Michelle -
Welcome!! I was the no-friends-outside-the-org. type, too, and I'm in the same situation... I have no friends who are not JWs. The people here are great, so stick around!
GGG
Feeling sooo isolated.....
by Michelle5480 45 Replies latest jw friends
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dezpbem
Hello Michelle,
I think most ex-jw's i've known have problems making new friends so your not alone. Since we start off with this problem it's important not to be passive with it. In other words if you wait for friends to come to you you won't have many when you have this as a difficulty. You have to be aggressive with this one and make new friendships happen. The ex-jw's i've known who don't do this usually stay lonely.
I don't know if you live in a busy city or slow town. If you live in or near a city try going to an evening class on topics, crafts, hobbies, or sports you have an interest in. Make it a point to introduce yourself to everyone there. It's helpful to go where people are at that you share interests with.
A few important points from the opposite side of the coin.
Many ex-jw's have an odd habit of pushing people away. Watch for this reaction in yourself when making new friends. If not kept in check it will destroy new relationships. The 1st is a tendency to find something wrong with someone, focus on what's wrong, then "df" them. The judgement reasoning we were taught kicks in here and looks to find flaws with the people you meet. The trouble id
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dezpbem
Whoops!
Sorry about that! I hit a key by accident that some how posted my post multiple times before I sent it.
How did I do that? Anyone know? I don't want to make that mistake again.
Is there a way to erase all those multiple posts? I'll finish my reply after I find a way to fix this.
Sorry again.
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Lady Lee
I am working on deleting all but the first one (and your last)
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Lady Lee
Ok I have deleted 33 posts. Make sure that you remember that they were deleted and one day you don't think we are running around deleting your posts
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dezpbem
Thanks Lady Lee. Sorry for that. I'll continue where I left off. Many ex-jw's have an odd habit of pushing people away. Watch for this reaction in yourself when making new friends. If not kept in check it will destroy new relationships. The 1st is a tendency to find something wrong with someone, focus on what's wrong, then "df" them. The judgement reasoning we were taught kicks in here and looks to find flaws with the people you meet. The trouble is That if your mind looks for flaws it will find them since everyone has them. Find them and you focus on them. Focus on them and you will judge the person by them. Judge the person by them and you'll "df" them. "Df'ing" potential mew friends is a big problem for many of us ex-witnesses. The next is a habbit of keeping people at a safe distance. We tend to make friendships then keep them from getting too close. Watch for that one. If you have this pattern you'll swear there's something wrong with nearly everyone and find excuses to push them away. There are more. But if you watch for these and control them you'll find your ahead of the game earlier on than most of us. We tend to have an arsenal of methods to stop friendships from forming but little awareness that were doing it. Dez