Posts by Bruja-del-Sol

16

Sexting, thinking with my little head

by stillin in

i had no idea, having come from such a sheltered life, how tantalizing those little text messages could be.

i'm a married man.

my wife has pretty much decided that sex is not for her anymore.

Bruja-del-Sol

I've done what you're considering: I've left my husband for some horny messaging guy I met through the internet. Sex with my ex-husband was not good, I didn't like it. I'm also a three time abuse victim (lucky me... pffff), so sex will always be sort of a struggle for me. But this guy knew how to turn me on, where I thought that I was frigid he proved me wrong. So after a couple of months I left my then husband, got DF'd and in a couple of weeks I was living together with this oh so sexy guy...

And it turned out he wasn't that sexy after all. He was actually good in bed, but the rest of him was awful! He was rude, unkind, he lied, was looking for fights all the time, made me cry more in a year that I had cried in 15 years of marriage... so I was wrong! The only thing that was good about him was that he gave me the courage to leave my husband! I would've never felt strong enough to do that on my own. And even my ex-husband admits that if I hadn't left, he would have never done it. Not because our marriage was so good, but because of all the logical reasons: having two kids together, a mortgage, a business and a shared life for over a decade... But he thanked me years after our divorce for having the courage to go, 'cause he now knows we're both better off and even the kids say they are glad I did what I did.

But the guy I did it for.... it was a joke, really, nothing of real worth!

add: except for the text messages, I've been open and honest to my ex-husband. I never cheated on him, I had already left him when I had the first time sex with the other guy. And I promised my ex to tell him if I did, so he would be free to re-marry a nice sister (which I stupidly did and got DF'd for it, not knowing that within three months my ex would leave the JW's too!!! So after all it wasn't necessary for me to be DF'd after all, I could have faded if I wouldn't have been the pleaser to 'help my ex out'... My ex feels sorry for me now, I've lost everything but our kids because of this, and he went into the world, found him a nice young chick, started smoking cigars, had sex without being married, even let her move in with him, and married her a couple of years later and no JW ever gave a damn about what he did. The only advantage I had by being DF'd is that I knew instantly who were the people I could count on... the only one was my ex! I'm glad we're still friends).

3

PLEASE HELP!!! How come when I go to make a comment or...

by Newly Enlightened in

click on a members only topic, the 'sign in' page comes up and i"m already signed in??????.

i'm trying to get into the topic about the literature carts for a video we're doing.

kim.

Bruja-del-Sol

Happens to me too every now and then and I still haven't got a clue why this happens, so I'm curious to the response of someone who knows why/what this is...

40

New here, just wanted to say "Hello"

by Goldiver in

hello all, it is nice to have a forum for former jw's and see i wasn't the only one out there having serious doubts.

my parents got into it when i was about 4 years old.

my family was part of the granville ny congregation.. my dad in time became an elder.

Bruja-del-Sol

Welcome Goldiver, very nice to have you here! Sunny greetings from Spain.

9

I'm going to The Red Sea, 9th Jan.

by quellycatface in

jw
friends

i can't wait.it's the first holiday since i da'd.looking forward to see some sun, fishes and having a chill out.will keep up posting when i'm away.you're .

my friends now.i would miss you otherwise.xx.

Bruja-del-Sol

Have a wonderful trip and I'm already looking forward to whatever you're going to share with us when you're there!

18

I just binned all my meeting clothes.

by quellycatface in

jw
friends

a bit rash but very necessary.i never really liked them anyway..

Bruja-del-Sol

Yeah, I love cowboy boots (and hats!). And about high heels... I've just bought a pair of boots with a heel (not so high but higher than I've had for years). And they're really nice, look very feminine (at least a lot more than my sneakers do), but gosh... do they hurt! But hey, after years of flat shoes, sneakers and hiking shoes my hubby also likes to see every now and then that he's married to a woman hahaha. And in Spain women wear a lot more dresses and skirts, so I think I might buy some this summer... but only the ones I like, without giving one thought about what other people (like a JW congregation) will think of it.

18

I just binned all my meeting clothes.

by quellycatface in

jw
friends

a bit rash but very necessary.i never really liked them anyway..

Bruja-del-Sol

Haha, I couldn't stand the look of those clothes in my closet when I got DF'd, so I also got rid of them pretty soon after. My whole life I've had skirts and dresses, and they weren't the worst. The tights... THAT was awful! Three times a week getting your legs in those horrible tights and trying not to run them... aaaargh. Used to trash at least two tights a week. I really hated the whole dress up thing day after day... I'm usually a jeans and t-shirts kinda girl. So the first couple of years after I left, every tuesday, thursday and sunday I felt happy for not having to change clothes and having to go to the meeting!

