one thing jehovah's witnesses do is they try to make their adherents feel afraid.
fear is a major reason to go to meetings, out in service, personal study, etc.
jws are always talking about the great tribulation and armageddon.
I always felt that I wasn't a good enough jw now matter how hard I tried. The jw lifestyle just didn't fit me, I'm a quiet person by nature, so trying to do all that was expected of me was very hard. Then that was never enough. I just gave up, figured I was dead meat anyway so why try. That's a horrible burden to put on someone. The Watchtower is truly evil.
Hapgood
(c) matt thackston, 2003 .
i came from a town where they believed god was good.
they never asked questions about what they didn?t have.
This sounds like a great cd. Thanks for the link, I'll definitely check this out. The lyrics are so on target as to what an xjw goes through. Thanks for posting the lyrics.
Hapgood
as many of you know, last year i wrote a science fiction novel.
this past weekend, the fulfillment of a dream i've had for many years came to be a reality.
my novel has been released!
Congratulations Jim!!! I enjoy reading science fiction, this book sounds wonderful. I defiantly will be ordering one from you.
Hapgood
i gather from the posts that some here attend the meetings.
i will look on the congregation with a new light now.. imagine maybe the girl/guy saitting next to me is you.. shall i save a seat for you all at this summers convention.
i will be the lady with the silent lamb pin on her suit.
I've always thought about that when I go to the Assemblies (don't go to the meetings anymore). I look around and wonder it there are others like me in attendance. It would be great if we could somehow identify each other.
Hapgood
when we reminisce about our lives as jws, we keep coming back to some themes.
it seems like most of us have had some or all of these experiences:.
faking field service time reports.
I was guilty of day-dreaming at meetings. I really did try to pay attention but I would eventually drift off. I was (still am) really good at that, I would just zone out and be somewhere else in my mind. I'm sure I probably looked like I was paying attention (well maybe I looked more like a zombie). The funny thing is, that now I'm out when I go to the Assemblies with my hubby (don't go to the meetings anymore), I pay attention and actually listen to what is being said, it's very shocking. Since my hubby will not discuss "spiritual" things with me anymore, I told him to please just listen and think about what is being said at the meetings. He usually naps at the meetings and Assembles. I think that the next time he drags me to an Assembly I will take some notes so I can share with him all the fine spiritual food that he missed while sleeping :-)
I never faked my field service report. I always felt like I was stealing from Jehovah if I didn't turn in an accurate report. If anything, if I was in doubt about my time I would put less time on my report. That's probably why I didn't have much time when I would turn in my field service report. I wasn't creative enough in counting my time.
Hapgood
many years after i was df'd, i found myself at the end of a shunning campaign led by a robotic jw neighbour.. the neighbour had moved in next door to me.
he'd even borrowed some tools of mine before he discovered that i was an ex.
at this point he began a serious "i'm ignoring you" strategy which i found utterly hilarious as he was the one who had chosen to move in next door to me.
I didn't know what I was getting into, so no I didn't know the score. I was not at all familiar with the JW's because I was not raised in the religion, and none of my family members were JW's (except hubby that got dunked at the same time as me). I studied with the JW's when I was 19, and six months later I was baptized. This was in 1975, the time was short, better get baptized before the end. I only studied one book before getting baptized, that was the "Lie" "Truth" book, so I definitely was not well informed about the "two faced" policies of the Tower. That takes place after the "love bombing".
Hapgood
long before i started on the mental road toward xjwism, soft-voiced misgivings whispered to me as i read bible stories.
why did jehovah like abel's offering better than cain's?
wasn't it cruel of abraham to banish hagar and ishmael?
I read this book and really enjoyed it. It really made me think that there is so much more to these accounts in the the Bible that weren't written down. I always wondered about Dinah and what happened to her, and this book is kind of a "what if", and it's so nice to have the freedom to wonder and question. I found this book interesting, especially after being exposed to the Watchtower version of this account. The JW's taught that it was through Dinah's bad association that this was the reason for her being raped by Shalem, then this caused her brothers to murder the inhabitants of the city of Shechem. I never quite bought that even when I was a JW, that the whole incident was somehow Dinah's fault. I always felt that there was more involved that was never written.
It's nice to have the freedom to read what ever I want without feeling guilty.
Hapgood
jehovah's wife and her kids.
this was a response that my friend cynthia sent back to this person in response to her questions.
mr. watters:.
Did I read this right? Sorry, my eyes glazed over. So is the Watchtower claiming that the 144,000 is both the Bride of Christ and Jehovah's Wife?
Thanks Randy for posting this!
Hapgood
on another thread, elsewhere said that he didn?t like going door to door, especially since he didn?t believe in what he preached.
i was a little surprised by his statement because i, on the other hand, did believe in what i preached.
i don?t think i would have been able to preach something i didn?t believe in.
I believed it all. When I found out it was a lie I stopped going out in service cold turkey. Didn't want to be responsible for someone inadvertently coming into this cult.
Hapgood
the person in question is my husband's mother who is a jw.
she is in her late 40s... has been a devout dub for 20 years or so, and has never to my knowledge had any spiritual "problems".
she exhibits every characteristic that the typical rank-and-file should have.
I think that Lady Lee hit the nail on the head
"I know in my case the psychosomatic illness that got worse on meetings days or before service had nothing to do with doubts about the org and everything to do with my belief that I hated my life and thought that I was not good enough."
I too suffered from real illnesses when I was a JW. I would have lower back pain that was so bad that I couldn't walk or sit. The only comfortable position was lying down. Sitting in the chairs at the Kingdom Hall would send my back into spasms so bad it would bring me to tears. I had (still do to degree) bowel problems. Headaches. I was constantly sick with colds or flu. It seemed I always had something wrong with me.
I too believed it was the truth, but I hated my life, I thought that I was never good enough and I believed that I would die at Armageddon. The mind is very powerful, all these negative feelings have to come out some way.
Since I stopped going to the Kingdom Hall two years ago I have pretty much been a picture of health. I haven't felt this good for years.
Hapgood
