Knew an elder who was raping his kids... well, at least he was still an elder until one of his kids went to the police and he got arrested...
Posts by Odrade
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42Did U Ever Know Of An Elder That Committed A D'Fing Offense While An Elder?
by minimus ini used to go to strip clubs with another fellow elder when we would go out of town on "business".
i believe those lapdances could've gotten us removed.
don'tcha think?
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106
POLL: Would You Ever Consider Going Back To The Organization?
by minimus inyes, no or maybe....and why?
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Odrade
I think it's impossible to say unless we find ourselves facing a set of circumstances where our decision changes our lives irrevocably. I can say now that I can't think of any circumstances that would make me consider going back to the Organization. And it is quite a leap from considering to actually doing. But I can't presume to say that nothing will ever change, and that there would never be a reason where it would be in my best interests to return in some capacity. If you had asked this two weeks ago, I would have said unequivocally, NO, there is nothing that could make me consider going back. But after watching the discussion surrounding Gumby's choice to return, I thing it would be pure hubris on my part to say that I could account for every eventuality and still come up NO.
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GUMBERS NEEDS YOUR ADVISE.......
by Mary ini got a pm from gumby this morning.
as i predicted, he's being love-bombed by the congregation and invited out everywhere.
part of this is because he was very popular before and is a very likeable guy, but part of it is to try and suck him back in so thoroughly, he'll never be able to escape.
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Odrade
The real question is whether or not he LIKES these people who are giving him the invites. (Outside of the whacko dub dogma that is.) If so, he's fighting a battle on two fronts: Trying to be in for his family that he loves, and trying to be out, in spite of friends that he also cares for.
I think many (most?) of us left the organization from the position of being unpopular or excluded. There are a few here who were perhaps wildly popular, and if they went back would be welcomed with open arms. For them, the rules are different, and it appears likely that Gumby is one of those people.
No matter what he does, he will always be "on the radar" because he is not just "well-liked" but one of those brothers who are extremely popular, makes-every-get-together-better guys. The ones who make other people smile just from being in the room are not forgotten. Ever. C'mon, think about it.
He came on this site, after 5 years of being a prominent EX-jw, and out of the blue, (for some of us,) announced that he was going back to do the fade. He has been met with almost unconditional support for his choice. This is because we truly love him, isn't it? Can you imagine if a well-known but less popular poster suddenly announced they were returning to the WT? That person would receive a very mixed bag of responses. In fact, I've seen it happen that way... some saying "we support what you need to do" and others saying "what the hell is wrong with you? stupid fool." But look back through these threads about Gumby's return... By and large, all compassionate, caring, teasing, but SUPPORTIVE comments.
Can you expect that it will be any different in the congregation where you are known and loved face-to-face? No matter what excuses you makes you will be invitee numero uno for a long time. No matter if you attend one meeting a month, no matter if you never give another talk, no matter if you never knock on a single door. People love you and want you there, in spite of not meeting the numbers. Your only shield from that was being df'd, and I suspect that Gumby had plenty of people circumvent the rules to chat briefly with you, or smile at you, while you were df'd.
I remember people like this when I was a JW. So universally liked that it didn't matter if they were absent at every meeting but memorial. They were still invited to every gathering... year in and year out. Even if they turn down most of the invitations, you can be sure that when the next one comes around, you'll be invited. They'll give the invite to Mrs. Gumby, and put the pressure on her. It's how it works. Low risk to the inviter... you're not there personally to tell them no. It will be hardest on Mrs. gumby. (In fact, she may find it more difficult to have you around as a "fader" than it was when you were df'd.)
Personally, I don't believe you will be able to "fade" in the truest sense of the word. By going back for family, you will have to accept that the whole congregation comes with the family. Unless you completely change your personality, you are "in for a penny, in for a pound" like Gill said. That being said, I also suspect it will be easier for you to stuff your hatred for the Organization and just go through the motions, than it was for you to deal with the loss of kids/grandkids. It's truly a case of choosing the lesser of the two evils.
I don't have any advice regarding getting out of going to the meetings. You just don't go. Your wife will have to endure the questions "where is gumby, we love him and miss him!" at every single meetingthat you miss. That is the price SHE pays for your return. You will have to tough out getting invited to every social gathering from here to armageddon. That is the price you pay... being social and sucking it up when they preach at you or "encourage" you. I don't really see any good way to get out of it.
As far as the other "Theocratic" activities, you need to embrace a tangent that runs just enough parallel and away from WT doctrine so that the elders don't want you on the stage or out in service, but won't tell you so. Instead they'll breathe a sigh of relief when you opt out. I don't know what that would be. Maybe you could get together with Ona and develop a doctrinal "thing" that is not apostate, but not acceptable.
If you really do like these people for themselves, I don't see a way out of socializing with them. You're going to have to suck it up and lose the gag reflex for all things WT. There is no way to "just" get reinstated for family when you're popular. I truly believe that it only has a chance of working if a person is single, or at least doesn't have another JW in the family. You've walked back into the hornet's nest. Now you have to be one of the hornets.
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A Letter from a disfellowshipped JW
by reneeisorym inthere was a disfellowshipped jw that came to the witness now for jesus convention in pennsylvania.
we all tried to show him the error of the jw way but he is just so blinded that he couldn't understand what the problem is with jws (can you believe it?!
