Nosferatu

Joined

• started 598 topics
• posted 6,825 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Nosferatu

• 
  7

  Journal of a JW - Part 1 of 5

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  dear journel, .

  this is my first official entry into this thing.

  i tried once before but it didn't work.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nosferatu

  Jan.11/93
  
  Dear Journel,
  
  This is my first official entry into this thing. I tried once before but it didn't work. My day today was the pits. I tried to help others but only one appreciated it , one accused me of stealing, others gave me problems concerning my wadding This end up getting me angery, which I promised myself I wouldn't. All in all it was quite a mixed day. I realize my temper is going to get my into real trouble on of these days but those people realy got to me in the end. I have alot of work to do my temper before I'm throught.
  
  On to more emberrising things. On Sunday I talked to Br. Code about my lack of comments at the meetings. He said that he was glad I came to him ,after he gave my some suggestions for me start off with then concluded by telling me he would talk to the brother in charge of the Watchtower meeing. I'm glad I finaly did it so I can get the help I need so desperatly. I'm doing all this because I'm determinded not to go back to Lansdowne territory,which I have been concidering doing lately. How knows I might yet but not for the moment.
  
  
  
  
  
  Dear Journel,
  
  There are times when I feel that I have things all rapped up at work and then there are days like the way they have been the past month that realy make you wonder. Every day I go to work wondering if they are going to fire me that day. The fear is always there, to go to work and stay home and worry, constantly worrying. I go to work ,try to do the best I can only to have a machine that doesn't work and get blamed for it breaking, then you get it working, only to have it break on you again. The boss , neding the important order in a hurry, finds it still on the machine that you claimed you fixed. This is after he voluntered to try to fix it and now wont touch it. A very trying situation at best.There are many things I want to type in here after I put it all away, the desperation, the fear, the strain of trying to be brave, the need to put what I'm feeling in a reasonable mannor, then forgetting it all befor I come here. Tonight I commented on my own for the first time in months. It was a simple on but I made it non the less,and I'm glad of it. Going to Jah. is getting easer every night and He's answering them. I feel one world, that I have been available to me, just opening up to me, I have been studing more than I have in a year. For how long I don't know but at least it's start. I feel good for what I have done so far.
  
  
  
  
  
  Dear Journel,
  
  Where do I begin. The day was the pits to say the least, that is till I got to the Hicks's then everything changed. The dday didn't seem to matter all the problems, strife, the worry and insecurity that I encountered. The childeren were glad to see me as well as the parents, my day seems all right even thought My day was anything but. Mr.H. is determined to find a reason to fire me but can't find a good enough reason, but we both know he will eventually find one, it's just a matter of time, only time. I hate to go into work, it's is a chore, I hate always being on edge, afraid of every thing I might do to be wrong when I might not be at all. I realize that a anew job is inevedable but not something I want to do. With a firing on my resume there will beeeeee no chance of getting another job,Mr.H. knows that, espcially in the light on the economic situation, and he knows that too. I realy thing that is why he is doing it. To aviod that fact is to say that he want me there,he doesn't and he will not stop untill I'm gone,that isn't going to change, no matter what anyone thinks, nothing I will every do will change that. Sorry to leave on that sour note but that is the way it is. Till tomarrow, good night.
  
  
  
  
  
  Dear Journel,
  
  This day is no different then any other day, I worry about my job. I am always in fear of going into work and getting fired. The things I have done or said to Bill or things I have forgotten to do or say, constantly going over the days events, again and again and again till I go back to work only to make the same mistakes all over again. The weekends are the worst, this is because oftwo day period of waiting and thinging and wondering what awaited me on Monday morning, and the worring continues till then. People don't understand this, for last of a better word, obsetion. Also, Monday holds onther problems for me. I go to see the doctor. You see on Wedensday, when talking to Betty we got on the topic on shrinks, which I then confided to her that I was thinking about asking the doctor if she could recomend on that didn't cost much. I am very scared but Betty thinks it would be a good idea. Now, on Monday, I will be asking about it, I'm scared. So with double worries no one to talk to, or who wants to listen to me about it. People thinks it's easy to keep this job, but when you are under the type of pressure I'm under but when you have a boss always lookin over your shoulders and you know that are looking for you to make a mistakes on a machine that doesn't want to work , it's easy to make the mistakes the boss is looking for to fire me. I feel better now so I will go now but I will be back tomarrow. Good Night.
• 
  4

  Journal of a JW - Introduction

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it's quite rare (or even non-existant) that we get to read the feelings and experiences of a faithful jw who is still in, and has not been influenced by apostate literature.

  however, i have in my posession a journal written by a jw; a single woman in her 20s named kim.

  i came into posession of her journal back in the mid-90s when i was still in myself.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nosferatu

  It's quite rare (or even non-existant) that we get to read the feelings and experiences of a faithful JW who is still in, and has not been influenced by apostate literature.
  
