New here.

by On the Fence 33 Replies latest jw experiences

  • On the Fence
    On the Fence

    Hello everyone. This is my first time posting, although I've read for a while. I've been a (bad example of) a witness now for about 15 years. In all those 15 years, I did not at any time have a good friend within the congo. I even changed congos a couple of time hoping that I might find some friends in the organization. Maybe the reason I didn't ever make any good friends is because I didn't go to every single meeting, every single week. I work and have health problems that limit my energy. That's why I say I'm a bad example of a witness. Even though I didn't have any friends (other than worldly, and I wasn't about to give them up), I still felt it was "The Truth" and continued to go to some of the meetings. looking back, I realize now that the entire time I was involved with the organization, I wasn't happy. I did have a sense of well being because of my spiritual beliefs but other than that I was basically miserable. Then, when I became ill and spent some time in a hospital, not one person from the congo came to visit or even called. I couldn't believe it. Friends of my worldly friends, who I barely knew called and were more concerned than anyone in the congo. Talk about a bad witness!! Well, I started drifting away from the organization after that. I just don't see how the self-righteous people at the congo can call themselves "good" when they seem so uncaring. I guess for me it's a bit easier to walk away since I didn't really make any good friends. It's not easy spiritually, though. What have you all done for spiritual fulfillment once you left? I still want to please God and live a good life. I still carry the guilt of not going to a meeting. Thanks for listening, On The Fence.

  • Legolas
    Legolas

    Welcome to the board!

    I look forward to reading more of your posts!

  • Marvin Shilmer
    Marvin Shilmer

    Hello, On the Fence

    You write:

    “I just don't see how the self-righteous people at the congo can call themselves "good" when they seem so uncaring.”

    Most of them are just too wiped out from all the organized activity and have barely sufficient time to take care of their own personal needs. Unfortunately another sad side of the coin is that were the WTS to suddenly inform publishers to count time spent calling on discouraged or sickly congregation members that those in your situation would be covered up with congregational callers! This testimony demonstrates how too many JWs are about making themselves look good rather than just plain ole goodness for goodness sake.

    Be honest. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love yourself, too. This is where good is found.

    Marvin Shilmer

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge
    I still want to please God and live a good life

    So, live a 'good' life - and thereby please God. Keep it simple, like the example that Jesus gave.... Love God and love your neighbors, on that hang all of the laws. btw.... WELCOME !!!!

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    I WELCOME you most heartily, and would do so more completely (and try to address your question) if my daughter wasn't tugging me towards the door so we can go enjoy our first walk in the first snow of the year. Hope to see you around here later

    ~Merry

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist
    I still carry the guilt of not going to a meeting.

    Welcome to the forum! JW's use guilt as their primary -- if not only -- tool in keeping the members active and loyal. You can see from what you've discovered about the Watchtower that it has no authority over you, so can comfortably drop the guilt. When you do, it's a WONDERFUL feeling. I haven't been to a meeting in over a year, and I still revel in the joy of knowing there's one going on and I'm not there! MMMmmmm....

    As far as your spiritual path from here? The field's wide open. The churches aren't all wrong, controlled by Satan, etc, like the Watchtower fed us all that time. In truth, they contain normal people, living normal lives, and worshipping the god of the Bible. Allow yourself to experience them for yourself.

    And of course there are many diverse faiths on this forum to check out.

    Take care,

    Dave

  • On the Fence
    On the Fence

    Thanks for your reply. After re-reading my post, I need to correct myself. I don't think the people in the organization are not "good", I think they're brainwashed. There are many good people within the organization, they're just misguided, IMHO. Why else would people allow their children to die if they need a blood transfusion. That is one aspect of the religion I didn't ever fully agree with.

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    Welcome OnTheFence,

    From your painful experience you may have gathered that true friendships and your spiritual path are pretty independent from each other. That's true in so-called "real" and "virtual" life. We can disagree with people yet enjoy what they are.

    Hang in there.

  • PoppyR
    PoppyR

    Welcome! I'm fairly new myself, and the guilt is something I'm quickly getting over, you'll find as you study more and realise how you've been misled, it turns into joy.. tonight as I knew my cong were studying the same old dusty stuff at the service meeting I was laying in bed reading while my hubby watched the cricket.. I have so much more time and for the first time in years I have picked up the bible because I wanted to. When it becomes clear to you that the Witnesses are not Gods organisation you will no longer feel guilty for not going. Be clear, it is a mind control trick that works well on millions of intelligent people, but you are one step ahead, keep walking! And good to see you here, keep reading and keep posting!

    Poppy xx

  • On the Fence
    On the Fence

    Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. I look forward to many interesting discussions here. By the way, does anyone know how to get a picture, etc. to show up? I loaded one, as it instructed, but it won't show up.

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