Perry if jesus wasn't available, in the way you perceive him would you still be part of the cult?
Remember the cult is also an interpretation of jesus(in part ) would you agree therefore they are misguided/ delusioned ?
Your own interpretation is no more than a symptom of the same thing.
I do however understand your commitment to your belief but consider the many many millions that believe in christ
that you would disagree with. Your reasoning only works for you because you need it for a purpose.
That purpose of course may not even exist except in the workings of your consciousness.
I personally feel a different approach could give you a more realistic existence.
Best wishes to you