asleif_dufansdottir

Joined

• started 31 topics
• posted 1,076 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by asleif_dufansdottir

• 
  195

  What "CAUSES" a molested child to hurt? (Warning: Possible Triggers)

  by gumby in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  when a child is molested, they suffer in many ways through their years as we all know.

  my question is......what tells them it is not right?

  how do they know that they have been abused?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  I have come really late to this thread because I've been avoiding it, but I have been thinking about the original question.

  When I was a child I always looked way older than I actually was. I was as tall as my teacher in the first grade (she was a really short woman, but still, she was an adult). And I've always been well-endowed. My mom said I was "born with a bustline". I was also a pretty intelligent kid, as far as books and vocabulary go, so I probably didn't talk like a kid.

  It was very common for men to pay attention to me that, as a child, I was not ready to handle. I do want to be clear about something, though. Aside from one very brief incident with a guy who was later convicted of molesting his girlfriend's kids, I wasn't abused. But I was uncomfortable, embarrassed, and scared. Often.

  You know how a man looks at a woman he's interested in, or winks, or tries to start a conversation with her? That sort of intense, mildly sexual interest? Stuff that would be totally innocent and normal and welcome if both of you were adults? Well, if you're on the receiving end of that as a kid, it's uncomfortable and scary.

  I'm not saying that they guys who made me uncomfortable were bad guys. The vast majority of them had no idea how old I was and probably would have been horrified. But I am saying that kids can instinctually realize that some interactions are uncomfortable...that there's something wrong with them. Even going to the mall, when I was a kid, was an exercise in embarrassment and discomfort. It was made worse by the fact that guys my own age didn't like me at all.

  Talking about it with my husband, much later, I realized that all the attention that I'd received that made me so embarrassed, uncomfortable and scared, would have been considered perfectly normal by an adult woman. The fact that I'd tried not to think about it for so many years, and had built up such a wall around it with big flashing signs saying "Scary! Stay away! Something wrong here!" in my mind...when I finally realized what had been going on, it was such a relief...finally, it wasn't something I'd done wrong or something that was wrong with me...it was just a misunderstanding (usually). Of course, I still have issues about it...but at least I know what I have issues about.
• 
  74

  Why does it have to be gay "marriage?"

  by spiritwalker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know this a hot topic, but i had some thinking on it i wanted to discuss.

  to begin, i have nothing against a gay man or lesbian woman and consider many to be friends.

  i would also like to express from the beginning in plain thought, "i think gay unions should be legal and do not see why it matters.".

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  I will never understand why people suggest that to legalize gay marriage will open the doors for legalized incest, polygamy, and child marriage...because unless these relationships are specifically homosexual, they have more to do with heterosexual marriage than homosexual marriage. Legalizing heterosexual union has not made it legal for heterosexuals to marry multiple individuals, children, or their siblings. As a matter of fact, when these types of marriages have been practiced in history, it has been heterosexuals who have practiced them, not homosexuals. I don't see the connection except in the minds of alarmist homophobes.

  There is one other legal protection given to legal spouses that has not been mentioned in this thread, and is not one that often occurs to people - legal spousal privilege. If a gay person is being prosecuted, sued, etc, all their communication with their loved ones - emails, letters, phone calls - can all be used against them. This is something that heterosexuals take for granted. We can be totally open with our spouses without it hurting us later.
• 
  22

  Help is this true??????

  by finger in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.geocities.com/heartland/2919/reasons2.html

  are these true especially numbers:.

  20, 26 (is this true in uk?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  whats wrong with chess??

  It's based on politics and war. It's a war game. War games are not for 'jehovah's people' (yes, really)
• 
  25

  This is a women's poll. Men feel free to comment....

  by Country Girl in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  this poll is inspired by comments on maverick's spoiled women thread.

  it's a sincere poll and i hope to see at least some intelligent comments here.

  are you currently married or coupled to/with a american/canadian/british/european/scandinavian who is also a white/caucasion male?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  • Are you currently married or coupled to/with a American/Canadian/British/European/Scandinavian who is also a white/caucasion male? yes
  • Are you happily or unhappily married/coupled? usually, depends on the day
  • Why are you happy or unhappy in your marriage/couple? good se ....uh.... we're intellectual equals, and have fun together too, plus he likes kitties and isn't afraid to admit it
  • If you are happy or unhappy in your marriage/relationship, does it have anything to do with the race, background or culture of your husband/partner? Or is it him, as an individual that keeps your interest or doesn't keep it? yes. he's from a German-American farm family where the women wait on the men hand and foot, and never tell them no (even though the women work on the farm, outside the house, at least as much as the men do) His expectation that he will do zip-yada in the house and that I'll get up and get him food and drink whenever he wants it, and that he's the boss, because that's just what women do...has caused us lots of problems.
  • If you are a woman who is divorced from a white/caucasion man, do you date white/caucasion men now? Do you exclusively date men of other races? n/a
  • If you date men of other races and cultures, do you do it because they have more of what you're looking for? What would that be? n/a, though if I wasn't married I wouldn't care what the race/culture of the guy I was interested was, as long as he was nice
  • How many of you ladies prefer an intelligent, confident, independent and loving man of any culture to a dominant man of any culture? well, duh
  • Are there any non white women here prefer white men over other races and cultures of men? If so, please tell us why.
• 
  92

