I would have to say the worst Elder I knew was not even quite an Elder when we met. I'll have to explain that one. I received an IM on AOL one day at work from someone requesting some information about real estate in my city as he saw "paralegal" on my AOL profile. The person requesting lived about an hour away, was male, and had a great sense of humor. We chatted back and forth, nothing truly out of the ordinary. After several days of this, he asked if he could call and chat with me on the telephone. During this time, I was an emotional wreck (mother just died, suffering the pain of isolation from my family due to DA, son had just moved back with his father, lots of stress at work, I needed something, but I just didn't know what). Something about him was so "different" from most of the non-JW men I had dated since my divorce and DA. He called and during the course of the telephone call, we clicked in such a way, it was almost eerie. I had been debating going back to the "organization" and the longer we talked, the more I got a strange sense that I knew him from somewhere and that he just MIGHT be a JW. Sure enough, after 5 hours on the telephone, he used a phrase that only a JW would use. I broke down crying and asked him point blank if he was a JW. He said yes, he was; and an Elder. Come to find out, he knew my family, etc., and it was such a feeling of "coming home" that I didn't think about the consequences of going back; I was hurting and depressed. The next day, he showed up at my office to take me to lunch (yes, ALONE!) Then, he waited until I got off work and took me to dinner (AGAIN ALONE!) When he brought me back to my home, he was definitely NOT acting Elderly. LOL If I had said the word, we would have had sex right then and there. I told him I wanted to reconcile with my father, my family, but I was very tentative about going back to the KH. He "took over" and more or less pestered the congregation whose territory I lived in to take action. Unfortunately, stupid me got involved with him. During the 6 months I was attending meetings, trying to figure out what I wanted, we were having sex several times a week, anywhere and everywhere, and he was sneaking over to see me several times a week. The closer the time came to my reinstatement, the stranger things got (canceling dates for Elder's meetings, etc.) Finally, a month after my reinstatement, he began the "I don't know what I want, but I love you" mode. I knew that mode from non-JW men I had dated, so I wasn't emotionally devastated over that, per se. The devastation came when I walked into the KH the last time and some mutual friends couldn't wait to tell me that he had JUST been re-appointed an Elder. To my surprise, he had stepped down during an ugly divorce several years prior (I knew about the divorce), and until he was re-appointed, he had no compunction about playing games with me. His father is a prominent Elder in his congregation, and he made a comment or two that it would take time for his family to accept me given the fact that I had DA'd myself. (EXCUSE ME! HIS father was DF'd for years for alcohol!) He's a thing of the past, I've not heard a word in over 2 years (and don't want to ever do so), but what little ability to trust I ever had in the organization died with him. I have seen so much since a child, but I never thought an ELDER (past, present or future) could possibly act in this way. Oh, BTW, he did tell me that he had "met" (nothing more.....) another woman off the internet. I guess my whole belief system crumbled after that, plus the fact that I didn't feel I had to prove myself to ANYONE to be accepted and I realized when I did go back how far I had grown away from the organization. Sorry for rambling, but..... once i got started typing.......
Gentle.....