Hi problemaddict, if you really want to you can send me all your crazy stories, I'm bored out of my witts anyways, I could use some life lessons xD. I know I shouldn't disparage the religion I was raised in but it ruined my life!!! I haven't been to a friends house except once in grade 3 but my mom is there, I can barely hold a conversation with another human being unless it's with people I don't know on the Internet (but I'm working towards changing that) my whole family has condemned me my whole life for the silliest of reasons, and they act like they are spiritual and important in God's eyes, and I'm just a demon, I've had to fake how I act so much I'm my life that I don't even know who I am (I would change the tone of my voice, my manneurisms, everything, just to be deemed a "good child" in their eyes) I told them I was done pretending and you know what they said "you've always been a pretender"-!! "you've always been bad" all that's in my mind is what constitutes good and bad, I ponder on it everyday no matter how hard I tried it was always bad, no matter if I was timid, stayed at home all day, did the cleaning in the house, there was always something, no matter how small, and so finally I've come to the conclusion that it's my religions fault, everything. And so, that's that, and I will continue to talk to people about how deceptive it is, one of my closest friends, my Grandma is suffering right now because of what the elders did to her, but she still believes and even puts away her happiness when she could easily get married (of course she can't because she was divorced unscriptually from her abusive husband), its I can't go back to school, it was exactly the same as the meetings, just judging judging judging, for now I'll stay put at home, I don't need friends anyways, I have my anime and tv shows, plus the Internet and this forum, so I'm okay for now, thanks for the advice.