LOL TraumaHound! Here in Texas we shoot first and don't waste our time with questions later! LOL Maybe some of these jerk-off elders are lurking outside windows to learn a thing or two of what they're missin! LOL Or, maybe they're just out there...jerkin off! Doh!!!
Posts by Lin
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24Elders Spying on JWs
by Yizuman ini hear crazy stories about elders spying on the congregational members.
i even hear of stake outs on member's homes.. anybody have any stories about elders doing crazy stuff that you have seen them do or even heard about from others?
meaning elders trying to catch members being in the wrong?.
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150
Financial Help.
by Yizuman inhit my posting limit and am using my second account..... i don't know if anyone can help or not.. but i am in a desprate situation whereas i have to swallow my pride and seek out some help.. i am behind rent as well as my morgage ( i own a moble home on a lot rent).. need food as well.. phone needs to stay in service since i am deaf and need it as part my text communication for hopes of landing a better job.
sister can email me to let me know if a employer calls, so i can drive over and find out what's up from there.. i work at wal-mart and alot of us have our hours cut to 20+ hrs a week, so this is hurting me fianacially.. job hunts is hard since i am deaf since most employers seems to prefer hiring a hearing person.. i know of a deaf friend who is unemployed and he went thru 20 job interviews in a month.
none of them ever called or emailed him to say he got a job.. family can't help since they all have their own problems to deal with.. i can post all the info you need if anyone needs it, such as my landlord's address and my morgage address if anyone wants to mail a check directly to them.
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Lin
Some of you posted what was running through my mind while reading through all of this. Someone joins the forum and a very short time later starts requesting financial help? Sounds extremely fishy to me. Yizuman, you mentioned my niece Jesika, as far as "knowing" you. How well do you really think any of us can really *know* someone through a web site? Anyone, including me, could work up a real sad story that could bring the reader to tears and cause people to *hear* violins playing in the background. It's impossible to really *know* someone through a web site, so do be careful when you bring up my niece. You may have told her what you'd like her to know or believe, but it doesn't make it true. I find this sort of thing to be pathetic. What your true circumstances are I don't know, but I wouldn't dream of coming on a forum and within days start hitting people up for money. Actually, I'd NEVER do that, regardless of how bad my situation was. I certainly wouldn't be sitting at a computer making chit-chat with virtual strangers, I'd be pounding the pavement, making phone calls to find out where help is available. Asking people on this site for money? Disgusting!
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I don't get it!
by Lin ini've been hearing a big uproar in the media about schools banning harry potter books, and parents who refuse to let their kids read it, etc.
what's the big deal?!
when i was growing up, we had bewitched, i dream of jeannie, casper, etc.
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Lin
I've been hearing a big uproar in the media about schools banning Harry Potter books, and parents who refuse to let their kids read it, etc. What's the big deal?! When I was growing up, we had Bewitched, I Dream Of Jeannie, Casper, etc. So, what's the problem here? I have read a couple of the Harry Potter books, and I thought they were quite well done and very entertaining! People are freaking out about witchcraft, demons, voodoo etc with these books. People I have a news flash......it's called FICTION!!!!
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Elders Spying on JWs
by Yizuman ini hear crazy stories about elders spying on the congregational members.
i even hear of stake outs on member's homes.. anybody have any stories about elders doing crazy stuff that you have seen them do or even heard about from others?
meaning elders trying to catch members being in the wrong?.
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Lin
Yeah, I've heard lots of stories like that too. Elders lurking outside couples bedroom window trying to catch them having oral sex, Elders doing "stake-outs" from down the street trying to catch people in affairs etc. I even heard a story a long time ago about some elders that followed a guy for a couple of days believing the guy must be sleeping with some girl he was seen with, and they weren't married etc; The elders confronted the guy about it and learned that it was the guy's cousin from overseas visiting. Those idiot elders didn't have anything on the guy, no hand holding, no kissing, no nothing; he was simply seen with a lady and was seen sort of putting his arm around her while she walked in a restaurant while he held the door open for her. Oh man! What a sin that was! Doh!!!!
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Still on the job hunt, but........................
by Jesika ini have two job interviews tomorrow.
wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
btw, i have been going with the conservative look when i go on a job interview.
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Lin
Hey kiddo, I guess it depends on the nature of the job! LOL I would say stick with conservative. Of course, it worked for Erin Brocovich didn't it? I don't know! Anyway, good luck!
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New User to this Forum and questions
by Yizuman inhello everyone..... just registered and want to know what type of folks here are?
are there are jws still in the so called "truth" lurking or posting here?.
are there any "born again" believers here who used to be a jw?.
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Lin
Yizuman, this is from Jesika, since she's gone over her posting limit for the day. Glad to help! What's a good auntie for anyway? LOL
Dateline Transcript:
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7
Ex-JW looking for help with difficult ex-spouse
by MsJam ini am an ex jw with two children that i share custody with their father (still a witness) we have become very involved with our church (my new husband and i) the problems we are having deal with birthdays,and all the ususal non-witness activites where my children are concerned.
we do celebrate all birthdays and holidays.
my 7 year old has been spanked and threatened by her father for the mear mention of any of these things.. their father had increasingly become emmotionally distant from them.
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Lin
MsJam, I can definitely relate. I have six children with my ex husband, and when I divorced him in '93, he didn't call them or see them for over two years. He didn't pay child support either, because he was angry at me for divorcing him and moving the kids to another state. The kids were in so much pain, it tore my heart apart. When my ex actually schedule a half-way meeting point where I'd drop the kids off with him for a visitation period, a couple times he didn't show up. He lives in Chicago and I live in Texas, so half way was Missouri, so the drive back home with kids crying because their dad didn't pick them up was torturing. I just kept trying to reassure them that their dad loves them very much, and is angry that he can't be with them every day and is having trouble separating the anger from the love he feels for them.
