Lots of stories.
On the darker side, we had two suicides in our last hall (sure there were others along the way but mostly unaware) First my wife's brother in law (I guess he was mine too) was a real hardworking slob, had two jobs and a third when he could manage to feed and cloth his 5 children and one overweight domineering wife. Naturally the whole meeting and service thing went by the side. He shared a house with my wife's brother who never worked, basically lived off insurance scams and unemployment insurance. It was a racially mixed marriage and the father in law was never really accepting of him and he knew it. Well the FIL and MIL came over one evening to share their "grave concern" over the missed meetings, family and personal study and of course Field Service! The next night he drove to a lonely concession road, attached a hose to the tailpipe and ran it into the car through the window. He was found 3 days later.
Second suicide is of a woman who was molested as a child (very attractive woman even in her 40's/50's). Because of the issues she lapsed occasionally into heavy drinking and smoking. They Df'd here and she got some treatment for the booze and cigarettes. In the ensuing 4 years neither she or anyone in her believing in good standing family received a visit from the elders or where really included in anything socially. Although my wife and I kept in touch with the husband and son and always made it a habit to talk with them when they came to meetings we were probably no better in keeping up socially with them than anyone else. When his wife came back from rehab, she asked him to ask me what she needed to "come back to the trufe". I told them I would pass the request onto the PO and then I made him promise to see her ASAP due to his being new and the "oversite" of not having been visited in the past.
4 months later there was a shocker thru the congo. She swallowed a riffle one afternoon. I went to visit the distraught husband. He had already been visited by the PO. He was told they were sorry for his loss but since she was df'd there could be no congregation involvement in the funeral. since he had no dub relatives he would need to hire a non denominational clergyman to do the funeral. Imagine that was their suggestion. Anyway I found out later that week that no attempt was ever made before the suicide to visit this woman. Typical wouldn't you say?
By the way I was removed as a MS for simply attending the funeral.
On the lighter side we had an overweight, heavy drinking elder collapse and fall off the platform during a talk. 911 called and ambulance etc.
A friend of my wife in a nearby congregation lost her dress when she got up from the table after giving a number 3 talk in the main hall. Yup right down to her undies!
When I was a kid I remember this troublesome older boy who is now an elder somewhere in the San Francisco area. His name is Warren Bell, and was a real spoiled brat! He would turn off the mic's when certain bro's were commenting from the main sound control. Or he would turn off the portable wireless mic's when handing the it to certain bros to watch them squirm while giving a comment. We had a piano and "brother" who played most songs. He was kind of effeminate and most whispered that he was a fag etc. However occasionally he actually closed the meeting or had the announcements so we had to use the recorded music. Warren used to always play the wrong song just to F' this guy up royally. He was also notorious for going through people coat pockets for money and crushing hats during the meeting.
We had a guy take the wireless microphone into the washroom once. We didn't hear him peeing but we did hear him whistling. What a laugh!
There was a sister in my friends hall who would bring water bottles to the meeting because she was convinced Satan had poisoned her home water supply. She had about 100 cats as well. So I always get a laugh when the Simpson's have the cat lady on the show.
We had this Jamaican elder who was never qualified in the JW sense, but was a good yes man and patsy for the elder body. If you will, their "token" black. He would never be prepared to give his talks. He would get up and just wing it every single time. Many times he looked very surprised when he was announced as the next speaker. This guy was priceless. I am sure everyone has had this type of loser in their hall. One time when we had the assembly hilites he rambled on for 18 minutes, leaving me with two minutes to review Saturdays parts. It was embarrassing for him to say the least. I was up for exactly 2 minutes and was a gracious as possible and then introduced the next speaker. However many wondered after the meeting what assembly he had been at since nothing he reviewed could we recall from our attendance at the assembly. Hilarious!
In the DR we had a loony sister named Dulce. She was precious to say the least. One time she showed up to give a student talk and she had dyed her hair at the salon that day. It was burgundy red in color, but what was funny was the dye was still all around her forehead, cheeks and neck. She looked like something from the Rocky Horror picture show!
There was another sister who had a moustache. I tell you it was hard as hell to keep a straight face while talking to her or calling on her to comment at the WT study.
Many of the sisters would blow their nose in their dresses. It was disgusting!
I used to be friends with this guy who's father retired and somehow got into the circuit work. The father name is (Dave Gannon) was a tyrant and people were scared shit-less of this guy. However he was different with me because I was friends with his son. I always though he was a jerk for the absolutely stupid things he said to the congregation when he visited. Well one time he went on and on about how the young people have to make the truth their own, blah blah blah. He loved to parade his children in front of the congregation so he related that one night after "lights out" he noticed some light in his sons room, so he went in and demanded an answer, "what are you doing it is past lights out?". He was reading something under the covers by flashlight. Well the son said he was reading the prophecy of Daniel because he wanted to make sure he understood it! So this pompous ass CO rags to the congregation how proud he was of his son and all dubs kids should do as his son did. The truth you ask? Well being friends with the son, the real story was that he was actually wanking off to a Penthouse magazine he got earlier that day!
This same CO went on and on at meetings and assemblies how great his kids were. His daughter married and moved to Bolivia to pioneer. We never heard the end of it in the 3 years he tyrannized our circuit. All the while he would belittle anyone who used the Internet. He would make these comments about the devil Internet and people leaving their "mates" for strangers they met on the Internet. Guess what! The daughter in Bolivia got disillusioned with the JW religion and ran off with someone....you guessed it....who she met on the Internet.
Back to the dark side. During one CO visit in the DR, we went to see a young woman who was a parrapalegic. Tragic story of how this girl was hurt in an accident. She was the only one a JW in her family and could not make it to the meetings without a great deal of hardship. Most nights she was too ill to come even when a ride was available. What was the CO going to do to help out this poor soul? Well he was very conciliatory during the visit, and he even came across as compassionate! As we left he turned to me and said I should destroy her publisher record card and she was no longer a sister. (And no I did not do as he said) I swear these guys get their play book straight from the Nazi's and the Gestapo!
I could think up tons more.
Frank75