gentleheart
JoinedPosts by gentleheart
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42
Bad Elder Stories
by shamus in.
what was the worst elder that you ever had to deal with?
i will post my story in a second...
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gentleheart
I would have to say the worst Elder I knew was not even quite an Elder when we met. I'll have to explain that one. I received an IM on AOL one day at work from someone requesting some information about real estate in my city as he saw "paralegal" on my AOL profile. The person requesting lived about an hour away, was male, and had a great sense of humor. We chatted back and forth, nothing truly out of the ordinary. After several days of this, he asked if he could call and chat with me on the telephone. During this time, I was an emotional wreck (mother just died, suffering the pain of isolation from my family due to DA, son had just moved back with his father, lots of stress at work, I needed something, but I just didn't know what). Something about him was so "different" from most of the non-JW men I had dated since my divorce and DA. He called and during the course of the telephone call, we clicked in such a way, it was almost eerie. I had been debating going back to the "organization" and the longer we talked, the more I got a strange sense that I knew him from somewhere and that he just MIGHT be a JW. Sure enough, after 5 hours on the telephone, he used a phrase that only a JW would use. I broke down crying and asked him point blank if he was a JW. He said yes, he was; and an Elder. Come to find out, he knew my family, etc., and it was such a feeling of "coming home" that I didn't think about the consequences of going back; I was hurting and depressed. The next day, he showed up at my office to take me to lunch (yes, ALONE!) Then, he waited until I got off work and took me to dinner (AGAIN ALONE!) When he brought me back to my home, he was definitely NOT acting Elderly. LOL If I had said the word, we would have had sex right then and there. I told him I wanted to reconcile with my father, my family, but I was very tentative about going back to the KH. He "took over" and more or less pestered the congregation whose territory I lived in to take action. Unfortunately, stupid me got involved with him. During the 6 months I was attending meetings, trying to figure out what I wanted, we were having sex several times a week, anywhere and everywhere, and he was sneaking over to see me several times a week. The closer the time came to my reinstatement, the stranger things got (canceling dates for Elder's meetings, etc.) Finally, a month after my reinstatement, he began the "I don't know what I want, but I love you" mode. I knew that mode from non-JW men I had dated, so I wasn't emotionally devastated over that, per se. The devastation came when I walked into the KH the last time and some mutual friends couldn't wait to tell me that he had JUST been re-appointed an Elder. To my surprise, he had stepped down during an ugly divorce several years prior (I knew about the divorce), and until he was re-appointed, he had no compunction about playing games with me. His father is a prominent Elder in his congregation, and he made a comment or two that it would take time for his family to accept me given the fact that I had DA'd myself. (EXCUSE ME! HIS father was DF'd for years for alcohol!) He's a thing of the past, I've not heard a word in over 2 years (and don't want to ever do so), but what little ability to trust I ever had in the organization died with him. I have seen so much since a child, but I never thought an ELDER (past, present or future) could possibly act in this way. Oh, BTW, he did tell me that he had "met" (nothing more.....) another woman off the internet. I guess my whole belief system crumbled after that, plus the fact that I didn't feel I had to prove myself to ANYONE to be accepted and I realized when I did go back how far I had grown away from the organization. Sorry for rambling, but..... once i got started typing.......
Gentle.....
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How Many Here Are DF'd, Disassociated Or Not Worried That They Might?
by minimus ini'm curious as to whether the majority of the board's disfellowshipped.
and i'm curious as to whether or not push came to shove, that you would not be overly distressed if you did wind up getting df'd........as time goes on, i am caring less.
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gentleheart
faded away in 93, DA'd in 94, stupidly went back in a moment of weakness in 2000 (the reinstatement was truly weird!), now faded away and they seem to have forgotten i exist.... thank goodness! as long as they don't bug me, i'm happy
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Kingdom Hall being sold to church
by tinman72 inok, maybe not a real scandal, but this really bugs the hell out of me!
in short, the kingdom hall i went to as child and teen, is being sold to a church.
my mother (still active) informed me of this.
