Something that works for me is to answer in the STAR format.
Situation, Task, Action, Result.... (although doing this with every answer sounds silly but pick and choose)
Employers tend to dig this.
Good LUCK!
Posts by breal
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38
A Beautiful Mind
by LittleToe ini've just watched "a beautiful mind", with russell crowe, on video.. i loved it, even though i was moved to tears.
believe me when i say that's an accolade.
last time i got near to that was seeing "dead poet's society" and "awakening" with robin williams, on the big screen (1989/90 respectively?
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breal
I liked "A Beautiful Mind"
Recently we watched Antwone Fisher (based on a true story). It was moving.
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Do you ever get them at the door?
by MrsQ inok, i have been 'out' for about 9 years, now.
in all that time i have lived in 4 different states.
i have only had two visits from jw's during that time and both times they were from spanish congregations...the first time because my boyfriend at the time was mexican-american and someone told them we spoke spanish...the second time because my next door neighbors spoke spanish and they came to my place accidentally.. at any rate, both times as soon as they found out we spoke english, they scurried away and apologized for bothering us.
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breal
Nope. Not once. Thankfully for me. However I now work with two JW's.
I lived in one place for almost 7 years and never once was called on. Prior to that moved around a lot so I could see how I may have missed the rounds.
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42
How many of you know you want children or knew you wanted children before ?
by sandy indid you always know you wanted children?.
if so how did you feel after.. if you do not want children, why?.
i am not sure if i want children and i am interested in all your opinions.
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breal
From a very young age I wanted to have children and be a mom. I think it would be amazing to experience everything that is part of having a child. Also growing up in a very disfunctional family it has been important to me that I have a family of my own one day. To me having a child would complete me.
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Should have seen the signs...
by breal in***the 4 door car***the inability to attend the annual family picnic on sunday ***the attitude so childish yet judgemental***
....funny thing is the words jw flickered in my mind on the second day i was there....and i never gave it much thought other than to wonder where the hell that came from...
the story: i started a new job recently.
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breal
Mike - funny story about the pioneer days. Yeah - I figure she is probably just as uncomfortable as me - thus I am just leaving it be.
Rock On - No worries. I understood what you were saying. It was just a new experience for me so thought I would share. Plus people here tend to have great suggestions.
CG - Good point. I am leaving the ball in her court. If she has questions I will try to answer them but I am not up for any big religious debates as like ya said it is a waste of time. I hope though that by her seeing how I am it may enlighten her to the fact that not all DF'd people are evil. Then again if it doesn't - oh well.
Cheers,
Breal
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30
Should have seen the signs...
by breal in***the 4 door car***the inability to attend the annual family picnic on sunday ***the attitude so childish yet judgemental***
....funny thing is the words jw flickered in my mind on the second day i was there....and i never gave it much thought other than to wonder where the hell that came from...
the story: i started a new job recently.
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breal
Czar - She's not my type
Brwn eyes- Who knows maybe she has never been able to talk with a real live DF'd person before. I don't want to shut her down to early as she may have some valid questions for me. Maybe it will open her eyes to the fact that we are not all slaves to the .
Jgnat - Yep she was pretty judgemental - but not sure if that is necessarily a JW trait or just a personal trait (or perhaps a combination of those and her age) since she has poor social skills with all people in the office.
Six - When were were at lunch she mentioned that her MS husband got talked to about streaking his hair (highlights or whatever) and was told he would have no priviledges until it grew out. I was sitting there wondering since when did the bible speak out against stuff like that? And I noticed two people at the table next to us give her a strange look. It was kinda funny. She also mentioned how her & her husband were "talked to" by the elders about public displays of affection (they were holding hands at a meeting one week before they got engaged)...again a look from the party next to us. I stated how ridiculous that was considering to them marriage was imminent or at least a forgon conclusion in there minds.
