pray to tetragod, and experience something you never have before... (page 9)

Scully

I humbly offer this goat on my hibachi

A goat on a hibachi, eh? What say you, tetragod? I daresay that's the best offer you're going to get since Ross spilled the beans about your resplendent pubic rashes.

Billygoat

Oh mighty Tetragod, I humbly offer this goat on my hibachi in hopes of currying your favor.

There will be NOOO goat sacrificing around here!!!

Harumph.

*stomps off*

your tetragod locked his keys in his car at the freaking dog park this evening. so he had to borrow another persons cell phone, a xian surely, and call his xian wife to come pick him up with her keys. but he had to wait for 2 hours, while he, and oliver the atheist dog, did about 20 laps around the dog park. we own the park now. no one disses us while we're there. we renamed it god park.

okay, onto the prayers stacking up here.

janet from little rock arkansas writes in...

heh heh, just kidding. ya, so i updated my ecommerce software. now i can answer all prayers in a single thread, and still get paid.

okay, prayers.

daystar my master of holy orgies,

Ah tetragod, you have forgotten the face of your father. The Equinox of the Gods is nigh, and you shall be merely one amongst many.

ye speak the plain and simple truth dear daystar. i was never any better than other gods. why should i bother? there are so many.

tetragod,

$27;

GBL my lord of dark depths and minions and vaporizers,

thank you for the tetra-melody. it rang a bell, and then i threw up in my mouth. in there, you know?

thou shalt the price by suffering a month among my hareem!

And now for the things that I want:
Mystical apostate painting for my living room
2 tabs of LSD
2 pills of Ecstacy
Tattoo abstract including a tetragrammaton and pentagram
Through the merits of your son Christ Jesus, amen.

you speak with wisdom my lord of darkness. tetragod finds your wishes most acceptable to his will. and may his will be done! may i, tetragod, obtain the first three for you. and may i deliver them in a timely fashion.

the fourth one is most interesting. and based on the fact that i know you will be getting it. praise! i grant your prayer fulfilled! amen.

and may the vaporizer parties continue at your place until time indefinate, yes, even forever. amen.

tetragod

$28;

forsharry my lovely siren of the deep blue sea and ravager of vessels and men ,

may the days of your dustructive and delectable rule never be cut short.

Oh Great and Mighty Tetragod,
I pray thee, please assuage my doubt as to whether or not there are other, non-tetralike-gods out there.
I don't think that there is, but I do so enjoy you argue atheism. It pleases me.

may i continue to please you in the ways that you see fit. to argue atheism for the lovely siren of the deep, is to drink of the fountain of youth.

indeed there are no other gods as tetragod. and may my rule continue on into the days of my children, though no children i plan on having. amen, praise my epicurian and nihilistic ways of pleasure!

from the scripture of woody allen:

"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank."

tetragod

$29;

hampstergod, god among hamsters of ever expanding cheek pouches,

I thought your blasphemy important, then I realised it said you is impotent.
Shucks! Just as I was wrapping myself in sticky tape so I wouldn't split open.
Seriously the dark cheekpouches of suffering await all who blaspheme Hamstergod.

the myth of impotence was spread by apostates to the way of the tetragod. namely those who have over active dopamine reactors, but think they're pals with jesus. may they learn the value of sin, and sin many times before their god jesus, as he parties with satan and tetragod and we watch buddha and vishnu mud wrestle. praise!

and may the vessels in your cheek pouches never burst apart, as you fill them with the nuts of men. LMAO! oh, tetragod is SO funny! he he...

tetragod

$30;

scully my eyeball scratching jezebel of the nurse station,

And you still have to find me first.

oh, i get it. you're one of these women that want to be "found". oh okay then, let me "find" you. (starts making his way from hostpital to hospital, from kenora to st.john, with a loud speaker saying: " OH SCULLY! WHERE ARE YOU! COME 'N GETTIT!"). yup. and then we'll have dinner, and i'll show you my doctor's note, and you can play the part of mary magdalene, and i will play the part of doubting thomas. he he he...

