I hope you seriously think about it, and not go back because you feel pressured. My mother is still a JW. I never have been. Years ago I did look into this org to see if it was the truth. I can honestly say it scared me to death to think that maybe it was. I didn't want to be a JW. I don't believe it is the truth. What helped me to sort it out was checking out the NWT against the NIV and KJV. This org has changed the bible to suit their own doctrine. What also helped me was the Strong's Concordance. For a few years I had a problem with believing in Jesus. Did I believe in Him because I was told I should? I do believe that if we sincerely want the truth it will be revealed to us; individually- what we personally need to know. I also feel that your gut tells you when to beware of something that isn't right. I mentioned in another post about a book by William Schnell (30 years a Watchtower Slave) and he stated that in the beginning already he had this nagging feeling that it wasn't the truth and he ignored it. I hope that you do what is really right for you, not because you feel you must.
Hi Puternut, I don't have too much to add to what everyone else said. I haven't read most of the replies yet, only the first page, but will later on. I understand just a little of what you are going through. It grieves me so much when I read posts like these. Will my mother ever see the truth of this organization? I really doubt that she ever will, but I have to hope. After my dad passed away (just the family, no witnesses) we had our own little service for my dad and my mother said that it was the first time that she felt the presence of God, that He was leading us. To me that says a lot about this org. Like others have said, you're running around doing things that you don't quietly just be and maybe allow the presence of God in your life. I was never a witness, but I do understand the feeling of betrayel. I know it wasn't intentional but I never knew some of the things my church (Christian Reformed) believed. It was never mentioned and when I heard about it through another church (Reformed Church of America) I was stunned. Like someone else said, it hit me like a ton of bricks. They were my family. I thought they believed the same things that I did. When I found out I couldn't go back to the services. I am now going to a different denomination. I asked to speak to an elder to see what this church believed in because I didn't want to waste more of my life. I admit that I have a need to belong to a congregation and thankfully I haven't lost my belief in God. I guess I'm lucky that my belief system hadn't changed. I just realized that the church I belonged to didn't have some of the same beliefs I did. The shock is pretty well over but I am going through a depression, but in time I know I will get through it. I know you will in time get through this. So many of us feel that we have wasted our lives. You don't have to have been a witness to feel that. But you did finally see it. How many never see it.
I haven't seen this book mentioned yet: 30 years a Watchtower Slave by William J Schnell. It was written around 1956. He was in the org from the 20's to the 50's. He helped set up the system. In his foreword he wrote: I have no rancor against my former brethren-I have no axe to grind-in writing this story. I have only one major task to perform, and that is...I have a vow to fufill, which I made to God, when He set me free, once again to be a Christian! I highly recommend this book. Take care Puternut. (Sorry this post is longer than I intended)
let's see,where do i start?i decided to have a quiet drive home after work.it takes about one and half hours.no cd playing,no talk radio,no news, just a quiet drive listening to my own thoughts.i'm not concentrating on any one thing,just kind of letting my mind flow wherever it wants to.. then it starts,my mind goes back to when our children were small.as i'm driving i am having this flashback,i'm going to save my family from dying at armageddon,why the little ones are dependant on us for their future life happiness.. there will be no birthday parties,holiday celebrations,even though one of them was born on the 4th of july.no extra-curricular activities at school,and everyone will know that they don't salute the flag,nor sing the national anthem.and at the infirmary they know that they are not to take blood.. after school homework,the preparing for meetings,more studying comes next.no tv.
tonight,it's a meeting night.oh goody,the weekend is here,now we can go out and play.sorry,we have to go out in field service,mommy and daddy will show you how to have so much fun in the field service on saturday and sunday.. i start to cry,literally,there is real pain in my chest and a lump in my throat.as i have this flashback on the drive home tonight.i think of how i robbed my children of their childhood,i'm getting very emotional and angry,a picture flashes across my mind of all those years,30 plus,that i lost for my wife and children.the opportunities that we turned down,we are going to survive armageddon!.