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gentleheart
two separate KH's in my area are now churches.... and i can remember all the static as a child because someone THOUGHT my dad (in construction) was bidding on renovations to a church....
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Did You Know That You Could Be Disfellowshipped For French Kissing?
by minimus ina number of years ago, a body of elders discussed the matter of "french kissing".
they came to the conclusion that this practice of "french kissing" was a disfellowshipping offense on the grounds of "engaging in loose conduct".
one young couple were judicially reproved for their "sin" and the elders felt that since the matter was not widely known, that they would be "privately reproved".
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gentleheart
it's amazing that ANY kind of interaction is permitted... think of how much time you waste when you COULD be studying/going door to door/etc. etc. LOL
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What Happened To All Your Friends???
by minimus into become a witness, you must leave everything behind and associate only with jw's.
did you think that you really were going to only associate with jehovah's witnesses and no one else???
---------- after you left or got df'd, did you regain your past "worldly" friendships or were they forever lost?
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gentleheart
i saw this topic and found it fascinating.... even as a child, i was never one of the "group" of fellow JW's; my interests were always a bit different from the norm; when i got divorced, i found myself in "no woman's land" -- no JW friends and i had never been around non-JW's much either; it took me a while to get it all together and i DA'd myself for several years, which further isolated me in some ways, yet liberated me in others; after my mother's death, through a strange series of events, i "went back;" the old "friends" were terrified of me and i felt even more of an outcast than i was before; now, i was having to re-prove myself all over (thanks in part to my ex-husband's games and lies) and even after it was read out that i was back, i was still shunned and kept in a little cage away from the mainstream; unfortunately, when i went back, i also broke off ties with my newfound non-JW friends (stupid move); it's a very difficult road, especially for a woman; i was always something of a radical (much too independent for WBTS thinking) and still am; there are unusual difficulties for single women who have left, not the least of which are balancing getting on your feet and dating; if anyone has had similar experiences, i would love to hear from you; for a while, i did try some therapy, but discussing a "lifestyle" that someone else has never experienced is really difficult.....
thanks.....
Gentle
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55
Hi - I'm new here
by kaz inhello i'm kaz and i'm new here.. i was a jw for nearly thirty years, i felt like a "lame duck" when i left, but now i have got a life at last!.
i have only just got a computer, so please bear with me - i am learning to type too !!.
the lies going on, the definate lack of love, the treatment paedophiles and their victims, un.
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gentleheart
actually, i was hoping to find a chat somewhere with others who had left and how they handle some of the issues i still face... after my mother died (and all the nightmares that went along with that), i went back; now i'm dealing with an 80-something year old father whom i don't want to hurt, yet cannot go back again for fear of destroying what i've accomplished; it's a fine line i walk and sometimes it's almost overwhelming
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Hi - I'm new here
by kaz inhello i'm kaz and i'm new here.. i was a jw for nearly thirty years, i felt like a "lame duck" when i left, but now i have got a life at last!.
i have only just got a computer, so please bear with me - i am learning to type too !!.
the lies going on, the definate lack of love, the treatment paedophiles and their victims, un.
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gentleheart
i'm just a certified (or is that certifiable) smarta$$ (no wonder i've scared most of the "organization" since i was 14..... LOL
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Hi - I'm new here
by kaz inhello i'm kaz and i'm new here.. i was a jw for nearly thirty years, i felt like a "lame duck" when i left, but now i have got a life at last!.
i have only just got a computer, so please bear with me - i am learning to type too !!.
the lies going on, the definate lack of love, the treatment paedophiles and their victims, un.
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gentleheart
darn sixofnine.... i was hoping i did it correctly and my "elder ex-bf's" nude pics were showing up..... LOL
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55
Hi - I'm new here
by kaz inhello i'm kaz and i'm new here.. i was a jw for nearly thirty years, i felt like a "lame duck" when i left, but now i have got a life at last!.
i have only just got a computer, so please bear with me - i am learning to type too !!.
the lies going on, the definate lack of love, the treatment paedophiles and their victims, un.
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gentleheart
thanks sixofnine... i assume i'm posting correctly then??? (old hand at computers, new at chat) :)