We can be friends though.

what's with the tongue then? ;) tetragod $that one was for you, wonderful you...;

cygnus my fellow god of rock and roll and sex and drugs and after parties,

May I take this opportunity to voice my allegiance to the tetragod. May he bless me as he sees fit. Amen and amen, yea verily!

tetragod is touched, in a godly way, by your allegiance. may our ways continue rocking the free world, and may the light ever get brighter.

however, i want to say something to you:

"seen a shooting star tonight, and i thought of you. you're trying to break into another world, a world i never knew. i always kinda wondered if you ever made it through. i saw a shooting star tonight, and i thought of you." - bob dylan

"to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waiving free." - bob dylan

" a good day ain't got no rain. a bad day is lying in bed thinking of all the things that could have been." - paul simon

tetragod

$31;

ross my nessie riding arab strap,

That's the joy of being omnipotent!

ooh hoo! if you say so! hoo hoo, aah ahh ahh, hoo hoo hah!

tetragod

$32;

bigdog my son and first creation,

Oh mighty Tetragod, I humbly offer this goat on my hibachi in hopes of currying your favor. Please, please, please don't let USC win the national championship, bestow your bountiful blessings my beloved Ohio State Buckeyes instead.

yay, you have curried my favour, and curried my flavour. praise! the smell of burning goat fleah is pleasing to this omnivor god of tetras!

i grant your request for the buckeyes to kick some snob ass. and may they continue kicking ass as long as you offer the flesh of goats. and long shall your days be, until i serve the kool-aid. amen!

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon." - Woody Allen

tetragod

$33; billygoat my winsome venus of paragons,

There will be NOOO goat sacrificing around here!!!
Harumph.
*stomps off*

i am sorry my lovely, but you are 247 goats too late, for big dog has been sacrificing a goat on the hibachi for nigh on many months now.

but, there is an opening in my harem. please submit your resume. salary is consumerate with experience, but just between you and i, i think you'll get the job.

praise the answerer of prayers!

tetragod

$34;

Scully

what's with the tongue then? ;)

to inflame you with passion, but of course!

silly tetragod... tsk tsk tsk.... must I spell it out for you? so much for your omniscience... ... and Ross says that your omnipotence is questionable at best... all that's left is omnipresence.... and <looks around> *sigh*... damn... what the hell kind of "god" are you anyway?

btw, if you *do* manage to find me, I'll make dinner.

Billygoat

i am sorry my lovely, but you are 247 goats too late, for big dog has been sacrificing a goat on the hibachi for nigh on many months now.

I knew I didn't like him. Damn slobbery, flea-ridden, hair-shedding, poop-eating canine. You can never trust 'em.

tetrapod.sapien

damn... what the hell kind of "god" are you anyway?

the kind your mom told you to stay away from. LOL

tetragod

$38;

Scully

damn... what the hell kind of "god" are you anyway?

the kind your mom told you to stay away from. LOL

In that case, I'll PM you with my phone number.

chrissy

dear tetragod,

is it really true that you gotta sin to be saved?

and if so...what are some good ones the other kids are committing these days?

sincerely,
searching in seattle.

tetrapod.sapien

chrissy my prima donna inamorata of all golden calfs and writings on walls,

Bonsoir, ma belle. Pourrais-je vous offrir a boire? Est-ce qu'on t'as deja dit que tu ressembles vachement a "vision in the night"? ...how you say?

is it really true that you gotta sin to be saved?

yes, i am afraid so. i know it's a tall order. many people struggle with aspect, as it goes against our nature as humans.

and if so...what are some good ones the other kids are committing these days?

sincerely,

searching in seattle.

and she searched no more, and she became as a god, indeed a goddess! amen! praise the tetragod of answered prayers!

many disciples have made pilgramige to calgary alberta, where they were taught the ways of the tetragod. and they learned to embrace their laziness, and heathenism and their epicurianism and timothy learyism. and yay, they did learn how to sin, to time immemorial, and even forever. i recommend this for you. and may our bowls never burn out, and may we shoot propane bottles while drinking jim beam and wearing clown makeup. amen.

and listen and hear! tetragod did open the seal of secrets, and it did say: "42". praise! and he went on to share the deep deep love he had cultivated for himself, and to share it with all the other gods. and the shrines of baal were nothing in comparision. and they said: "it is good...shit man. amen god-dude". and all laughed, and lived happily ever after, and listened to tom waits all night, and and watched tetragod make a fool of himself, until the FBI came a knocking at the compund door. LOL. and tetragod did say: "free cable television for everyone, amen! let us go to the mall and start buying many things so that the FBI will leave us alone!"

and she did learn from the tetragod, and she did have many munchies, and she came to like tom waits, and she wore an afro wig with her blonde locks flowing out from underneath, and she did find happiness. praise and amen.

tetragod

$another free one;

theinfamousone

i want u to get me laid at least 40 times before christmas...

the infamous one

p.s. i dont really need ur help, i just wanted to talk to u...

pray to tetragod, and experience something you never have before...

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