) we tried until we were blue in the face and it seemed that with every step we went forward with him one day, we went back two the next.
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Odrade
HAHA! What a nut job. I liked the little postscript about "certain sexual practices." LMAO!!!
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I hate my mother, that Jehovah created.
by vomit ini believe i grew up a good son, for 10 years i stayed in a religion that i did not agree with.
the day my mother got cancer something died with in me.
i didn't feel sorry for her i felt sorry for me.
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Odrade
I agree so much with what you wrote. I hate the woman that "Jehovah" turned my mother into. I love my mother, but in many ways, that woman who showed up in my life when I was a toddler is not my mother.
She also suffers from severe health problems which she will only do enough to endure, since if she just waits long enough, Jehovah will fix it for her. She insists that I can't stand her, and in some respects she is right, since the JW "her" is inextricably tied with the real her... the mother who rode me around on her bicycle all the time just to hear me giggle, who read me Dr. Seuss because I loved it, though she didn't. Then she converted and she became a different person. The sad thing is, I don't even remember that lady, I just have her in old movies and photo albums. All I have is the fanatical JW who put meetings, studying her WT, and field service above laughing with her children.
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Do you tend to think that many things "go without saying"? I do...
by Paisley inafter an eye-opening conversation with an old acquaintance yesterday, someone i don't know well but thought i had some clue about .
we've all heard it said "i'm not a mind reader you know, speak up!
i didn't know you felt that way.
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Odrade
My dad is a good man and I love him. It makes me sad that his sense of loyalty and "right" keeps him in slavery to an organization like the WT.
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15
Do you tend to think that many things "go without saying"? I do...
by Paisley inafter an eye-opening conversation with an old acquaintance yesterday, someone i don't know well but thought i had some clue about .
we've all heard it said "i'm not a mind reader you know, speak up!
i didn't know you felt that way.
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Odrade
Wouldn't have mattered in our family as we were not allowed to approach and/or interrupt Dad when he was talking with another brother. But it also wouldn't have happened. We used to stand just out of earshot and wait for him to pause the conversation and ask what we needed. He always did within a minute or two. As for leaving us sitting in the car, he would have handed mom the keys and said "go on home," then caught a ride or walked home (1.5 miles) when he was finished. It happened lots of times.
So, yes, it goes without saying. It was terribly inconsiderate.
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35
My congo is being DELETED next month!
by MinisterAmos inoh noez how will we survive?!?!.
more details later, but it's a case of a congo that split not growing and the congo it split from losing 50% of its publishers in two years.. i'm tickled pink!.
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Odrade
Thats NOTHING, in our area we had an entire weekend convention at the Tacoma Dome deleted last summer. . .who knows how many publishers that represents. Western Washington had worked its way up to 3 weekends at the TAcoma dome (home of the Tacoma Dome Parking Scandal a few years ago) and last year there was only 2!Wahooo!!! God is rewarding us with George Strait at the end of this month!:)
Not technically true. The third (and 4th?) conventions were held at Memorial Coliseum in Portland last year. In the past 15 years or so, all of the NW Oregon congregations have been assigned to Tacoma.
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BIG ELDERS MEETING ON THE BLOOD ISSUE! SHOCKING CHANGES AFOOT!?
by Gill ini have just been informed that something is going in with the blood issue within the borg.. a large meeting is being held this weekend with local elders and also many elders from all over the country/the united kingdom and members from the bethel and hospital liason committee to discuss the blood issue.. is anyone else aware of what this is going to be about?.
i wondered whether this would be part of the expected or possible changes that the organization is expected to announce this year that might lose them many members.
any elders here know anything?.
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Odrade
I do know to a certainty. I just don't want to put it out on the board for general consumption, especially as it did NOT end up being the article used, and also I have no way to confirm it. Suffice to say, she is quite well connected at Bethel.
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BIG ELDERS MEETING ON THE BLOOD ISSUE! SHOCKING CHANGES AFOOT!?
by Gill ini have just been informed that something is going in with the blood issue within the borg.. a large meeting is being held this weekend with local elders and also many elders from all over the country/the united kingdom and members from the bethel and hospital liason committee to discuss the blood issue.. is anyone else aware of what this is going to be about?.
i wondered whether this would be part of the expected or possible changes that the organization is expected to announce this year that might lose them many members.
any elders here know anything?.
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Odrade
otherwise, they are just learning to explain it in such a way that the flock thinks they get it.....
I agree 100% with this analysis. I had occasion last year to see a rough draft of some materials that were meant to "sort out this blood mess." The multipage article written was very articulate, and explained clearly, (though with a JW slant) how they were defining the breakdown of "fractions." It was complete with an additional 4 page spread of full color illustrations and diagrams that looked like it came out of at least a H.S. level biology textbook. (This whole draft was researched and written by a woman, btw.)
When the new articles on Blood and fractions came out this year, I figured it was her article and research. Imagine my surprise when nearly a month later I received scans of this magazine and it was the same old drivel, reworded. Disgusting. I really thing that at least the article I saw would have given many people the green light to accept fractions (including hemoglobin substitutes,) but what they actually printed really made very little change. Just more legalistic maneuverings and meanderings.