Continue to be there for your kids, reassuring them, letting them know they are loved, as you said.
Also.....document everything. I cannot emphasize that enough, but I kept records of everything, including toll tag receipts when I'd take the kids to Missouri. I kept his hatefilled letters, all the correspondence about visitations, every little piece of documentation you need to hang onto. Get yourself a wide 3-ring binder, and I mean WIDE, 'cause you'll need it. Everything I kept came in very handy when my ex tried to have my kids taken away from me on false charges. I had all the documentation/proof that I needed to prove the charges were false, and the judge had a field day with him. I didn't even have a lawyer, since I was providing for six children all on my own income, I couldn't afford a lawyer, and I had to drive to Chicago for the court dates. I was prepared and ready. He went through three different lawyers on each of the three occasions, with each of his lawyers telling him in front of me not to ever call their office again, and one of them even added the point that my ex really screwed up by messing with me in this way.
Document every little thing. You never know what your ex may attempt, neither did I. But, I was ready and you should be too.
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Spousal Abuse Thoughts
by DakotaRed ini have been having an ongoing discussion with a friend about spousal abuse.
she has come to accept and believe that i have never hit a woman in my life, but feels that i am a rarity.
i contend that i am not, that although too many men still hit their wives, they are in the minority.
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Lin
Whether or not woman who have been abused by their spouses CHOOSE to stay or not, is a technicality that I don't wish to put on myself, having been abused throughout my previous 15 year marriage. Being slammed against walls, punched in the stomach while five months pregnant with my first child, being pulled by my hair from room to room, kicked, slapped, punched, called horrible names, zero access to the money, woke up many times in the middle of the night with him pulling my pj bottoms off cause he "wanted some" and being entered forcefully, etc. I could go on and on, but I won't.
When these things would occur, and I'd call my Presiding Overseer Father, his immediate response to all of it was, "What did you do to deserve it?!"
When I'd tell my mother about it, she'd run and tell my brothers. No one came over, no one called to ask me if I needed them to come over and help me get away from him. My brothers didn't come over and beat the shit out of him. No one did anything to help me. Oh sure.....the elders came over and counselled him, telling him if he didn't stop treating me this way that he'd be disfellowshipped. Yawn............the elders got to leave, they didn't stay to "face the music" afterwards. My husband would sit there stone faced, with his arms crossed over his chest, and look straight ahead, but not at them or me and wasn't even listening. Fifteen years.............of this.
I left my husband three separate times, and each time my father would track me down. He'd show up and without ever asking me a word of what happened, and why I had left, his first and only words to me were, "Get your butt home where you belong".
The third time I left my husband, I made it extremely difficult for anyone to find me, but my father still managed. He showed up, began to open his mouth to tell me once again to get my butt home yadda yadda, but I stopped him dead in his tracks and told him, "Don't even say it. Don't tell me to get my butt home where I supposedly belong. Don't tell me what to do when you haven't spent two minutes with me finding out why your daughter has left her husband. Don't ask me about the bruises. Don't ask me why I have a tear-stained face. Don't offer to help me in any way. YOU get YOUR butt home where YOU belong!" I then slammed the door in his face and he left in tears.
When you have your own P.O. father telling you to go home, the elders not telling you that you have the choice to leave, no one calling and coming to help you, you DON'T KNOW YOU CAN LEAVE!!!!!! When all you get is "Jehovah hates a divorcing", and no where to turn, and no one to turn to, no job, no real skills since you didn't get to go to college, you find yourself with very limited resources to help yourself. Stay? Of course you stay, especially when you're a jw.
I thoroughly enjoyed the day when I handed my husband my divorce papers. He came at me to hit me, and I fought back and I got him good. It felt great. He cried when I told him I was divorcing him and to get the hell out. He got down on his knees and begged me to forgive him, telling me he'd never do it again. I can't count anymore the number of times he's said that to me over the years. His tears meant nothing, his words meant nothing. I was numb to it all.
I am now happier than I have ever been in all my life. I'm getting married on January 25th to the most wonderful, kind, gentle, loving man I've ever known. When we are pronounced man and wife, I will surprise him by singing the song by Barbara Streisand called, "I've dreamed of you". The words to this song are 100% perfect for me to sing to my new husband, and everyone will probably cry because as I sing the words, they will all know exactly what I am saying. It will be a beautiful day.
Edited by - Lin on 29 November 2002 9:27:32
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Spousal Abuse Thoughts
by DakotaRed ini have been having an ongoing discussion with a friend about spousal abuse.
she has come to accept and believe that i have never hit a woman in my life, but feels that i am a rarity.
i contend that i am not, that although too many men still hit their wives, they are in the minority.
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Lin
As a woman who went through this personally for fifteen years married to an abusive jw, this really "hits" close to home. I never, before during or after my divorce from him, did I ever have the thought that all or most men were like my ex. I always knew there are many gentle, loving men out there who wouldn't dream of hitting their wife. I am fortunate to have found one such man that I will soon marry. However, abuse is something that I feel is more prevalent then most would think. So many woman hide it out of shame or guilt or whatever, and even their relatives aren't aware, but it's a big problem. Even those who don't actually hit their wives, do just as much damage with their words and tone. It's hard to figure out if one is worse than the other, they are both very painful to experience.
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Question about reproof
by Sirona injehovahs witnesses over on another board are telling me that elders can reprove someone (who sinned and is repentant) privately and that that person does not lose their priveledges.
has anyone here been reproved and kept all their congregation duties?
if so, what does "reproof" actually mean?.
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Lin
Fulano, I've personally been involved and have witnesses two-elder judicial hearings, that's why I said "usually three elders".