Some great posts here. Some really good advice. And particularly the offer of help from you Sam (aka Kate Wild). Now that is what I call Christianity in action. You are some lady. Maybe apologies to all the ex-Christians on this forum, though not really as I am still an active Witness, elder, etc.) but I hope I acknowledge good sense when I see it.
thedog1
JoinedPosts by thedog1
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37
Help me...!
by OneDayillBeFree inlost my job, just a week before making the final arrangements to move into my very own apartment.. got a speeding ticket on the following sunday for trying to make it to the meeting "on time", (never made it to the hall, just parked in the back of a shopping center for 2 hours in silence).. marked by the elders for quitting pioneering, no more commenting and "failing to adhere to bible counsel".. jw family sees me as a disappointment.
non-jw family is too far away to care.. found out ex-girlfriend got df'ed and is now pregnant.
puts some of the blame on me for how things turned out.. realizing that she's not entirely wrong as i was still an ignorant, kiss-ass, die hard jwdub when we started dating, always putting the "kingdom interests first" never having time for her since "the end was so freaking close" and then warping her up in the mess of me learning ttatt.. dwelling night after night in "what could have been" if i had never been a jw.. alternating between being a theist, atheist and agnostic on a daily basis to the point where i don't care anymore yet getting creeped the f*ck out when facing my own mortality and the thought of me dying alone.. always coming to the same conclusion, when i find myself alone on friday nights and weekends, that i have no actual friends, only two conditional jw "friends" which are both currently out of town for about a month and 0 real, non-jw friends.. haven't been able to sleep well in literally weeks now.
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10
Happy Friday the 13th!
by wearewatchingyouman inanybody have any plans to chase black cats under ladders while breaking mirrors and spilling salt?.
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thedog1
sorry, dekatria!!
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10
Happy Friday the 13th!
by wearewatchingyouman inanybody have any plans to chase black cats under ladders while breaking mirrors and spilling salt?.
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thedog1
Wow, I love that paraskevidekatriaphobia. As all of us Greek scholars know, Paraskevi is Friday in Greek, and detatria is 13!!!!
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I gave up my job to pioneer, did you? Matt 6.33 did Jehovah provide?
by KateWild ini was a chemical analyst.
i loved my job, and love chemistry.
i worked in a variety of fields such a pharmaceutical and industrial.
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thedog1
Sam, as to your question as to whether i gave up a career for the kingdom, I have to say that I didn't. I have done so many different types of work over the years, none of which I really minded, so long as I could keep my head above water and provide for my wife and myself. Window cleaning, having my own business, and now teaching, which I enjoy immensely. I always had an interest in writing but never had the time to develop it. I have been trying to write a book, mostly personal experience of living in a foreign country for a number of years, but very slow process. That is one of the main things I did not pursue because I was very busy with congregational activities. The brother in the article does seem to be maybe acting out of self-interest if he hated his job. Now he seems to have found another then it has worked out ok for him, but to take a flyer and hope for the best with young children to support seems foolish. There is only myself and my wife in our family and even at that I would not just up and leave a job to pioneer in a blind faith sort of way. The scriptural obligation is for a man to take care of his wife and family, and providing he is not doing something unscriptural, then he should do his very best to support them financially. We are constantly encouraged to go and imitate the ant and his wise ways in preparing for the future in the book of Proverbs. We don't need to be over the top about it, just sensible to provide for unexpected twists and turns. Some bros I know have made foolish decisions and then sometimes expect the cong to provide for them. Personally we can of course do what we can, but an individual's own responsibility is still always there.
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I gave up my job to pioneer, did you? Matt 6.33 did Jehovah provide?
by KateWild ini was a chemical analyst.
i loved my job, and love chemistry.
i worked in a variety of fields such a pharmaceutical and industrial.
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thedog1
Always hated that quote 'those that can't do, teach.' Tell that to Tony Roache, very successful Australian tennis player who coached Ivan Lendl to huge success. Or Lendl hinself, also a successful player, six Grand Slam titles to his name, and the man some consider responsible as a coach for Andy Murray being the first Brit to win Wimbledon since Fred Perry in I think it was 1936? What is this with the 'can't do, so teach mantra?' If you can teach it you need to be very good at it, right? Or am I getting it wrong?
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I'm curious, when you were asked to do a demo for a Service Meeting part, how did the request make you feel?
by Stand for Pure Worship indid you decline out of fear?
decline because you hated doing demos?
accept the request graciously?
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thedog1
In our hall some bros play it safe and ask the usual suspects like elders' wives and pioneers to do them. I have tried to be more inclusive and use a variety of people, some appreciate it, others panic.
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Have you put on the "New Personality" ?
by Phizzy inwhen we were in we were often read that scripture and told we should work hard at putting on the new personality, which in wt speak meant their cult personality, nothing like the person of christ.. since leaving it has become necessary for us to make deep internal changes, to our worldview, to our emotions, and to our actions.. we have had to change from being controlled in all these areas by the wt cult, to forming our own new personality.. for born-ins like me this is really quite a task, we do not have a "pre-cult" personality to "recover".
but even for converts, there is stilll this work to do, before you joined you may have been racist, homophobic, or perhaps a thief, or immoral in some other way, surely you do not wish to "recover" those aspects of your original personality ?so you too have to "put on" a new one.. how are we all doing with this ?
i know that for me i feel it is still a work in progress, i need to work on certain things that are the result of my being in the jw/wt scam for all those decades, and some things that are a part of my natural personality which are not desireable as traits, laziness for example, and i am the arch-procrastinator, not good.. how do you guys feel you are doing since leaving ?.
