Spousal Abuse Thoughts

by DakotaRed 36 Replies latest jw friends

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  DakotaRed

  I have been having an ongoing discussion with a friend about spousal abuse. She has come to accept and believe that I have never hit a woman in my life, but feels that I am a rarity. I contend that I am not, that although too many men still hit their wives, they are in the minority. I would ask your opinions of this and like to hear from others that have never hit a woman or women who have never been hit too.

  Additionally, in the discussion, it has been asserted that a wife must please her husband in order to be happy herself. I also say that is a bunch of crap and that both should be making efforts to please each other. To me, a good wife is her husbands equal, not a demure little slave to do his every bidding and if he demands such, while ignoring her wants and needs, he is an abusive jerk.

  Please post your thoughts along these lines too.

  Lew W
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  kelsey007

  Though I was once married to a woman that hit and threw things in fits of anger I could never hit a woman. I agree that that behavior- men hitting women- does happen I feel that it is not as prevelant as it once was. Society has developed to a point that women stand up and no longer silently tolerate such behavior- They are no longer so dependant on thier man and are much more apt to pack their bags and leave... IMHO
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  freedom96

  I would like to think that most men do not hit their spouses, though I think verbal abuse is more prevalent than we would like to think.

  I have never hit a woman, nor will I ever. However, I have been hit, scratched, etc by my ex.
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  Liberty

  I too have never hit a woman in my life. I love my mother dearly and generally equate my close female friends and lover with this feeling. The thought of striking my mother sickens me and therefore the thought of striking females in general is very repulsive. I don't generally want to hit men either but have in self defense. I'm a big guy so there are very few women who could credably represent a real threat to the point where I would consider hitting them even in a fight. I don't undrstand beating women unless they represent a real danger to life and limb and you don't have the option of walking away. I would agree that radical feminists probably over estimate the percentage of men who would really beat a defensless woman. Most men I know won't hit girls but that doesn't mean there are not some real sickos out there ruining it for the rest of us.
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  Mulan

  Mine has never hit me, but I think he has been tempted. (kidding............I can make him madder than just about anyone, I think)

  I tried to pour a big bowl of water on him once, when I was really mad at him. He put his arm up to block the bowl, and it dumped back onto me. We stood there hysterically laughing, as I dripped all over the kitchen. I was drenched. It should have been him though.
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  Buster

  Never. And any woman that accepts it, either outright or by excusing it as an anomaly, is doing a disservice - to herself, her children, to other women, and to her husband.
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  caligirl

  I have never been hit. I also do not necessarily beleive that most men hit. I think that it happens far more than it should, but I do not think that the majority of men hit. I also think that women who are abusive to their husbands does not get enough attention. Women can be the abusers too, and what about the men who don't hit back? I do not understand why it is considered abuse when a man hits a woman but is not considered abuse when a woman hits or injures a man. But if the man hits back, he would be the one to be considered the abuser. It makes no sense to me.

  I think that in a good relationship, both should want to do what they can to make the other happy. It is not a one way street.
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  Mulan

  I do know of many women, in abusive marriages, whose husbands never lay a hand on them. There are many kinds of abuse. Some men are controlling, verbally and emotionally abusive, miserable human beings.
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  LuckyLucy

  The majority of men do not hit women.

  I knew a woman that gave herself a black eye and told the cops her hubby did it ....he went to jail.

  If a woman hits a man and leaves a mark she goes to jail also...so yes it is abuse when a woman hits a man.

  When either sex hits ...they are insecure and controlling....not to mention childish.
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  BeautifulGarbage

  I am a product of an abusive, disastrous marriage. I never actually saw my Dad hit my Mom, but I did see him knock her over when she was 8 months pregnant and listen to him berate her. He also grabbed her by her earrings, which were pierced. She let the holes heal up after that. When I was a little girl, I vowed I would never marry a man like my Dad. And I didn't. However, I did warn my husband in the beginning: "You ever hit me, you had better KILL me, because if you don't, I WILL beat YOU within an inch of YOUR life". And I meant every word of it.

  Harsh?

  Absolutely.

  However! Many of these women CHOOSE to stay. Yes, I know the statistics, etc. Still, women want all the perks of equality, yet aren't willing to be responsible for their own behavior. For instance, making children with abusive men, then lamenting that they stay because of the kids.

  Andee