Posts by Hope

9

There Is Still Hope

by dobby in

recently i saw the two towers for the third time.

a line from the movie really struck me this time around.

it's spoken by arwen in talking to her father about the future of their world.

There Is Still Hope

by dobby in

recently i saw the two towers for the third time.

a line from the movie really struck me this time around.

it's spoken by arwen in talking to her father about the future of their world.

Dodgy Disassociation

by Rainmakerone in

hi guys

here's a little story: i have been purposely inactive for about 3 years, i just moved town and ceased all jw activities.

one day a few months back, two witness called and my girlfriend said i was an ex jw.

Hey, Rainmakerone! I'm new here too. Welcome! My parents have an old family friend who "by his actions disassociated himself", too. (Anyway, that's what he was told). I always thought you had to write a letter or something official to be disassociated. If the elders choose remove you from the cong., it is disfellowshipping.

I've been inactive for quite awhile, but I see one thing hasn't changed: elders can make up any new rules as they go along and the rules they have can be twisted around to suit any purpose they (the elders) choose. whatever. Look on the bright side: now they will leave you alone! you're Baaa-aa-aad! (he he he).

Hh

30

Introduction

by Hope_ful in

i have been "lurking" (my apologies to anyone who is irritated or offended by that) for some time now.

i was raised as a jw - i had the dubious honor of being a presiding overseer's daughter.

my little bro and i were perfect little dubs (or is it "duds" ?!

Hope_ful

Thanks for the warm welcome!

Gadget: yes, it was weird sitting through meetings knowing "the plan." You must understand we made our decision after a lot of conversations and weighing of pros and cons. We finally decided that we simply didn't agree with all the KH rules & regulations...some of the doctrine...and we certainly did not miss having to go to 5 meetings per week and going out from door to door. My side of the family was on the way out the door and fortunately very open-minded. They chose not to shun/disown us. My in-laws were and still are very involved in the organization. The decision we made was for our children. Was it right for us to sit through meetings under false pretenses and "tickle the ears" of the elders? I honestly don't know. Sometimes I think I was/am as hypocritcal as some at the KH. But then I can't help but think of the committee meeting of when I was disfellowshipped. An elder from a neighboring congregation was called in because of my dad's position in the cong. He didn't even know my name. The statement he made is one I will never forget. He told me, "I just want you to know we really care about you and are very concerned about your relationship with Jehovah...er, um... <speaking to one of the other elders: What is her name?>" I was very honest in that judicial meeting - I begged for help. I knew things were on a downhill slide for me. So I ended up with someone who cared so much about me he didn't even know my name and then another elder, midway through the meeting, laughed at me and said "We really got you now, don't we?" At this point I stopped caring. Sometimes I feel guilty about, well, let's face it, lying to the other set of elders in the reinstatment meeting, but other times I think "hey. I just played by their own rules."

Again, our decision was for our children. It is becoming difficult now because they hear one thing from us and another from their grandmother who tells them things like "if you don't go to the kingdom hall you will die." "If you celebrate birthdays you won't live forever." "Jehovah doesn't like people to have babies before they are married." (very very sore point as our oldest "did the math" and figured out he was born before we were married).

BTW, the meetings weren't so bad...we had a 2-yr old and a 3-yr old.....we spent a lot of time in the bathrooms and walking around the parking lot !

30

Introduction

by Hope_ful in

i have been "lurking" (my apologies to anyone who is irritated or offended by that) for some time now.

i was raised as a jw - i had the dubious honor of being a presiding overseer's daughter.

my little bro and i were perfect little dubs (or is it "duds" ?!

Hope_ful

Hello, all. I have been "lurking" (my apologies to anyone who is irritated or offended by that) for some time now. I was raised as a JW - I had the dubious honor of being a presiding overseer's daughter. My little bro and I were perfect little dubs (or is it "duds" ?! forgive me while I learn the language!). We hit the teen years head on...I was doing well in school - offered scholarships, etc...my dad did actually stick up for me and encourage me to go on to college. So, to keep everyone happy, I worked 30 hours a week, went to all meetings, auxiliary pioneered, had high school classes for half a day, and went to college classes on the nights there weren't KH meetings. As you probably guessed I burned out pretty quickly. The problem was, I started asking questions. Dad really encouraged thinking for oneself - questioning - research & study. (BTW, he is no longer in the organization. surprised? He even has a beard - gasp!) I don't want to ramble on and on, so to make a long story short, I hooked up with a loser, fooled around, and got disfellowshipped. I ended up in a very abusive relationship...until I finally left (ironically, the incident that led to me leaving was controversy over me attending the memorial - but I'll leave that for another time). I moved back to my home town. I quickly found out who my real friends were. A guy I had met at the hall (and REALLY liked) came around to check on me. My brother ended up moving in with me (and eventually got DF'ed too). My parents, while still going to meetings and stuff, let me cry and vent whenever I needed to. All in all, especially after reading some of your stories, I was very, very lucky. I didn't lose my family. The guy I mentioned earlier got DF'ed too, but it wasn't just because of associating with me. (Really! I didn't contaminate EVERYONE I came in contact with!) We moved in together and it wasn't long before I got pregnant. We chose not to get married at that time which wasn't very popular with the families. We still don't regret that decision. We had a beautiful son, who I truly believe kept us going and together. (We did finally get married & have been for 8 great years now). We moved out of this town because we really did get involved with bad association and we realized the only way to clean up was to leave. Meanwhile, we were getting a lot of flack from his mother (who is mega-brainwashed). She is on a suitcase full of medicine. Some of her illnesses I believe are real, but some I honestly feeled are "played". For our kids sake (we had a second son in the meantime), we decided to try to get reinstated. Family is very important to us, even if we don't agree with everything they think and do. So we went to meetings (I usually had a couple glasses of wine prior to leaving the house...it helped with the phony smile & such). As soon as we got reinstated we quit going. And we haven't been back since. (not very ethical...it was a planned thing...but it has served it's purpose as far as family goes. More hypocrisy as a I see it. We are not officially "DF'ed", so it's okay to talk to us) I was in my last semester at a community college when I found out I was pregnant again, we moved back "home" and have been doing quite well. The JW's tried to come around at first, but we just smiled ( I wouldn't let them in the house...I made them stand on the front porch and talk to me) and said "oh yeah, we'll come..one of these days...). They've left us alone for quite awhile.

I was playing on the internet a few months ago when I found this board. I've been reading off and on..when I have the time. Some of the comments I feel I could have written myself. Some made me laugh (SYN's essays are always hysterical...and I LOVED the KH Songs thread). Some made me sad...I'm so sorry for everyone who has "lost" their families because of this religion. I don't think I would have survived without mine and without my husband & sons (yes the 3rd was a boy, too). Some are above my head ( the dates 607...1914...). I just really don't know what I believe religion-wise right now. I'm completely disgusted with organized religion...my husband and I have no intentions of going to a church or KH ever again. Thanks for this board! It's great knowing I'm not the only one who feels this way about the borg. And actually being allowed to voice opinions!

Hope_ful

Posts by Hope_ful