by Michelle5480 45 Replies latest jw friends
Hi there, this is such a big change for you in your life. You will be okay as long as you follow your heart, whether to stay in or come out of the organization. For the first time in your life you can chose what you truly want to do.
All the best to you, and don't be hard on yourself. Just take baby steps.
joanne
Welcome Michelle
I can so relate to your lonliness and isolation. My name, Soledad, means just that in Portuguese--isolation
I live by one simple rule: do one thing different, everyday.
Make a new friend online and then make plans to meet in person, or join a local association, such as the YMCA or a community group and meet new people there
Also, if you have a job, ask one of your coworkers out to lunch or for dinner after work
As time goes on, you will start to build up a network of friends and associates who you can rely on for support and help when you need
Of course we are here for you as well! Most of us here have experienced the difficulty in living as a JW and then adjusting to "the world."
It is a long process, but one that can be overcome with positive results
It might be a good idea to seek counseling.
On this forum you won't feel alone.
Play that Roy Orberson song "Your not alone... your NOT ALONE, YOUR NOT ALONE... ANYMORE WHOOOOO HOOOOO........ " {song finishes}
I am not trying to annoy you, I just think it's a very suitable song! :)
I know how you feel, my husband has a group of friends that he has been friends with from when he was at school. I wasn't allowed to associate with "worldly people" and all my "friends" from the hall don't talk to me so I don't have friends from my childhood either. But You can make new friends (it is a bit harder then being five and walking up to someone and saying hi you are my new best friend) but you can do it.
I know exactly how you feel. But here I go.
HI !! My name is Horrible Life, and I want you to be my best friend.
But You can make new friends (it is a bit harder then being five and walking up to someone and saying hi you are my new best friend) but you can do it.
Don't hold back on asking a girlfriend out to lunch!!!
If you are buying, I really, really, like Subway. HL
Now see, that wasn't hard. I have tried it before, It's really easy. Others have done it to me. When I first moved here, after a divorce, I didn't know anybody. Within a week, I had 2 really good friends. That was 25 years ago. They are still really good friends. One of them, our daughters have been best friends since birth, and now lives 3 doors down.
Relax, it will happen. And they will be real friends.
Almost Atheist said it better than I could:
And the best part is that if you ever decide you don't like their favorite flavor of ice cream, favorite episode of "Seinfeld", or even favorite church, THEY'LL STILL LIKE YOU!
I know exactly how you feel Michelle. I left the JW's about 3 years ago and have recently moved to a completely different area. So there was no one i knew at all. But as time goes on, I have made friends so im sure you will be there soon. Its good you have an understanding boyfriend too. My girlfriend (she's now my wife) has always been understanding and willing to listen.
You may feel at the bottom, but that also means the only way is now up!
Good luck
PaulJ
There are wonderful people out there in the real world.
I have just had five days away with people that I would have considered the "Sons of Satan' in my JW days.
They are really nice people, not a christian amongst them, but all better 'christians' that the self proclaimed 'True Christians' that I was brought up by, (and with).
Your first mission should be to make new 'worldly' friends.
Here is what I got up to with my horrible nasty worldly friends last weekend.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/100288/1.ashx
Cheers
Chris
Welcome Michelle
All the above comments are very good and written by people who have experienced the pain of leaving the WT. Leaving does leave a hole in your life. My advice is to not fight it, ignore or avoid it.
Stare into that hole with courage, peace and dignity. Work each day to put one more building block into place. Build a newer better life. There will be pain but don't dwell on it - all change causes some discomfort. This can take many years and there will be times when you miss the security and comfort you found among the Witnesses.
In time you find that there is no room for the WT mindset in your life and you will then be truly free. Then you will have grown and realized the true purpose of your brief time on earth and know that it couldn't have been any other way except the way you have chosen.
Michelle - welcome.
You don't state your age - and that matters somewhat. Wifey and I left at nearly 50 years old, after a lifetime in the borg. So our way of making new freinds has been different prob than what a young person does.
Your post indicates to me you are young. And to be honest I have not seen many young people that have a hard time making friends. Lots of places to meet people in that age group - the gym, clubs, even left over semi-friends from school perhaps.
I go to the local coffee shop where I have made a few friends in my age bracket. It is slow going for an old geezer like me.
Bottom line is: ain't freedom from the lies and lovelessness great?
Stick around - good advise and good company here.
Jeff
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
Everyone has made me feel so much better...
Its only been about 7 mths since I completely left. Doing things differently is the hardest part. Im so used to ignoring people for fear that they might actually want to be my friend and then having to tell them Im a JW and cant associate with them. Now I strike up conversations with everyone. I work in a hospital in Chicago so I have ample opportunity to be friendly and have good conversations. Im pregnant right now so when Im off of work duty I plan to go join prenatal yoga classes and aqua classes and just trying to find ways to find new friends.
Im happy I found this board....to Horrible Life if your ever in Chicago, I love Subway and always happy to buy . Same goes for anyone else in the Chicago land area.
Lots of love and big hugs for everyone, feel free to email me or PM me.
