unique1

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Posts by unique1

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  54

  I can't get to grips with being shunned

  by chuckyy in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my wife and i have been disassociated for about 2 months now.

  every day in our small town we are being shunned by former friends.

  one in particular annoyed me today.

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  unique1

  In my JW ingrained Mother's words: "Shunning someone when they are disfellowshipped is a way of showing love for them. We show them how much we want them back in our lives and how much Jehovah wants them to do right and come back."

  It is really twisted reasoning, but that is probably how this brother feels. He probably feels that shunning you is loving and the best thing he can do for you right now. I know it is hard to get a handle on but this is how many old-timers feel. Try not to take it personally.

  By the way, you should see the look on someone who is DF or DA when a member in good standing goes out of their way to talk to them, like I do. I sucessfully faded, but most DF'd don't know that so they are completely shocked when I run over an isle in the Wal-Mart to speak to them. I have never been good at shunning people.
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  22

  same-sex relationships

  by mamas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was recently disfellowshipped for being involved in a relationship with another female.

  its been hard for me especially since my family no longer has association with me.

  i love my lady so much and i miss my family so much.

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  unique1

  Don't know if you have seen this site yet or not. Perphaps it will help.

  http://www.gayxjw.org/
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  17

  disfellowshipping

  by mamas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was recently disfellowshipped for being in a same sex relationship with a female.

  i understand that it is against bible standards but i do not agree with disfellowshipping in that everyone including my family has nothing to do with me.

  i am 18 years old.

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  unique1

  Welcome!

  I think you will find that no one here agrees with the disfellowshipping arrangement. There is no logical reason for your family to shun you, but their religion isn't logical and they are dedicated to it so they shun you anyways. I hope you can find a way to deal with it all. Maybe a family member or two will come around because they miss you so much. It has happened to several on this board and to a close friend of mine. Good Luck.
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  33

  The continuing saga of being in love with a Witness

  by starcrossedpimp in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i don't know how many read my prior post "problems with jw girlfriend and her family", but i feel the need to continue the story as it is very current and is taking quite a toll on both of us.

  she and i also work together at a grocery store, so even if she does/did decide to break things off (because of her parents and the religion) we would still see each other (i'll get to this in a minute).

  we both know that we still love each other and that we deserve to be together, but can this religion be stronger than true love?????

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  unique1

  Being the girl in this exact situation pretty much, I made my man study then get baptized and we were married 3 months later. He stayed in for about a year then faded, I followed suit about 2 years later.

  Here is my advice. Marry her!! If she is the one for you and you know it and she knows it, convince her to marry you. ELOPE!!! If you have to, offer to go to the meeting and sit beside her every meeting until she gets reinstated (if she is disfellowshipped). That way you will be under no obligation to study and get baptized, and DON'T just attend meetings, but it will also show that you care about her and respect her right to religion. If you get married, she will probably fade. Try to get a GREAT job in a town 30 minutes away and move there so fading will be easier on her. That is what it took for me. As long as you go to the same congregation as your parents, it is EXTREMELY difficult to fade. Hope this helps.
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  38

  Does The Thought of Being Disfellowshipped Bother You?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  is it realy the worst thing one can go through?

  are you afraid of it??

  has being disfellowshipped actually turned into a "blessing"?

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  unique1

  No it isn't the worst thing that could happen. But I love my parents and would like to keep talking to them as long as possible. They are my only immediate family aside from my husband. I would also miss my friends two young children, but I could get over that. Not being able to talk to my dad, don't know if I could deal with that.
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  30

  Not Too Bad A Cult.... In Comparison To Others. Let's Talk About Cults.

  by Doubtfully Yours in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i saw an episode of a day talk show the other day in which they interviewed these two women that were part of a polygamous cult in utah.

  the cult was referred to as 'the order'.. men married many young wives, and these were expected/forced to breed in large numbers.

  these women worked for the cult.

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  unique1

  True, Noone made me drink Kool-aid, nor did I have to kill myself for the aliens to pick me up and I didn't have the government come and blow me up like the branch dividians, so I guess it is a nicer cult than most.
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  5

  New Blood Cards

  by unique1 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my father called me and asked me to be his power of attorney on his blood card.

  (yes i will respect my father's wishes, even if he won't respect mine.

  ) confused, i told him i thought the power of attorney was a second document you could obtain upon request.

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  unique1

  Wow, at least it doesn't have to be renewed yearly now. That is good. I didn't know that No-Blood clinics required it. It just kind of freaked me out that it used to be this 12 page document that you had to request from the society and now it is less than 1/4 of a standard page and on the back of the blood card.

  As far as my dad, I am the only relative he has in the "truth". I am not disfellowshipped, I just faded. He was relieved of his elder duties last year because someone else spread lies about him and my mother is an official B!t@h so they don't really have any close friends that they could ask.
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  21

  Tsunami appeal at the Kingdom Hall

  by Geminal Amine in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was both perplexed and unsettled tonight at the hall.. the second last part of the service meeting, the brother started reading a report from hq regarding the tsunami and jw deaths.. indo, there were no jw's living there so no deaths ( other than possible holiday makers ).

  phuket, there were no jw's living there so no deaths.

  so and so a place, same as above.... some other place ( sorry for forgetting i was almost asleep ), 1 jw death as well as a few inactive jw deaths.. luckily it was then mentioned, all jw's ( except the 1 above plus inactive ) were at the meeting which was on high ground so they didnt die ( implying that being at the meeting saved them ), but their huts were completely distroyed.

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  unique1

  By the way, WELCOME.

  I hope you find what you are looking for. Sorry if I sound bitter, but I was in the "truth" for 25 years before the realization that they acted so uncharitable, uncaring, & unchristian hit me. Stuff like this just sets me off.
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  21

  Tsunami appeal at the Kingdom Hall

  by Geminal Amine in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was both perplexed and unsettled tonight at the hall.. the second last part of the service meeting, the brother started reading a report from hq regarding the tsunami and jw deaths.. indo, there were no jw's living there so no deaths ( other than possible holiday makers ).

  phuket, there were no jw's living there so no deaths.

  so and so a place, same as above.... some other place ( sorry for forgetting i was almost asleep ), 1 jw death as well as a few inactive jw deaths.. luckily it was then mentioned, all jw's ( except the 1 above plus inactive ) were at the meeting which was on high ground so they didnt die ( implying that being at the meeting saved them ), but their huts were completely distroyed.

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  unique1

  Yeah, that is pretty rude. When I look back now they always have been. It is the same reason as reason I left. When they only talked about the 7 JW's killed on 9/11 and the brothers only prayed for those 7 families. RUDE and extremely UNCHRISIAN. But, when you think about it that is how they have always been. They only take care of their own.
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  5

  New Blood Cards

  by unique1 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my father called me and asked me to be his power of attorney on his blood card.

  (yes i will respect my father's wishes, even if he won't respect mine.

  ) confused, i told him i thought the power of attorney was a second document you could obtain upon request.

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  unique1

  My father called me and asked me to be his Power of Attorney on his blood card. (Yes I will respect my father's wishes, even if he won't respect mine.) Confused, I told him I thought the Power of Attorney was a second document you could obtain upon request. He said not anymore, the new cards have the blood information as well as a power of attorney and ALL blood cards now have to be notarized. I guess signing one every year wasn't enough in some areas. It just seems crazy to me. OVERKILL. I feel sorry for the few Notary's in each congregation, they are going to be very busy.

  I apologize if this topic has been brought up already. The search function wouldn't work for me.