GUMBERS NEEDS YOUR ADVISE.......

by Mary 86 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Mary

  I got a PM from Gumby this morning. As I predicted, he's being love-bombed by the congregation and invited out everywhere. Part of this is because he was very popular before and is a very likeable guy, but part of it is to try and suck him back in so thoroughly, he'll never be able to escape. He's already turned down two invites, but he's still socializing with the Dubs far more than what he wants to. I gave him a couple of excuses he can use like "I'm tired" or say that his back is really hurting (he really does have major problems with his back so this is a legitamite excuse).

  But I think it's good that he gets more ideas and suggestions than just mine and I suggested a thread on here to see what you guys had to say. He's a bit apprehensive about posting too much right now and so I asked him if he would like me to do the thread on his behalf and he said 'yes'.

  So! What viable excuses can he use to get out of socializing with the congregation? He does not want to be rude as it's not in his nature and he realizes that he can't say 'No' to everyone for the time being. Any ideas or suggestions are more than welcome.
• 

  Emma

  I can't even begin to imagine being in his position. I guess there's a lot of the flu going around... Hell, I'd be sick from the socializing that's been going on already.
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  Gill

  I reckon that Gumby should just accept the invitations, have a good time and come back here for the antidote and to vent when he gets back......if he can!

  In for a penny, in for a pound! In the end, he's gone back to please his family and they're not going to be too impressed with him if he keeps refusing 'spiritual association'!

  Keep a notebook of what happens, and one day.....when the WTBTS finally crumbles, he could write a book about his JW experiences!
• 

  kwintestal

  He should grow a beard. People will get the idea and he can't be DF'd for it.

  Kwin
• 

  Clam

  Poor old Gumby. I agree with Gill. He has to take the rough with the smooth. His family are the smooth, the Congo is the rough. He can't just keep making excuses or the whole exercise will be exposed for what it is . . . Gumborging.

  Gumby's gotta party party and go enjoy himself. Slip some Absinth into their fruit punch or something

  Lightheartedness aside, my heart goes out to the poor fellah.

  Clam
• 

  Mary

  Gill said: In the end, he's gone back to please his family and they're not going to be too impressed with him if he keeps refusing 'spiritual association'!

  His family has known all along that he plans on Fading, so this isn't going to be any huge shock for them. He just needs some ideas on how to keep it bareable.
• 

  Gill

  Mary - Much, much sympathy to Gumby and his predicament, but a fade is a fade. He's only just gone back so......any 'partying' is only temporary. I assume the fade has to be over a couple of years so he's not got to despair yet. This is the hard part.....the fading comes in time, so there is light at the end of the tunnel for him.

  Chin up, Gumby. Just 'play nice' with the other kids for now and in time you get to leave school!
• 

  drew sagan

  I don't know all about what's going on with Gumby, but I'm guessing he has gone back to be in touch with family (?).
  
  I say just be friendly to the JWs, but rude when it comes to their invites. Don't even give excuses, just tell it like it is. I say he plays the 'depressed' card and just says he doesn't feel like doning any of that crap. After a while JWs tend to get pretty aggrivated if you don't take to their affection and will leave you alone. He will end up not being liked that much, but since he keeps friendly nobody can really hate him. So he just becomes a grumpy guy that people aviod.
• 

  Crumpet

  I'm quite surprised actually. When I was DFed i was consider bad association and was not even allowed to go on the ministry except with an elderly mature sister. I was told that I should expect this for many many months - it was one of the reasons I got myself DFed again within a couple of weeks. I think he should count himself lucky - chances are as soon as the elders get wind of it they will speak to those kind brothers and sisters and he will find the invites will dry up in no time. In fact the best way to get rid of the invites is to plan a biggish party inviting lots of dubs - the elders will clamp down on that in no time and people will be too scared to invite him to anything given the clamping.
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  kerj2leev

  Mary - Much, much sympathy to Gumby and his predicament, but a fade is a fade. He's only just gone back so......any 'partying' is only temporary. I assume the fade has to be over a couple of years so he's not got to despair yet. This is the hard part.....the fading comes in time, so there is light at the end of the tunnel for him.

  Couldn't agree more, its just a matter of time, before they get the point. What I hate about "love bombs", is you can smell them from a mile away!