Posts by asleif_dufansdottir

Having heard the phrase, "nervous as a wh0re in church", the members of the Church Centre decided to give their house of worship a name which they thought would make wh0res feel more at home...

44

I'm so excited! Got the proof for my book cover today!

by SanFranciscoJim in

jw
friends

well, it's been a long time coming, but my publisher just sent me the proof for the cover of my sci-fi novel today, and it looks fantastic!

i wrote back and told them it was well worth the wait.. as soon as they release the book, i'll make a shameless announcement so you can all rush out and buy a copy.

(unless, of course, you want me to come to your town for a book-signing!

I feel like I've 'known' you since way back in the day on Tishie's old board. Not only am I very happy for you personally, I think it's extra sweet that you have come so far and had such succes since you were abused by the Borg, for nothing more than being who you are.

You (and several others on this board) are an example that should be held up to those still suffering within that organization!

Congrats!

17

worldy girl living with inactive JW, confronts his father about religion

by Mulan in

jw
friends

my jw friend has a son who is living with a very nice young woman, who has two little girls 3 and 5. my friend has no problem with this, because she is like all of us, but is playing the jw game to keep her family.

(large extended one) she has become very close to the young woman and her children.

the girlfriend wants to celebrate christmas.

asleif_dufansdottir

Mulan - It's great that she could see the humor in the situation!

Runningman...where did you get your Charlie Brown pic?...(I love Peanuts) I can't make it out completely - is it on the web somewhere?

46

Planning A Fade. Need Ideas

by Doubtfully Yours in

this double life is slowly eating away at me.

i'm planning to fade away and need all the ideas i can get.. it needs to be a fade because my parents, who i care deeply about are heavily into it and my poor hubby is wanting to obtain more privileges in the cong.

me, on the other hand, can't stand going to so many meetings and service and giving parts, etc.. very much appreciate your ideas and support.

asleif_dufansdottir

Aslief had some good ideas (no a life coach are you?)

Not hardly. Just an x-JW married to a guy who had really bossy dominant tendencies before he ran into the JWs (yeah, the JW years were a joy, alright). My guess is that he sees her actions as a direct challenge to his authority...he's a JW male after all...I'm sure he thinks that she should do what he wants whether she wants to or not.

I was the "unbelieving wife" for a few years before I gave up and joined. He always used to try to force me to go to meetings and get furious when I didn't...and he knew I thought the society was crap...but he thought I should believe it just because HE did. Him being the husbandly owner and decision-maker and all.

In my experience, flat-out NO and not being willing to even discuss it is the only way to handle the JW-male-petty-dictator. If you can scare 'em so much the better.

And when everybody from the hall asks you where you are...you can just sigh and look sad and be VERY VAGUE about how his attitude and behavior are just so discouraging and you just can hardly think about it without crying (just hints, remember, no specifics, although mentioning him throwing things would be good). You have family and other allies at the hall, right, so what could be better than making him afraid to pitch his little fit because then he'll be blamed for your "discouragement"... (but then I'm evil )This could even help you when it comes time to fade...he'll get the blame for stumbling you. (this might be too nasty for you...like I said, I'm evil )

36

what do you REALLY want for christmas?

by missylissy in

jw
friends

if you could have anyone thing for christmas, what would it be.

it can be, an actual object, or sumthing you'd really like to happen.

but, what do you really want for christmas?

asleif_dufansdottir

I want to be able to finish grad school with my doctorate and find a career I believe in without having to worry about financial issues...

I might as well have wished for world peace

Edited to add: And that all kitties in the world would live their lives safe, warm, happy, loved and well fed.

25

Should "Merry Christmas" Be Replaced With "Happy Holidays"?

by Kenneson in

jw
friends

it seems that some think that "happy holidays" is more politically correct than "merry christmas.

" they take offense to the word christ in christmas and want to replace it.

personally, i think we should keep the words.

asleif_dufansdottir

They take offense to the word Christ in Christmas and want to replace it. What do you think?

I don't think it's taking offense for the majority, as much as a recognition that we live in a multicultural world and not everybody celebrates Christmas.

I'm a Teaching Assistant at a large university. Today we had our last class. There were students there from other countries like Africa and India, and I know there were at least a few Jewish students in my class. Wishing them "Merry Christmas" would have been pretty insensitive, especially considering I'm supposed to be a social scientist and have a clue that not everybody thinks like me. (especially since that was one of the main points about the class)

I think it's just polite to acknowledge that there are other religions and cultures who celebrate holidays at this time, and they deserve recognition and not some backhanded comment that is in effect saying, "you should be like me".

Unlike many fundamentalist Christians I've run into, I don't see acknowledging that other religions besides Christianity exist presents a "threat" to Christianity.

But then, I celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday and for the religious holiday I prefer Solstice So I suppose that makes me one of "those" people...

46

Planning A Fade. Need Ideas

by Doubtfully Yours in

this double life is slowly eating away at me.

i'm planning to fade away and need all the ideas i can get.. it needs to be a fade because my parents, who i care deeply about are heavily into it and my poor hubby is wanting to obtain more privileges in the cong.

me, on the other hand, can't stand going to so many meetings and service and giving parts, etc.. very much appreciate your ideas and support.

asleif_dufansdottir

I'm afraid I have to chime in with those who are concerned that if your husband throws things and has temper tantrums to get his way, that this does not bode well for your marriage. My advice is nont going to help you fade...but I'm really afraid fading is not looking to possible for you from what you've said.

Think about this...why do you accept the temper tantrum?? Everybody's different, and so are everybody's marriages, but if I was you, the next time he started that crap it would be time for a (what folks back home call) "Come to Jesus" meeting (not in the religious sense, I just like the phrase).

Stop him cold in his tracks. Tell him you're not putting up with behavior that would get a 2-year-old taken in the back room and spanked at a meeting. Plain language like,

"I'm not going because I don't want to. I don't need any other reason. Your bad behavior is not doing a thing to change that. Deal with it."

Phrases like, "end of discussion" and "I'm not going to be spoken to like that" are helpful here, too. Don't let him drag you into the fight, don't try to reason with him, DON'T try to appease him.

There's also the helpful words, "I'm going to do what I want with my life whether you like it or not."

Don't let him bully or intimidate or boss you. You're an adult, be one! If he gets violent tell him you're calling the cops - and do it!! And follow through with the complaint, too. Bullies often back down quick when confronted with strength, but you have to be Determined, you can't let him see you waiver or he'll be convinced if he just keeps up he'll get his way.

Stop thinking that he, your parents, or the elders have any right to tell you what to do or guilt you into anything. Do what you want.

Tell him that you love him but you're not going to let that give him the power to control your life.

Keep us posted!