Rockon - I am ok with typical get to know you kind of questions as that is a part of any new environment but after a while when it becomes more interogation style or preachy I get my back up.
Cheers,
BReal
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breal
Tattoo's are beautiful! That is a nice rose. Have you gone to any of the shops and taken a look in the books at all the different options?
If I were brave enough I would maybe get a tattoo of a black panther crawling up my back from my waist...just a tiny one.
Make sure you get recommendations on a good place to go in the lower mainland.
Cheers,
BReal.
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30
Should have seen the signs...
by breal in***the 4 door car***the inability to attend the annual family picnic on sunday ***the attitude so childish yet judgemental***
....funny thing is the words jw flickered in my mind on the second day i was there....and i never gave it much thought other than to wonder where the hell that came from...
the story: i started a new job recently.
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breal
Thanx for all the feedback.
Prisca - Yep - we will see how it goes. If it is not a good fit I will give notice since I kept my other job so I could get an idea first if this place was worth the change. It is funny since even the endless non religious questions she asked prior to this conversation got on my nerves as well. I think she just wanted to know the full story so she could report to her elders (she mentioned she had already reported the other JW in the officce to the elders for how that person handled a temporary seperation from that person spouse).
Ravyn - maybe they have a new combat type pioneer training school. I read your post the other day about the determined dub at your door. Unreal.
Estee - Hi! Yes she was full of fear and doom and gloom. That is why I felt sorry for her. She is so young and it made me realize what I could have ended up like if I had not left so early.
Scully - No worries. I will state and restate my position if I must. She did not make me angry or anything - although the questions were a bit like an interogation...she just made me feel sad for her. If things get really bad I have no qualms over bringing it up with HR or quitting if I find that the place is not a good fit for me. She doesn't really worry me - but the other JW in the office is in a position that could affect my work directly...so that will be the one I keep an eye on moreso.
Shakita - Yep the inuendo's were there. Trying to make me feel bad about not giving the elders the benefit of the doubt and not accepting that they and all other JW's are imperfect and therefore although they feel right in judging me - she seemed to think my thoughts/judgements on them were harsh. Wish I found strange since I did not go on the defensive or attack... I even told her straight out that while I think the JW's are a good place for some to be it is not the place for me and I told her I respect peoples choice to be a JW and I think they should respect my decision not to be...
Run don't walk - I tried to tell her that if "Jehovah" was going to judge me based on a decision I made in my youth then he would not be a "god of love", and that if he judged me based on that one decision to not live life as a JW and missed seeing all the other good things I do in life then that is silly. She did not understand how I feel there is a "higher power" of some sort but that I was not really sure if I believed in God.... She likes the constant changing doctrine. Stated that it makes her realize how humble the organization is
Mr. Magoo - Yes I totally agree with you! Plus I think the world would overpopluate...She did not see this.
Gadget - yes my heart was heavy when she told me about the 90yr old family member being DF'd. All I thought about was Cruzanhearts dad. It made me sad.
Gary - It is amazing that her & I did not click from the start. But there is no way she could have known I was DF'd or a witness. But it cracks me up now that I know to think back on the type of "witness" she is giving by her actions and conversations in the workplace.
Shotgun - thanx for the PM and the suggestion! I will keep that in mind. However I am not really angry at her. I just have never been in the situation of feeling like I really need to defend my choice before. Mostly I am just unsure about if I should let her talk some more since she also said some anti JW things..like when I mentioned to her about how sexist the organization is unless located in a country with a lack of brothers then sisters are permitted to take on more responsibilities. She even agreed with me....then tried to back up the org. by stating that they don't want to follow to closely with what "the worldly corporations are doing"... I gently tried to make her realize that by believing that hype she is limiting her potential and those thoughts will carry over into the rest of her life.
Teenyuck - yeah I'll keep track of things. I am not ready to jump ship just yet. I still have my other job and will just wait to see if the company as a whole is worth it.
