by Michelle5480 45 Replies latest jw friends
Cordelia, you have put the finger on it. Michelle, right now you are between a rock and a hard place. Is your goal reinstatement or freedom? Both ways will bring you out of your current isolation, each with their own set of consequences. You'll have to weigh the balance.
This discussion board is a great place for those of us in limbo.
There are books that can help. I read The Road Less Traveled, by F. Scott Peck, and Combatting Cult Mind Control, by Steven Hassan.
They helped me to get through some of the stages, much like going through a death grief process. It helps to learn you are not alone.
Welcome to our world.
Marilyn (Mulan)
Just get some rest. You've, probably, been going like a energizer bunny to the meetings and out in field service. You have got to learn how to relax. In time, you'll make new friends. It's a hard place, but it's a good place too. Think of the things that you were never allowed to do while in the truth. Find the ones that you thought were acceptable and do it!
Hi Michelle,
Welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place to make friends, many on here have been in your position. I am happy for you that you have a boyfriend who is untainted by the watchtower.
It may take time, but rest assured, you will make new friends outside the borg, and not conditional ones like those in the congregation, who abandon you the moment you stray from the wt.
All the best
dedpoet
Welcome Michelle,
You said:
I followed the guideline of not having friends outside the organization I now find myself completely aloneand you also said:
The only person I really have is my boyfriend who has been really understanding even though he's not a JW
Unless I misread you, it seems pretty obvious your main problem is you are a walking contradiction, which often leads to feeling confused, frustrated and lonely.
Perhaps you need to spend more quit time alone and get to know yourself well enough to be cognizant of whether you are coming or going...and then be true to that; whatever it is. You need some clarity, dear.
j
Michelle,
Welcome to the board. If you are anything like I was, you'll be quickly addicted to this board. It's a great place to learn and make friends. I've been here for over 4 years and have actually made tons of new friends, even met in person in my city. I also caught up with some friends of my parents from years ago. So pull up a chair and stick around. This board has a tons of amazing people!
Love,
Andi
(((((Michelle)))))
Sorry to hear of your lonelyness. Are planning on going back? Why are avoiding non-witnesses when you have a boyfriend who is not a witness?
I know it's tough. After I left the first time, I worked to get re-instated. I finally got out the second time for good!
There are many hear who have an ear for you whenever you need one... or a hundred.
Bryan
{{{Michelle}}}
I've finally reached out to workmates, letting myself actually be an honest friend to them instead of using them strategically while planning for a guerilla witness. They've been great. Online groups like this one are also good, especially if you can find a couple people you really connect with and can exchange phone numbers or make friends close enough near where you live to actually meet.
If you're still interested in the Bible, finding Bible study groups near you or exploring local churches are also another avenue to improving your social and spiritual situation.
All the best!
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling like that Michelle. Loneliness is one of the most awful feelings.
MsMcducket offers some good advice. You have a lot of time on your hands now so enjoy it. Do you have any interests? Like art/craft, writing, sport? Could you join a local club or group and particpate and expand your interest in these activites? It would be a great way to meet people with similar interests.
Welcome to the board and please stay around. This can be a very supportive online community.
Miss Peaches
Get involved with other people...Do you work out at a gym? Don't hold back on asking a girlfriend out to lunch!!! I presume you work...pick out someone that seems friendly and don't be afraid to ask them to go to a movie, out to eat, etc. Don't get discouraged, it may take a few times of asking someone to join you before they do. You have to replace your witness friends with others. The faster you do it the better it will be for you emotionally. Prepare a little about subjects that you are interested in, like world events, movies, etc. so that you won't be at a loss for conversation.
Even though I was raised a Witness, I always had friends at school, work, etc. I worked out frequently and met quite a few nice people at the gym. Sometimes after our workout we'd go next door for a glass of wine or grab a sandwich together. I also had to entertain people due the business that I was in, so I had associates outside the KH. I feel sorry for people who never had that...get going though, you've got plenty of time now!
Swalker