  Our Women are spoiled ... and it's our fault!

  by Maverick in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  here in america we had the most spoiled females on the planet!

  american women run the show, guys we are toast!

  and i know who to blame!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  Now that's just mean!

  Oh, boy, you ain't seen mean yet.

  I have a couple of lady friends that would not be too happy with you for messin' with my equipment.

  You might be surprised. They might be tired of that ol' wore out, leaky, sad thing, and be happy for the chance to get some new improved equipment.

  (told ya)

  Waitaminit...a couple of lady friends? Maybe we should just tell them about each other and let them do the damage.

  Are you trying to get this locked!!!!!

  Shouldn't the exclamation points be question marks? Besides, we're just discussing the relative merits (or lack thereof) of used fire equipment. I used to live in a town that had a nice restored Stutz Bearcat fire engine for parades...
• 
  106

  What Do You Connect With Certain Posters?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what do you connect with certain posters?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir
• 
  92

  Our Women are spoiled ... and it's our fault!

  by Maverick in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  here in america we had the most spoiled females on the planet!

  american women run the show, guys we are toast!

  and i know who to blame!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  Time to get the fire hose ladies! Please don't fight....until I can sell some tickets!

  Hey, you started it, Mister. You men may think that everything can be solved with the prompt application of your fire hose, but if you don't put that thing away you're going to be very, very sorry.

  We 'women of a certain age' know what to do to men who wave their fire hoses at us. And it's not pleasant. Ok, well it's pleasant for us, but not the fire hose.

  Got your sword, Xena??
• 
  41

  "I will tell you why you don't believe"

  by Sirona in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  "do you want to know why you don't believe the truth anymore?

  i've just been asked this question by a jehovahs witness who stopped to talk to me in town.

  i'd told her i didn't believe anymore.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  There is certainly a difference between (for example) people who believe in absurdities that require them to dance naked during a full moon, and those who believe in absurdities that require them to fly aeroplanes into skyscrapers.

  For a starter Hey! There is nothing in my religion which says I'm required to dance naked under a full moon. Can you say "misinformed"? If I did choose to dance naked under a full moon (which I haven't by the way) then it would be for the purpose of enjoying life and celebrating beautiful things.

  Well, I have. Don't knock it if you haven't tried it, FD.

  And, for the record, it wasn't 'my belief in absurdities' that 'required' me to do it. I am, at best, an agnostic Pagan. Nothing 'required' me to do it. Sometimes you just do things because you enjoy them and it seems to connect on an emotional level.

  There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio...I'd be very careful of broadly using the term 'absurdities'. Especially, as it turns out, you don't really know what you're talking about...
• 
  92

  Our Women are spoiled ... and it's our fault!

  by Maverick in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  here in america we had the most spoiled females on the planet!

  american women run the show, guys we are toast!

  and i know who to blame!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  You all go buy, read and put into practice 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands', recently written by Dr. Laura.

  Oh, yeah, right away...sure.

  Just as soon as my husband goes out and buys, reads, and puts into practice The Proper Care and Feeding of Wives.

  Cause, let me tell you, I've done that "abase yourself and be the obedient, submissive little wifey" thing. You know what it got me? More taken advantage of, less respect, less happiness.

  I have no idea how long you've been married, but I'm coming up on 22 years. And if I had to chose today between being married (and I do love my husband, I just also love myself) and being myself, he'd be out the door.

  Fortunately, he's smarter than that. But it hasn't been an easy road.
• 
  92

  Our Women are spoiled ... and it's our fault!

  by Maverick in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  here in america we had the most spoiled females on the planet!

  american women run the show, guys we are toast!

  and i know who to blame!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  in fact thank God for DY because that's one less idiotic asshole the rest of us have to deal with.

  ROFLMAOPIP

  AMEN!

  Preach it, sista Bisous!

  Asleif, who's motto is..."Only weak men are intimidated by strong women"

  (oh, wait, this isn't shamus' argument thread? )