Don't hesitate to talk openly about your jw past to a trusted person.
Most or nearly all I told were extremely helpful and loving.
Daniel1555
JoinedPosts by Daniel1555
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23
Reinstated and then fade
by Zeds Dead ini'm a man - d'fd for 2.5 years now and divorced.
find it hard to date girls out here only due to always having this secret i carry with me that i was once a jw and the thought of telling a girl one day why my family don't acknowledge me as even alive.. recently been thinking of trying to get reinstated and then do a quick fade as i cant go back to the whole jw stuff.. easier said than done and was turned down twice by elders after an immediate attempt 2 years ago.. my motivation for trying would be 1.
) to see if family make contact and 2) play the last hand in their game and give the middle finger.. interested in viewpoints?.
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17
Low Day For Me Today
by pale.emperor inhi guys.
it's been about 4 or 5 weeks since i was disfellowshipped.
so far it's been easy, i enjoyed being left alone, no one bothering me, no one telling me i need to do more, need to reach out, questioning why i didnt go on the ministry, and the fact that my ex-wifes family cant talk to me even if they wanted to.
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Daniel1555
That's a hard situation, to still attend when your ex and her family are in the same congregation.
Only you know, what is best to do in your situation.
I can tell you what I did. I am also divorced, df'd for apostacy, left alone by all my jw friends, my ex trying to limit my time with my son (3 years) as she said that she always will take him to the meetings, even if it is during my visitation time.
I'd never ever try to get reinstated. If someone is shunning me, it is their problem. However I am glad, that my parents don't shun me.
I slowly made new friends, who don't drop me just because I feel or think differently. I enjoy my free time, no service, no meeting anymore. I do some volunteer work of which I hope my son will be proud of me one day. And most importantly, I fight for my visitation time, I went to court and got the right to be with him every second weekend from Friday till Sunday and shared custody. Also my ex has to accept, that if he is with me, there'll be no Friday and no Sunday meeting for my son.
I celebrate his birthday with him and make it known to him that I don't follow all those crazy JW rules and that there is a world outside of JW life. I try my best to show him a moral way of life that is based on love, compassion, human rights and freedom. I show him tolerance of many different religious views. And I do everything that he has happy moments with me and that he feels loved by me. Love is the greatest weapon to counteract his indoctrination.
But I could never ever pretend to be a JW and hide something in front of my son.
Children are very smart. From an early age they realize when you are pretending something you are not.
If your daughter is older and she realizes your true feelings, I bet that you'll be df'd again.
You could ask yourself:
Would I allow a blood transfusion, if my daughter needed it?
Do I wanna raise my daughter in JW ways, when she is with me during my visitation time?
I was disfellowshipped for those reasons. Because I told them that I would never ever let him bleed to death and because I celebrated his birthday and because I didn't believe that a god of love commanded all those cruel things in the bible and that he never ever would kill innocent children or those who don't believe in him in armaggeddon. I openly told them that their shunning rules are against human rights.
I am happy and proud that I was df'd for those reasons. I am sure one day my son is older will understand and be proud and happy too that I give him a view of a different life than the JW life.
I know that this all and your situation is hard and that sometimes you feel low. But you are courageous and strong and a great daddy for your girl. She'll be proud of you.
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12
How do i keep seeing my daughter when she turns 18
by agnosticnow inhi.i have a 13 year old daughter that i still have for a limited time as she comes to stay about one night a month at present.the law here in australia is on my side in that the australian governments stand is that the child needs regular access to both parents .
i am currently arranging for mediation to have her more often .
her mother can not stand that i am living with another woman and doesn't want her here .
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Daniel1555
Don't give up and fight for your time with her.
Shower her with all the love you have. If you have a relationship that is built on love you don't have to worry.
When she is 18 she'll be an adult and can decide for herself how much time she wants to spend with her mum or dad. This can be positive for you.
You'll always be her dad. Be happy about it. You'll have many wonderful moments with her.
Don't speak negative about her mother, in fact speak positive about her.
Give her freedom to decide about different things, also religion.
Let her know that you love her no matter which religion she follows and that she can change her religion a thousand times or even don't follow one.
When she asks why you don't follow the JW faith, you can tell her. Maybe you can let her know about the Australian Royal Commission cases. Or recommend her to research herself about her faith.
Maybe at the right moment you could also talk to her about your fear, that she might shun you. Show her how shunning is against the UN declaration of human rights and that these ethical values are so important for human life.
But don't force your views on her.
I am in a similar situation. I also had to fight for my time with my son. The judge decided that I can be twice every second weekend for 2.5 days with him. He is nearly 4 years old now.
The poster "Driving Force" has great advice for you, as he also has a teenage daughter.
I wish you all the best.
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46
Mark Sanderson wears an Apple Watch at regional convention
by Edison Trent inlast weekend was regional convention and mark sanderson was the bethel speaker for the last talks every day.
his talks were video streamed from zurich to other cities in switzerland, austria and germany.
one interesting point was that he wore an apple watch, stainless steel edition (link).