i have had a talked with my family about my regrets over having put my family through this before and they don't blame me.they feel that i was doing what i thought was the best for them at the time.they forgive me,but i having yet forgiven myself.. the family says that they learned something about life,religion etc.that the experience has not made them bitter,and they have moved on.the children are happily married and doing fine.my wife and i are doing the best that we can with what time we have left.we are in our sixties,no retirement or pension fund.taking it day to day.. this is what happened on the quiet drive home tonight,it's been a year and a half of being inactive and still the flashbacks of the past 30 something years in the watchtower and all of what that has entail in raising my family still wells up inside me when i try to rest my mind and think of nothing.. i cried all the way home for one and a half hours,pain in my chest and heart,my head feeling like it would explode,angry at the society for the big chunk of life that they stole from us.. and i thought of so many others sharing the same feelings and experiences as my family,and those still stuck inside.soon as i arrived home,i collected myself together and said:"hi honey,i'm home!
Well I hope I'm not the only sap here who cried through this whole thread.
I don't think that feeling that one has wasted his life is unique to the JW"s. You say that you have a loving relationship with your wife and your children are doing fine. That's a lot more than a lot of people have. It's in the past and you can't undo it. You may, down the road, regret the time you wasted not being able to forgive yourself and truly enjoying the rest of your life. Please don't do that.
[quick update: almost a year ago my mother had two strokes and a heart attack.
needless to say, we haven?t stepped foot in a kingdom hell since then.
some of the rank and file have been kind and supportive, so i have them over to the house once in awhile (i?m also doing it for selfish reasons since it gives me a break and i can get out)]
I’m in agreement with all the other posters. You sound very caring and wise. You handled yourself amazingly well; that you put your own feelings aside for your mother. I think a lot of us could learn from this; I certainly can. Also the fact that you stood up to the elder was pretty courageous. One doesn’t have to go to church or the kingdom hall to feel the presence of God. He is with her in her own home, so how can He miss her. I like Ephesians 2:4-10. When my daughter had panic attacks (one being that she didn’t think she was good enough) I read this to her, and it helped her tremendously. She then realized that salvation was a gift because one believed and the works one does is not to be saved but because one is saved. So your mother shouldn’t feel that she has to go to meetings at this time, she doesn’t have to feel guilty about not being able to go door to door. That God loves her and understands. If you don’t like NWT have you considered NIV? I personally like the KJV but maybe the wording is too different from the the NWT for her. I just looked up the word peace in the Strong's Concordance and found Psalm 34 1-5. Take care.
I can't believe I said that. What I obviously meant to say was when they revived they'd try again. How do you attach a file that you have created in PhotoPaint? I've had no problem with photos but unable to do this.
Arm and a Geddon Da Vida, Baby (Dontcha Know That I Agape You?), Sheep Russellers, The Platter Passers, "Unsatisfied Hunger”, 1975 "Broken Promises", Special Release Cut: "Shattered Dreams of Tomorrow" 1995 "My Generation”
There were a lot of funny ones, but I really liked the above. Forgot to mention Born to be Mild. I can't think of any myself. The YardBirdpeckers, Soul (Sole) Survivors. No?
doodle-v: You may have something there with the brick wall. Maybe they are taking turns to break down the wall and each time they black out, but when they sucumb they try again.
Maverick: I did post once that I was leaving, and I did admit that I was probably having a bit of a childish tantrum because I felt that I wasn't heard. I was extremely vulnerable at the time and just felt more lonely because I felt that no-one cared enough to respond. I do think you are being insensitive. There are times in a persons life when things become almost impossible to bear, as was the case with me. I could not talk to anyone about it; not friends or family. This was the only place where I could talk freely about how I felt. I don't come here very often. I think the last time I posted was about a month ago. I have finally gotten over the situation that I was in. I do hope that you will be a bit more sensitive when this happens again and someone threatens to leave. We are all here because we want to say what's on our minds and to be validated; just to have someone to listen to us and maybe get some comfort when the going gets tough.
Personally: my dad passing away - finding out about the 5 points of Calvinism after being part of a CRC church for 14 yrs
Globally: the fires in BC, the war on Iraq and the earthquake in Iran (the last two are so devastating - I don't how they endure so much hardship - my problems are nothing compared to what these people have to deal with.
