Odrade

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Posts by Odrade

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  51

  therapist says affairs can help some/my marriage....really...

  by oompa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well that took me back a bit...but since i have led a double life since third grade...i have become the master of compartmentalizing...and since my exit and since it is now not just to my parents (as a youth)...but now having to do it to my hardcore jw wife....well...it just gets frikkin easier and easier...i now think i am becoming capable of stuff i would have never dreamed of...this is scary.... i have decided i can afford it financially though i dread this at 47, since this is the second time i would lose half my assets....crap...and my wife is a wonderful lady!...hot even!...but i so want to grow and be totally free...damm the costs are so high...why cant i be content with a non-nagging jw wife?????.

  oh...and basically it seems that if certain needs (not just sex!

  ) need to be met...and your mate will never know...than it can help your marriage continue with no bad side effects???

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  Odrade

  oompa, people who cheat do not respect themselves. It has little to do with your wife, your marriage or how much your wife puts out or nags about "reaching out." A therapist who tells you to cheat is an idiot. If you respected yourself, if you thought you deserved to have a good life and a spouse who loved you more than her church memes, there would be no question of cheating, only the question of how do you change OR leave your present situation. If you don't respect yourself enough to be with a woman who treats you with respect, how on earth do you think you'll be able to pick a mistress who respects you?

  If you don't respect yourself, at least behave as though you respect yourself. Do the right thing, either respect your family and your promises, or tell her you are through, and get out. Don't two-time your own promises.
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  4

  Hurlbut, ebay and WT plagiarism

  by Odrade in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  last week i picked up an old book on ebay called "hurlbut's story of the bible.

  " it's an illustrated "bible" that is arranged by stories, with pictures.

  many of them have morals to be learned, some tie in "foreshadowing" of new testament events.

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  Odrade

  Last week I picked up an old book on ebay called "Hurlbut's Story of the Bible." It's an illustrated "bible" that is arranged by stories, with pictures. Many of them have morals to be learned, some tie in "foreshadowing" of New Testament events. It's an interesting piece of religious literature, published in 1904. It is still in print today, I'm not sure if the illustrations are the same or have been updated.

  What is most striking to me is that so many of the illustrations in this book are the same, or very nearly so, as the ones that appear all throughout WT literature. Granted, it has been several years since I cracked a book, probably at least 5 years since I leafed through a bible story book, but I'm seeing a lot of images I feel are very familiar. (I was going to look it up myself for comparison, but it appears I have thrown out my B.S. book. lol)

  Eh. If I get some time I'll scan a few of the images and post 'em up. Does anyone else have this book, and can you confirm the similarities I think I'm seeing? Or does anyone know if there are scans of the WT bible story book illustrations out there on the intarwebs?

  Curiosity.
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  280

  Should women be allowed to have 14 kids without job?

  by sammielee24 in

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  Odrade

  Sadly, supporting reproductive freedom means situations like this can happen. If we say this woman is not allowed to reproduce, we are selectively denying choice - reproductive freedom.

  However, even though the woman has a legal right to control her own womb, commonsense should have said that she would be unable to find a medical provider willing to perform the service. Unfortunately, IMO the doctor who performed the procedure is every bit as culpable as this (likely) mentally ill woman.
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  38

  Is this generation just setting themselves up for disappointment with Obama!

  by free2beme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have heard people call obama their "lord and savior" and act like having him in office is going to solve everything for the world.

  i honest believe, a lot of people have extremely high hopes for this man.

  some deserved, as he promised and others imposed as they are desperate.

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  Odrade

  The only people I've heard referring to Obama as "Lord and Savior," "Messiah," or "Magic," are Republicans claiming that Dems are saying that. I have yet to hear any liberals of my acquaintance using terminology like this. I agree that people have high hopes for Obama, but considering the last 8 years, I think "high hopes" translates to "please help get the country back on track."
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  5

  The Meditation Room (Memories of a Friendship)

  by Euphemism in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  (warning: self-indulgent rambling ahead... i decided to write this for my own sake this afternoon, and i figured i might as well share it.).

  i was a loner in college.

  partly this was due to my religioni couldnt develop close friendships with classmates, since non-jehovahs witnesses were considered bad associationand partly to my lack of social skills, which made me a bit of a misfit even with my co-religionists.

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  Odrade

  nostalgic. miss you guys.

  oh and the hackers are poopyheads.
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  6

  Brig. Gen. David Irvine: What Jack Bauer Has Not Done

  by SixofNine in

  1. jw
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  brig.

  gen. david irvine: what jack bauer has not done google_ad_section_end .

  google_ad_section_start what jack bauer has not done.