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Daniel1555
DD..... i just love your posts.... 😂
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32
Who Owns the Copyright to Crisis of Conscience?
by Hold Me-Thrill Me inrecently there was a thread where someone asked if there was a copy of crisis of conscience they could purchase.
raymond franz it seems had limited resources yet he was able to provide crisis of conscience in printed form to what?
thousands?
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Daniel1555
There were sone threads on this forum about the copyright holder of coc.
It's a woman named Dykstra. She promised to make it available legally, but nothing really happened.
Here are some threads:
https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5690164928053248/availability-crisis-conscience
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75
I came here three years ago for support and to make friends
by KateWild inthis site is such a great and valuable resource and simon is to be commended for running it for so long.
when i first came i was in such a bad state and really needed support and friendship.
so many posters commented on my threads and showed genuine care some are real life friends, some are facebook friends, some i talk to on the phone and some are forum friends.. i have just realised though that everyone online is not your friend.
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Daniel1555
Hi Kate
I know your threads and posts from the beginning.
I comment on some of your threads and I know your story and also listened to your jc meeting.
I like very much how you welcome new posters and I also share some of your views.
Just a little advice I can give:
If somebody comments critically you can think of the points made if they were honest and genuine. By the way that's what you made on this thread by the things Simon said. It can be very hard to analize and even accept these things but it can be also good.
Don't take it too seriously. If someone dislikes you or speaks against you; ignore it. Don't be upset and offended here in the forum (in real life it might be a different story). Especially if you post controversial topics like if there is a god or creator or if evolution is guided by a higher power you know that there will be many posters who are full blown atheists and speak against any idea or belief indicating that there might be a god. But that's ok; it's a matter of personal faith (by the way i personally believe too that god or a higher power is behind evolution and the universe).
And one important thing. I know of your family tragedy and I feel your pain being separate of your children or your son. I myself feel this pain as I see my son every second weekend.
I like it that your son wants you in his life. Children need both parents. Even if he choses to be with you, he also needs some time with his dad, even though he will tell him jw things. Your son is old enough to make his own decisions about religion. I think he will love you even more, if he lives with you and if you speak positively about his dad. If he hurt you very much it would be good if you can forgive him and that your son knows you forgave him. If that's hard you could view him as a victim of the jw indoctrination.
And one important advice:
DON'T POST PICTURES OF YOUR SON IN THE FORUM.
He has the right to decide if his picture is posted in social networks especially in a forum like this. I understand that you were so happy at that moment. But it could backlash especially if your dad knows that you post his picture in a an "apostate" forum.
I wish you from my heart all the best in your life and that the relationship between you and your children will always be full of love.
You are a good and courageous example of someone who had a lot of struggles to leave this cult.
I love that you try your best to help others who are also in this difficult situation.
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22
Yoga. Evil practice?
by Darkknight757 inas our fade continues, the wife and i have decided to take up "the forbidden practice of.......yoga"!!!!😱.
i was quite skeptical at first but so far it has really de-stressed our life in quite a spectacular way!!
not to mention the physical benefits.. anyone else try yoga or a similar discipline?
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Daniel1555
My mum is very much in and a devout JW.
However she doesn't shun me, her disfellowshipped son and she goes to Yoga courses too.
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60
New Here ... Just woke up
by Sevan inhey all, .
this is my first post.
i haven't been out in service or to a meeting in over a month.. i realize now that i've been having serious questions for years and many articles and talks have greatly disturbed me over the years.
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Daniel1555
Hi Sevan
A very touching intro. Welcome.
You are mentally free now, to live according to your conscience. You are very courageous and honest, also that your husband knows about it. I hope he has some doubts himself.
It's very brave and good that you are so determined, to never set a foot into a KH.
I wish you all the best.
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Dallas Texas 5 Police Officers dead & 6 wounded ?
by smiddy inand it is still ongoing ?.
obviously sparked off by the 2 afro american citizens gunned down by police officers these past few days.?.
when is this sort of violence going to end ?.
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Daniel1555
A sniper shooting 10 police men. Where is this? Iraq? Afghanistan?
It makes me very sad for the police officers and for the 2 who were shot by the police and all of their families.
1 of these men was shot in a traffic control, as one of his rear lights didn't work. How crazy.
How crazy a situation when police officers are so afraid of their life that they shoot when the controlled person just makes a suspicious move.
One of the main factors to this craziness is, that there are way too much guns around. There are so much guns around that the danger for police officers is so horrific that they shoot too fast. There are so much guns around, that every few weeks we hear of a toddler shooting his mum (and that's only the cases who make it to the media).
In Switzerland and Germany where I live and all other European countries I don't need to be afraid to get shot, when the rear light of my car is not working.
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20
Happy birthday to me
by azor ini just turned 41 today.
last year was my first celebration at 40. half my life is lost to this cult and i celebrate by almost losing my job.
one of the only things i have left.
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Daniel1555
Happy Birthday Azor...
You are still young... how great to be free for the rest of your life....
And those 41 years were not lost.... these were all experiences who made you courageous and strong...