Posts by Freedomrules

Nina: I don't see a PM. And sixofnine, thanks for the great words. I need to do some research on this because I could swear that I read something similar to what you quoted.

As much as I am angry with my dad and hate what he did, he doesn't deserve the treatment he is getting.

17

How did this happen?? My Dad is DF'd. (long)

by Freedomrules in

jw
friends

i'm fairly new, so many of you don't know me.

i've spoken with some of you and i guess to understand my story i need to go back a little bit.

the bottom line is it feels like my family is falling apart.

Thanks for replying. I just feel so alone right now. My husband is back in the US (I go home in 2 weeks) and my parents are in the US, as are my sisters, and I just don't know what I'm going to walk in to when I get back home.

I just want to will it away. After I got off the phone with my Mom and then my Dad this morning I went in to the bathroom and threw up. I just can't take the stress.

17

How did this happen?? My Dad is DF'd. (long)

by Freedomrules in

jw
friends

i'm fairly new, so many of you don't know me.

i've spoken with some of you and i guess to understand my story i need to go back a little bit.

the bottom line is it feels like my family is falling apart.

Freedomrules

Hi:

I'm fairly new, so many of you don't know me. I've spoken with some of you and I guess to understand my story I need to go back a little bit. The bottom line is it feels like my family is falling apart. My father, who until yesterday was an elder, has been disfellowshipped.

My parents became Witnesses when I was four years old. I am the oldest of three girls. I was baptized in 1992 at the age of 15, following a lot of pressure from elements in my then congregation. Because of my fathers job we moved around a lot (overseas). Over time I came to the decision that this was not the "truth" and that I no longer wanted to be a JW so I started the slow fade, and have been fading for eight years. My parents and sisters are/were faithful, devoted witnesses, both of my sisters are regular pioneers and my father was an elder. Five years ago my father had to go away because of work for two years, although we saw him every six months. After that two years assignment my father and mother were back together and presumably everything was okay. Last week my father broke down in tears and told my Mom (over the phone) that while he was away for the two year assignment he had had an affair with a woman on and off over a one year period. According to him he never had sex with the woman but they showered together, slept together in the same bed and made out. He said he felt really guilty about it and didn't want to hurt my Mom which is why he didn't tell her earlier. Following this assignment (where he had the affair), when my parents were back living together he felt a tremendous amount of pressure from the elders and missionaries in his congregation (again, this is in an overseas country) to become an elder and although he says he didn't want to do it he served as an elder for three years before he finally told my Mom about what happened. My Mom is devastated, understandably. My father decided he had to talk to the elders about it (he's brand new in this congregation because he's just been transferred again) and despite knowing nothing about him, despite the fact that he is an emotional wreck, despite the fact that my mom and him are going to try and work things out, despite the fact that he prayed for forgiveness, the elders told him that they are going to announce his disfellowshipping in two weeks time.

This is where someone with more experience than me can come in. How in the hell can he be disfellowshipped if he's repentant? The elders claim that the fact he didn't fess up for 3 years and served as an elder in the meantime is the key reason why they are disfellowshipping him. But isn't disfellowshipping for people who aren't unrepentant? My father has done a lot of good in the 22 years that he's been a witness. While living in third world countries he's helped congregations buy land to build on, given employment to witnesses, etc. Does none of this matter? He made a monumentally huge mistake. No one is denying this, especially not him, and it will take me a while to get over this, but I am just in total shock that they would have decided to disfellowship him. I'm sure some of you out there will comment that at least he is free (etc), but in reality, despite the fact that I hated being a witness and that I have an intense dislike for the FDS/WTBTS, I really liked the fact that my parents were witnesses. I always knew what to expect, it offered continuity and stability in my life.

This is going to be monumentally catastrophic for my family. One of my sisters is married to a bethelite. They are both superwits, I don't know how they are going to take it. My other sister and I discussed this briefly. I know what my stand is. I think I know how the other sister is going to be. This is going to be horrible for my Mom. Now people can't come over to teh house, she won't get invited out much, I mean this is so * up. I'm so mad as a I write this, I apologize if I'm rambling, but I just don't know what to do or think. My dad is flying to see my Mom for the first time since he broke the news to her as I write this.

Lucia

57

The Society's worst release

by Nosferatu in

jw
friends

what, in your opinion, is the worst thing that the society has released?

(book / tract / video / audio cassette)

Freedomrules

I agree with every choice here, and I also concur that the Commentary on James was a pretty good book, in fact the only book I read that I enjoyed.

16

Trouble dealing with life as an ex-JW

by YellowLab in

jw
friends

i'm interested in finding out if anyone here who is an ex-dub has taken or still takes prescription anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication to deal with feelings of inadequacy and inexperience with life outside of the wts, relationship problems, stress/anger, low self-esteem, etc.. i still suffer with self-esteem/image problems as well as stress with life in general after leaving the wts.

i often feel alone and inexperienced when dealing with life's problems, and often find it difficult to handle conflict/disagreements with loved ones when they arise.

i feel these occurrences are a personal attack on myself.. i just started attending counseling to deal with these problems, and it was mentioned that an anti-depressant may help.

Freedomrules

I take Prozac for Panic Disorder, which I developed right around the time I left the org and I got married. I never actually pinned down my condition to leaving (although they say that extreme stress can trigger it) so I wouldn't be surprised if that's why I have the Panic Disorder. To tell you the truth, I initially felt really guilty about taking meds, like I was weak and couldn't control my own body, but after a while I reasoned that diabetics don't feel guilty for taking insulin, and people with high blood pressure don't feel guilty for taking blood pressure medication, so I wasn't going to let my taking prozac bother me. It has worked wonders, as long as I am on the medicine I have no symptoms of the Panic Disorder and I have had no side effects.

Just my story,

Freedomrules

5

Can anyone suggest a cool picture for my avatar?

by Freedomrules in

jw
friends

and what is an avatar?

Freedomrules

And what is an avatar?

2

For JW Bible Students And Those Wondering If It's "Really The Truth"?

by rainbow2003 in

jw
friends

although cbs, dateline nbc etc have also correctly documented the child molestation situation involving the watchtower society (wts) over jehovah's witnesses (jws), this, which is also shocking, is to even better inform the general public including medical personnel, jws themselves and persons studying bible subjects with them.

your sharing copies of this will can help save many lives even as others have already told us.

christmas: the wts teaches that christ was likely born about october 2, so why ignore that this means that he must have been conceived 9 months before, meaning in late december.

Freedomrules

Very informative. I printed it out and will use as reference during discussion with my parents.

Thanks!

FR

30

New to the board

by Michalea in

jw
friends

hello, just wanted to introduce myself.

was raised as one from about 4 to 16. mother jw and still in, father and 2 brothers never were.

just within the past 6 months or so realizing the effects of being raised jw has had on me.

Freedomrules

Welcome!!! Enjoy, this is a great group. And I love your name. It's my daugthers middle name.

Freedomrules