Hey notsurewheretogo,
I was an elder for nearly 25 years always sort of KNOWING that the religion that my mother chose for us was not the troof. Being raised in the religion, I just became absorbed in it through osmosis!
My wife was unfaithful to me on several occasions during our 45 years of marriage (still married to her). As I look back now, I don't really blame her for looking for some excitement and/or escape from the drudgery of being a JW elder's wife. Our life was all work for the borg and very little fun with our family. The troof was more important to me that my marriage/wife and I gave "it" a lot more time and attention.
When I finally, 100 percent realized and fully accepted TTATT, I decided to have a little "fun" myself. I had an affair with a fellow employee for several years, smoked cigars, gambled a bit, used bad language, watched "R" rated movies all while serving as an elder. Our congregation, at least according to our CO and other elders, absolutely flourished. LOL! I was a very popular and influencial elder in our congregation and circuit. Since I confessed (on my own), got removed (not df'ed) the congregation has gone down hill somewhat from a statistical viewpoint. WHAT!
So much for holy spirit exposing wrongdoing in the congregation. Sadly, I really went stupidly wild in my rebellion against the repression that I had volunteered for. (To my credit though, I never wore "tight pants".) Been out and inactive for over 4 years now. Still not df'ed just quietly fading into the the woodwork. I'm content with my life and even though my wife (she forgave me for my temporary insanity) is still in, she sees a much happier,more caring person who has time for his family and friends. I'm now a man living life (happily married for 48 years) without the restraints of the WTBTS.
just saying
eyeuse2badub