Kingpawn - She did mention that in her old hall the elders questioned her about how she was getting her hours since they never saw her out in service much... maybe I should ring them up (Kidding) ...
NN - I can handle the questions and I am more leaning towards just answering them since if other people listen they will see that she is a bit extreme in her views whereas I am pretty balanced. But yes I will be careful so as not to get blindsided.
Thanks again! I will post again with any new developments but mostly I just hope this does not become a huge issue.... am I being unrealistic?
Cheers,
Breal
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30
Should have seen the signs...
by breal in***the 4 door car***the inability to attend the annual family picnic on sunday ***the attitude so childish yet judgemental***
....funny thing is the words jw flickered in my mind on the second day i was there....and i never gave it much thought other than to wonder where the hell that came from...
the story: i started a new job recently.
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breal
***The 4 door car***the inability to attend the annual family picnic on Sunday ***the attitude so childish yet judgemental***
....funny thing is the words JW flickered in my mind on the second day I was there....and I never gave it much thought other than to wonder where the hell that came from...
The Story: I started a new job recently. Did not hit it off with my trainer. She is a child in a womans body. She has very poor social skills and is a huge gossip....
Well today over lunch she asks me about family stuff...getting tired of the questions I advised we were not close. Then she kept prodding so I mentioned it was mostly due to religious issues. She smiled...
Out of nowhere it clicks.... I asked her if she was a JW.... yep she is.... regular pioneer for yrs, MS as husband, elder for father and FIL. Ugh... She initially thinks that I am the one in good standing and don't speak with my family due to them leaving. Then I tell her...no I left, and was DF'd many years ago. Silence. I give her credit as she handled it pretty well. She did not run screaming or anything.
Instead the rest of the lunch hour was spent with her asking me things like:
"Why don't you want to live forever?" "Wouldn't you like to not have to worry that everyone will die of cancer at age 45?" "Do you believe in creation or evolution?" "You have to realize that the people in the halls are just imperfect" ....she could not believe that things of this nature do not weigh heavily on my mind.Ugh...I do not feel compelled to justify my reasons for not wanting to be a part of it to anyone...Then she starts in on the whole "Things have really changed with the society" "Perhaps a hall change would have been the answer"
The kicker....
"You could appeal your DF'ing by stating that you were too young and not really interested in dedicating your life..." ????? She also stated that she is not to worried about an elderly family member who is 90 who got DF'd as her family believes he could have dimentia and is not responsible for his actions so how could Jehovah hold that against her..... Hmm.. I did not know this was the new view of the society?!???
THEN - she has the nerve to start talking about kids going through a rebelious period, and then when she figures she has not hit the mark with that moves to a deep depression she experienced and then she starts talking about how she just has to put her hope in Jehovah that he will make everything ok.
For starters I have no intention of ever going back. Which I made very clear. I told her I respect other people's decision to be part of it, that people should accept mine that it is not for me.... Then she wants info on the "status" of my family and husband etc...
So this being my first run in with a JW since leaving it was very odd. Then I find out that there is another person in our office who is also a JW....who knows what it will be like. She even said she loves that the society is humble enought to admit when they are wrong about teachings and adjust them - but not adjust them too much to just be like "the world" ....
I felt ill for a while afterward. I felt sorry for her. Sorry for the long post I was just amazed that I have made it this far without having any contact with JW's like this - not enjoyable. Now I can't wait to see if in the days to come her attitude and her demeanor at work change any since I am in the know as to her religion.
Sorry for the long post....
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35
Having children ??? did the Watchtower have an affect on your decisions ???
by run dont walk ini remember growing up and thinking that there was no way i would have kids ......... why ???
....... because i did not want to raise them the way i was raised, in the borg.
i went through hell, why put a defenceless child through that.
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breal
Used to feel there was something "wrong" with me cuz I always wanted to be a mom instead of a regular pioneer like my sister or the other girls in the hall.
Oh well - live and learn right?!