We have found it quite difficult to handle the contrast between the 5 meetings a week with all the association and then NOTHING. Like others we dont want to "Get involved" with any other group or religion to meet people. Dont really want the commitment or control that it could entail.
Anglise,
It is difficult to go from complete dedication (5 meetings a week) to nothing, however there are other ways to "get involved" without religion. I actually stumbled on to something when we left that really helped. I was looking for work and happened to see an ad for a job that entailed helping brain damaged and people with Downs Syndrome, etc. find work in the community. I had no idea how much really helping people would help heal my own heart. For once I was really helping people that needed help, without handing them a couple of magazines and moving on. I was making a difference. The result was quite unexpected because I went into the job to make money, but I came out of it with a different thought process. It started me on the road to healing. It didn't magically change everything and I still struggled with hurt feelings, but it did start the process that allowed me to heal.
Although I eventually moved on from this job (the pay was horrible and I couldn't afford to stay), I realized that as bad as I felt after the JW betrayal, there were people who had it much worse. I don't mean to sound trite. The pain of leaving the Borg is very real and excrutiating, but every day I would see people that had a very difficult time functioning in a society that is not very forgiving when you don't fit the mold of a "normal" person. It was very cathartic to help others in a way that really meant something. Although I do not do this for work anymore, I try to find ways to help in the community I live in. Sometimes it is as simple as helping my elderly neighbors. There is nothing like helping others in your neighborhood to help you plug back into life.
I think sometimes we all forget how much influence the WTBTS had in connection with being part of the community. It was frowned down upon if we spent time doing anything but peddling the WT and Awake. The Borg always said it was OK to help people, just as long as it did not take away from the preaching activity, or the meetings. And, of course, it was strongly "encouraged" to help within the congregation first. Well after attending meetings all week, and then going out in service on the weekend, it did not leave much time for helping anyone else, never mind people outside of the "Organization". I think it taught us to be selfish and inclusive. So when you leave, you really have to fight the inclination to be internal. It is hard to break out of that shell, but it does work to reach out to others that deserve it.
Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble so much, and my intent was not to preach. It's just that when I open certain doors things come flooding back to me. I think that hardest part of my leaving was the very issue of how to feel normal again and how to start trusting again. All of the issues that have been raised on this thread are very real, very painful, and will take time to heal. But healing will occur.
Warmest Regards,
exjdub