  However, I have in my posession a journal written by a JW; a single woman in her 20s named Kim. I came into posession of her journal back in the mid-90s when I was still in myself. She had given me her Commodore 64 along with a bunch of floppies, one containing her Journal.
  
  I recently uncovered the dust from this item, and decided to give it a read. After reading it, I thought it may be beneficial for those who are still JWs to read her journal. It provides a look inside the mind of another JW, and lets us see what they won't reveal to another common JW, or even the Elders.
  
  Kim's spelling is anything but good, but her concerns and her feelings are very real.
  
  I am also posting Kim's Journal on my blog, where I describe a bit of the technical side of getting the data onto the PC. I may possibly post some extra stuff there too, most likely audio recordings (when I get the time to go through my old cassettes).
  
  Here is my blog address: http://classicalgasemissions.blogspot.com
  
  But on JWD I will be posting Kim's journal 4 entries at a time for a total of 5 posts. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
• 
  45

  U 2 - What Are Your Favorite Songs and Albums from Them ?

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well, this is one of 2 groups i will post tonight .

  i'll post my other favorite current group later as i have to go to dinner.

  but u 2 is one of my favorite current active groups performing still.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nosferatu

  Angel of Harlem is pretty much the only song I really like from them. The rest are kind of mediocre. I'm sick of hearing The Joshua Tree.
  
  BTW, that album WAS released on 8-track:
  
  http://eil.com/shop/moreinfo.asp?catalogid=264671
• 
  18

  so..

  by Vivamus in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  my psychiatrist told me therapy was not going to cure my headaches (yah).

  my home-doctor (i don't know if thats the system you have too, but here we have one general doctor who gives his patient referrals to see specialists), does not believe any referral to any medical specialist will help me.

  that's cuz i have tried so much already, and any referral will give me hope that there might be a cure - which in his opninion is not possible.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nosferatu

  I'm guessing you've already gone down the path of a change in diet, prescriptions, or even aspartame in causing your headaches.
  
  I wish you luck in your search for a cure.
• 
  51

  Favorite dopey, cheesy metal bands, songs...

  by avishai in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  manowar... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjhnwao6dn8.

  musically, there pretty good, and eric adams can sing... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scljmnrmlnq.

  but lyrically, god, they're dumber than spinal tap!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nosferatu

  It can't get worse than this:
  
  Gwar - The Road Behind
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQfpOCQxP2w
• 
  15

  Reunions.....the aftermath

  by RAYZORBLADE in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  it's hard to believe, i joined this forum five years ago (january 2003).. i was happy to join here because it appeared at the time, to be a rather sane and welcoming place.

  i really enjoyed it.

  like any forum; i've been on others not related to jehovah's witnesses, and you see parallels.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nosferatu

  Hi Ray, nice to see you still popping in time after time :)
  
  I only got in contact with one person I went to the KH with, and that's only because I heard he was no longer there. We met up, had a drink, and that was pretty much it. The end.
  
  Other than him, I have no desire to locate anybody from the KH I used to attend. None of them really gave a damn about me anyway.
• 
  27

  Anyone attending the Memorial this year?

  by sooner7nc in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife is probably expecting me to go, and i'm not looking forward to the confrontation.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nosferatu

  Nope, I'll be celebrating my 11th year of not going :)
• 
  15

  Adams wife before Eve

  by LouBelle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was watching something rather interesting on the history channel last night with regards to lost scrolls, scrolls that hadn't been included in the bible.

  there were three characters that stood out for me.. lillith - she is only mentioned once in scripture - isaiah 34: 14 - some versions may be different.

  wildcats shall meet with hyenas, goat-demons shall call to each other; there too lilith shall repose, and find a place to rest.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nosferatu

  Last time the JWs came to our door, my wife was telling them about Lillith. They were really confused.
• 
  4

  What Does it Take...

  by WTWizard in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what is the worst weather that failed to get the boasting session cancelled?

  does it take several feet of snow, a major ice storm, blackouts, temperatures about or below -50, 80 mph winds, or floods to get the damn thing cancelled?

  or, perhaps they saw these and decided that there is no way in hell that they are going to cancel the boasting session.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nosferatu

  Ours got cancelled occasionally when there was too much snowfall.
• 
  13

  Paradise Earth????

  by potentialJWconvertswife in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i know there has been a previous thread on this topic, but in spite of backing up through many many past topics i couldn't find it...can anyone explain this to me, please?

  i mean, obviously the promise is that after being denied entry into heaven because they aren't one of the 144,000 the great crowd is stuck on earth, but it's somehow re-made into paradise?!

  is there any scriptural support for this notion outside of the nwt?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nosferatu

  The belief is that It's the job of the JWs to restore the planet back to a Paradise on Erf. Jehovah, with all his great power, is too goddam lazy to do it himself.
  
  Sorry, I don't have a scripture. After 12 years, you tend to forget those things.