(((((((twizzle)))))))
I am so very sorry you are in this position. My heart breaks for you, because by the way you write, I can tell that you love him enough to let him go to follow his own heart. What a remarkable woman YOU are - many people could not be so selfless. I think it is smart of you to be looking at this religion with a "balanced eye", which is also a testament to your character. It appears to me as if you want to make sure you go into something that will affect the rest of your life knowing full well what your life would be like, and I understand your decision to choose between a love you fear you will never find again, and being true to yourself. I do not envy the position you are in.
Twizzle, most of the people who post here are ex-jw's or are people who have loved ones who are practicing jw's. I fall into the latter category. This site has been immensely helpful in help me to better understand the religion my mother and step-father practice. I think you will find the same thing here as well. It is so very hard for me not to "tell you what to do", so I won't. However, I will point out a few things for you to take into consideration.
Should you decide to become a JW, these men sitting at a "round table" and making decisions for all its members will be also making decisions for you. And if you don't do as they say, the consequences are severe. In fact, what you are going through right now is a consequence of what these men have told your boyfriend to do - stay away from you because you are a bad influence on him. You say you have a "good heart" and you know the difference between "right and wrong." Let me ask you this - being the good person you are, do you think it is right or fair of these men to tell your boyfriend to stop associating with you? Do you feel that you could just walk away from friends and even family who have good hearts and know the difference between right and wrong when it will be YOU who is told to do so? The reason they have their members shun others is not just to "keep their organization clean," but to control the actions of their members. They do not want their members to leave - even if they come across information that would show them that the JW's are not what they seem. By shunning others, they know that they themselves will be shunned if they ever decide to leave the religion in order to be true to themselves. This is emotional blackmail, and please forgive me for saying so, but your boyfriend is participating in it in regards to you, whether he realizes that is what he is doing, or not. However, I don't think he realizes the true reason that JW's do not want their members to leave the religion. Here's why.
Something to be aware of is that this "religion" is not just a religion. It is also a business. The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York was recently listed as one of the 50 most wealthy organizations in New York. How many churches do you know that enjoy that status? Churches are supposed to be non-profit entities. To put this in perspective, there are approximately 25 times as many Baptists in the US as there are JW's. Yet you do not see the Baptist church anywhere on any list of most wealthy companies. (This is not to say I support the Baptist church, I use this illustration to compare apples to apples.) Now, on the other hand, the Catholic church is yet another wealthy entity. Yet it is the Catholic church that the JW's criticize more than any other religion - and one of it's major criticisms of the Catholics is in regards to it's vast wealth. Who is calling the kettle black here?
Knowing that the WTBTS is also a business, and a wealthy one to boot, can you think of why they wouldn't want their members to leave? Let's take a look at the 'business" side of the WTBTS. They are a printing company. A printing company run entirely by "volunteer labor". A printing company that prints material specifically targeted to one particular section of the market. Jehovah's Witnesses and their recruits. The WTBTS makes money off the books and tracts they sell. If people leave their relilgion, then they are losing customers. Not only that, they are losing yet more "volunteer laborers" who "volunteer" to go "door to door" to sell their materials. They can't have that! So, in order to keep their losses as low as possible, they tell anyone who has loved ones who leave the organization to act as if they are dead - and they USE the name of religion to validate their reasoning. But the truth is, they employ this technique simply for business purposes. Why you do think the WTBTS is so wealthy? Because of all it's "volunteer" labor makes a big difference in their bottom line.
Twizzle, the reason JW's want their members to avoid those who do not believe as they believe, and to outright shun those who have discovered the REAL truth, is because they don't want their members exposed to anyone who can show these people the REAL truth. The JW's are afraid of you - and they are using your boyfriend to either make you go away, or bring you in the fold so you can be one of their "volunteer" laborers.
I am so very sorry you are in this position. It is so cruel for you to be treated this way. You have a difficult decision ahead of you. Just know that there are many in here who will support you - even if you decide to take the plunge and become a Witness for this man that you love.
Yours,
growedup
