Hello AlanF,
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your reply, and to also try and answer some of your questions. I realize that a lot of it does not seem real.
I can certainly relate with much of your concerns. You see, I was also under the impression that the abandonment or voluntary move scenario would have a strong bearing on the partner that left the family home. As a matter of fact, I knew of several situations in the past, where it most certainly did. I am sure that most will recall how Hollywood addressed that particular situation in "War of the Roses".
Unfortunately, in our ever-evolving modern society, the powers to be, are forever trying to be more and more politically correct regarding family breakups. I am not up to date on all the rules of family law in the US, but here in the Province that I reside in, it has changed drastically over the years. We now have, what they term as NO FAULT divorce. It does not matter what the reason is for wanting out of a union, the courts simply try and determine the assets, and equalize them 50/50. I came to the realization that it is much harder now to break a lease, than it is to breakup a family.
I will have to admit that part of my problems were self-inflicted. When this occurred, I was in quite a shock, to say the least. We may have had many problems in the marriage over the years, (mainly of a religious nature) but at that point, I still loved my wife. I voluntarily gave her a handsome amount as a support payment. Later, as it became clear that my ex, along with the loving elders, had decided differently, I was told by my lawyer that the courts would consider this as having the means to make such payments, therefore, it would be difficult to make changes.
You also make a valid point that by her moving out of the home, she could not enter uninvited. I thought this also. On that evening, I called the police and notified them of the break-in. They do not like to get involved in domestic disputes of this nature, therefore, after investigating for about a week, they called to inform me that my ex still had her name on the deed and they could not legally charge her. My lawyer did not turn out to be the sharpest tool in the shed either. The only reason that I used him was the fact that he was the only one that I could find that had already represented someone that involved the witnesses. In the other case, the man did get custody of the child, but in so doing, his small company had to declare bankruptcy. Please be sure of one thing; if the jw does not have sufficient funds to fight a custody battle, the society WILL financially support them until they exhaust your assets.
Regarding your statement that, normally, jws won't get involved with criminal activity, I must disagree. How many times have you heard about their escapades regarding medical records being copied, government assistance fraud, tax evasion etc. etc. I knew of a very long time adherent that thought that he was unjustifiably dismissed from his job and he brought a truck load of equipment (that belonged to his former employer) and stored it in my home. You must realize, having been a jw, that everything that wordly people have, will eventually be yours to keep. Some are admiring all of the huge homes in my area, imaging one day, after the GREAT day, they will reside in them.
Be aware of one thing. It was my ex's jw solicitor that said that it was ok for them to enter the home and take what was rightfully hers. I am sure that nobody had a problem with that. My lawyer did tell me that I could have taken civil action against everyone except my ex, but , after a cooling off period, I decided that everything could be replaced for less than the amount of money it would take in order to do this.
After all of the information that I gathered about the jws, I am convinced that, if the boys in Brooklyn, were to get everyone to bear arms, I would be heading for the hills. Jim Jones had nothing over them. Of course there would be exceptions, but I have no doubt that the majority would have no problem with that. Remember one of the watchtowers of the past practically stated that. They said that the only problem with KILLING your enemies was that it was against the law. How wonderful.
To this day, I cannot really answer your question as to why my wife wanted to leave. She has always maintained that religion had nothing to do with it. To this day, there is still no one else in both our lives. Her notes stated that she could no longer remain in the marriage. I would see that this was the best for both of us. However, with the fact that we spent so much on the custody of our child, (she never once mentioned the older children that chose to live with me) and on many telephone conversations, stating things like, she had to get away from her enemies, she had to save herself and the child, it does not take much intelligence to figure it out.
I have tried to answer your questions as best as I could. If you have any other thoughts, please share them.
68storm.