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  Odrade

  hear hear. I can't sit through the "24" propaganda.
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  14

  Most parents would be proud...

  by Odrade in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  about a year ago, he had an emotional crisis and questioned a lot of things, including his faith.

  i thought (and hoped) that he would consider his beliefs and come realize that his beliefs were part of his crisis.

  this was not the case, but he and i continue to be on good terms.

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  Odrade

  True, LDH. This is somewhat comforting to know that my situation is not unique. I also have friends who have no context with the JWs, other than hearing about my past. It's gratifying when they tell me that I'm not overreacting, and the behavior is not normal. If anything, I suspect I am underreacting. Indifference is often easier.

  Frank75, I suppose I do use the "squelch" button. But they don't challenge me often. I do not take a retiring position when they do start preaching to me. I have a "look," I guess. Ha! When they start preaching, I have a tendency to look right at their eyes, and not respond. It's probably a bit unsettling. Plus I have told my mother and brother on several occasions that if they really want to know what I think, all they have to do is ask, and I will share what I have learned. I think they are afraid if they preach me up, I will tell them what I know.

  Mrs Fiorino, thanks! Yes, I am proud of myself that I lead a very normal life now. I've had new acquaintances tell me that, when the subject of religion comes up and I share my background, they never would have guessed that I was a former eschatologist.

  Vinny, what a horrible thing for her son to turn against her. They claim they don't break up families, and yet it is they who take the action. I don't see how they can continue to reconcile that contradiction, and yet they not only justify it, but embrace it as some sort of honor badge. I'm sure he is getting lots of praise and back-patting for his coldness. My mother certainly does.

  John Doe, I'm not sure what you mean, but I have a notion that a very interesting discussion lurks under that cryptic remark.

  musky, this is true, of course. But there is no room for that in the organization. The irony is I think my parents blame themselves for allowing me such freedom in my reading material. Yeah, there were a few books banned from our house, but not many... mainly because my parents were not readers, and as long as I stuck to "classics," it was okay. Classics can teach you a lot, including how to think. I'm just sorry it took me so long to put that skill to use. ;)

  It's good to have an outlet though. I know there are hundreds of people here who have been through similar experiences and feelings.
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  24

  WT on "Help those who stray from the flock"? - friends sent us an email

  by truthseeker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  today was the first of the two parter series on browbeating the inactive to get back to the meetings.. my other half who has been inactive for a short while received an email from a "friend" who's still in, acknowledging it's been a while since they last made contact and could they stop by to see how we're doing?.

  the moment of truth - friends who ignore you and make no effort to contact you when you leave suddenly get a guilt trip over an article in the watchtower.. anyone else here had their door bell rung, received a phone call or email from a "concerned" friend due to this study article, or is it still early days?.

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  Odrade

  might explain the comments my brother made to me Saturday afternoon. (They have meeting on Saturday.)
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  16

  They are killing her.

  by desib77 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  wow it has been such a long time since i've posted here.

  i've for the most part been able to move on with life leaving the jws behind me.. but now i am being forced to deal with them again.

  my mom (jw) has been sick and discovered that she has a mass in her throat (lower part in her chest) that is making it hard for her to breath.

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  Odrade

  Agree with cameo. There is a balance of power issue with misuse of authority. This elder needs to be informed (preferably through legal counsel,) that he needs to keep his trap shut or charges will be brought against him for practicing medicine without a license and for coercion. I'm disgusted but not surprised. My mom is/would be the same way.
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  14

  Most parents would be proud...

  by Odrade in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  about a year ago, he had an emotional crisis and questioned a lot of things, including his faith.

  i thought (and hoped) that he would consider his beliefs and come realize that his beliefs were part of his crisis.

  this was not the case, but he and i continue to be on good terms.

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  Odrade

  Farkel, I don't think it was you eating pizza with me yesterday, but you'd be welcome to join us.

  Ditto to you, ex-nj!

  Baba, unfortunately, I do NOT have a "great relationship" with my Dad. I have a very sad and strained relationship with him. But I know he loves me, and he tries to show it as well as he can through his conditioning, and deep down (unlike my mother,) I think he is proud of me, except that it would be wrong, so he has to stuff that down. That has to be enough, I suppose, where they are concerned. Most days I've achieved indifference, but yeah, some days it hurts.

  shop, I have utterly no delusions of being "pleasantly surprised" regarding my mother. She is as fanatical and devoid of a normal worldview as they come. She "replaced" me many years ago with other "daughters" my age... even before I quit the JWs, she had her "spiritual daughters" - women who were at Bethel, or pioneering, or special pioneering, and who have only ever heard her "sweet voice" and who have no idea just how unswervingly and exclusively devoted she is to her Watchtower. Some of these women (and even their husbands) call her "mom" and their children call her "grandma."

  recovering, thanks for the pm. Small favors, my upbringing was nowhere near that level.