10

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 01-05-2014 WT Study (VIGILANT PRAYER)

by blondie in

jw
friends

be vigilant with a view to prayers.

present-day christians face a similar challenge because the long night of satans wicked system of things is now at the darkest point in its history.

and how important is prayer with regard to my salvation?.

Bruja-del-Sol

The only one who tought me something about prayer was my grandmother who prayed with me before going to sleep. I can't recall my mother praying, think she's never done it in my presence (or at all, that's what I'm guessing). My father only said his mumbled 'keep-it-short-food's-getting-cold'-prayers before dinner. At least when he thought about it. Most of the time he didn't.

When I got baptized I was told that I had to 'dedicate' myself to god in a prayer, and that I needed to pray while I was being baptized. I didn't have a clue what was expected from me, so I never prayed a 'dedication'-prayer and by the time I got in the water, one hand on the wrist of the opposite arm and the other hand closing my nose, I never got as far as 'dear Jehovah'... and the whole thing was already done, baptized, out of the water, no time for a prayer DURING baptism. So I called that prayer off as well. I was 17 and although I could answer all the questions in the book, I didn't really have a clue what it was all about!

So looking back, my experience with prayer as a JW (and listening to prayers at assemblies, in the KH and visiting and having dinner with other JW's) is that their prayers are mostly very shallow without emotion, just meaningless blabla. And from the platform sometimes used as 'show off'... "listen to me, using such beautiful words, trying to impress you all"... YUK!

14

My little sister

by Nika Bee in

my little sister is 14 years younger than me.

she was always special to me, i took care of her, when my mother was working, i carried her around, i comforted her.

we are very similar in our interests for music and literature.. she is in secondary school, an unbaptised publisher.. since i study in the us, we only see each other about once a year.

Bruja-del-Sol

It's so sad to read this. My youngest sister got in touch with me when she was sixteen and I was already a couple of years DF'd. She didn't want the religion anymore, she was struggling with gay feelings and secretly celebrated her birthday with her schoolfriends in the shopping mall... I was happy that she confided in me, but I knew it could change overnight, which it did. I got angry with my parents about them trying to keep me away from my sister and wrote about it on my blog. All of a sudden I was bad, evil etc. Not long after that she decided to become a witness after all and did all she could to 'hook' an elder's son, in which she succeeded, and got baptized and married and is now playing the perfect JW-housewife, mother of two and from what I know she hates my guts. Haven't heard from her in a long time and actually I don't care anymore after the things she did to try to hurt and harm me on the internet.

With a lot of JW-born in teenagers it's soooo unpredictable which way they will turn. One moment they hate being a witness and before you know it they're baptized and hooked by the cult. Creepy and terribly sad.

In your case I would try what the others already suggested. Write her that you will love her unconditionally, that you will always be her loving sister and that there is no need to cut all ties.

39

After 44 years I finally found and spoke to my old prison buddy!

by Terry in

i have had very few mentors in my life.

i love each of them dearly.. one such was a man a bit older than me named tollie padget.. .

tollie was the rarest of rare birds.

Bruja-del-Sol

So sad... But on the other hand, have you tried him? You don't know, you just assume that he would shun you when he knows you're not longer a JW... Sometimes people do surprise us with actions we never had expected. Don't cut him off yourself, out of fear of being rejected! Prepare yourself, emotionally, but take your chances... who knows what will happen if you give it a shot???

Or am I being overly naive thinking this way?

Anyhow, here's a virtual hug for you...

12

Best way to make friends?

by Jen1 in

what is the best way to make freinds while fading.. i have no friends outside jws.

and if i tell a friendly jw how i feel, it would not be confidential.

i am thinking of joining a day time group, but what!

Bruja-del-Sol

Hi Jen, I recognize the feeling. Hobbies and things you like to do are a great starting point to find people that might end up becoming your friends.

I'm DF'd for over ten years now and have had a difficult time in finding friends and now I'm starting all over again in a new country, so I'm actually at the same point as you are right now. Questioning "where do I go? What shall I do?" So I've started with Spanish lessons two days ago and planning on being able to communicate with local people here within two months. Then it'll be a lot easier for me to connect with people and maybe I can ask our landlord for some help. He's a very nice guy and his wife is also lovely, we just cannot communicate with them yet. So the language is my first goal and then I'll go out and connect with others.