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thedog1
By 'bible-based' I am not just using a cliche but showing what the bible suggests we do as Paul mentioned above.
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35
Have you put on the "New Personality" ?
by Phizzy inwhen we were in we were often read that scripture and told we should work hard at putting on the new personality, which in wt speak meant their cult personality, nothing like the person of christ.. since leaving it has become necessary for us to make deep internal changes, to our worldview, to our emotions, and to our actions.. we have had to change from being controlled in all these areas by the wt cult, to forming our own new personality.. for born-ins like me this is really quite a task, we do not have a "pre-cult" personality to "recover".
but even for converts, there is stilll this work to do, before you joined you may have been racist, homophobic, or perhaps a thief, or immoral in some other way, surely you do not wish to "recover" those aspects of your original personality ?so you too have to "put on" a new one.. how are we all doing with this ?
i know that for me i feel it is still a work in progress, i need to work on certain things that are the result of my being in the jw/wt scam for all those decades, and some things that are a part of my natural personality which are not desireable as traits, laziness for example, and i am the arch-procrastinator, not good.. how do you guys feel you are doing since leaving ?.
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thedog1
If you are looking for a bible-based answer to this then I suppose what the bible writer was getting at was this, as Paul said here,
(Ephesians 5:3-5) 3 Let fornication and uncleanness of every sort or greediness not even be mentioned among YOU, just as it befits holy people; 4 neither shameful conduct nor foolish talking nor obscene jesting, things which are not becoming, but rather the giving of thanks. 5 For YOU know this, recognizing it for yourselves, that no fornicator or unclean person or greedy person—which means being an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of the Christ and of God.
(Colossians 3:5-11) 5 Deaden, therefore, YOUR body members that are upon the earth as respects fornication, uncleanness, sexual appetite, hurtful desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of those things the wrath of God is coming. 7 In those very things YOU, too, once walked when YOU used to live in them. 8 But now really put them all away from YOU, wrath, anger, badness, abusive speech, and obscene talk out of YOUR mouth. 9 Do not be lying to one another. Strip off the old personality with its practices, 10 and clothe yourselves with the new [personality], which through accurate knowledge is being made new according to the image of the One who created it, 11 where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, foreigner, Scyth′i·an, slave, freeman, but Christ is all things and in all.
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Musings
by thedog1 inapropo of nothing, i just wanted to share some thoughts.
i have started reading and posting here recently.
i have previously mentioned that i am an active jw, an elder who conducts the wt study.
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thedog1
Thanks for that. I don't want to come across as self-pitying as I don't feel that way at all. I just want to find a way forward that will work. Others in the cong depend on me and look to me for guidance and strength. A bit tricky as I am not now totally convinced of the things I once believed completely. I am concentrating on just being there for my wife and others who need help, trying to help them as a fellow Christian in the way that Jesus recommended, trying to be loyal personally, without all the other must do's getting in the way, like ministry quotas, (unspoken quotas for non-pioneers but we know what they are), and the big expectations that are there on elders to be some kind of more than the average bro, as a shepherd etc. I know that this is part of the 'role' as an elder but then after a while you start to believe the publicity and just BEING a Christian falls by the wayside and you start to act out the 'role' of elder. Weird, isn't it, that Jesus wanted us to act like him, and if we only did just that then we could really be of help to others.
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Musings
by thedog1 inapropo of nothing, i just wanted to share some thoughts.
i have started reading and posting here recently.
i have previously mentioned that i am an active jw, an elder who conducts the wt study.
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thedog1
Apropo of nothing, I just wanted to share some thoughts. I have started reading and posting here recently. I have previously mentioned that I am an active JW, an elder who conducts the WT study. Today's study was quite an easy one on creation, nothing too controversial. But since I started reading and posting here, I have started to scan all upcoming WT study articles for things I might find problematic. The one last week on pioneering was a bit difficult, though I skated around the subject, even though the main thrust of it was, if you are not pioneering yet, why not? My wife pioneered for seven years and it nearly killed her. She is a very shy person, whose goal in life before she became a Witness was to become a hermit and live in the hills somewhere in blissful silence, with a few goats and sheep for company. Instead, she became a JW, and this set her on a path to depression and mental health issues. Maybe she would have had these anyway but her life as a Witness has caused her the most unbelievable pressure. I love my wife dearly and seeing the destruction of her personality in front of my eyes has been difficult. I too had psychological issues in my teens, but had resolved them on my own before I became a Witness. My parents had persuaded me to go to see a psychiatrist as they were so worried about me but I decided after two visits that I could work it out myself. Having done this did not stop me from becoming a Witness when I met somebody at work as his answers to life's questions seemed very logical. I have got to say here emphatically that the majority of my bros and sis in the Witness congregations are some of the nicest people you could ever meet. And I mean that. I have met many many Witnesses in the 32 years I have been a JW and the overwhelming majority have been honest, sincere and loving. I now live in a foreign country and the bros and sis here are again very nice. They have been so concerned about how my wife is doing in her recent difficulties, recommending doctors and offering to take her there if she does not want to go alone. But unfortunately the COE of the body of elders is ignoring the situation, and at the moment is trying to keep me doing some of the stuff I want to give up so as to concentrate on helping my wife. I am getting perilously close to the point of resigning as an elder as it is all getting a bit too much.