by DanTheMan 41 Replies latest jw friends
Well, if he does pull away from your sis and get into the pentles, could you still keep your own contacts w him? Honestly, the abuse he is getting from your sis may be worse than the religion (i personally think that you won't be able to chnage your sis because: you are afraid of her, she seems to need to rant for some reason). If you keep contact, you could be a counterbalancing influence on him. My 2 cents.
S
I would also be curious to know how she interacts with him when there's no one watching. Although you're her brother and she feels more comfortable around you, she may act even worse towards him when there's no one to see and judge. You're very correct in being concerned for this poor boy, and wanting to say something to her. I think the idea of spending some time one on one with him is a fantastic one, he probably needs to spend some time not walking around on eggshells.
That's one more neurotic mother that can emotionally damage her children by being over critical instead of being affectionate and constructive.
They should know that in the long run they will lose out because they will emotionally alienate their children that will then treat them without proper respect and affection in all time to come.
Your sister sounds like my mother 50 years ago, only I'd never dared try to eat away from the kitchen table. I wish someone had successfully intervened in my mother's rages. Hell, I wish UFO's had abducted her.
Unfortunately whenever she was frustrated with anybody or anything she took out her insanity on my brother and me. Sadly at that time at that place, her behaviors were appreciated by the Jehovah's Witness people and raging and abusing children was the normal way. It was a part of the faith of Jehovah's Witnesses.
I don't associate with people who are abusive to children. If that were my sister abusing the child, the next time she invited me over, I'd decline and I'd explain to her that her abuse of the adolescent is too disturbing to me. Thanks anyway.
She doesn't need help, the kid does.
There have been a few times that it resulted in a big blowup between us.
Oh yeah, she erupted like Mt. St. Helens when I was over at her house about 6-7 weeks ago, screaming at me, and screaming again and again at B to "GET IN THE CAR!!!!!" so she could take him to his dad's house and he would never see her again. :( The whole neighborhood heard it, it was really the worst family blow-up I've ever been a part of. And with my family, we've had some doozies.
Honestly, the abuse he is getting from your sis may be worse than the religion
I have to agree unfortunately. The Pentecostal-borg family seems like the lesser of two evils right now.
(i personally think that you won't be able to chnage your sis because: you are afraid of her, she seems to need to rant for some reason).
Yeah, she can be really frightening. I sometimes wonder if she's going to have a complete mental breakdown someday and do something really crazy, to herself or somebody else.
Effervescent, one of the reasons why I try to go over to their house as often as I do is because I think I do liven things up a bit and bring some humor into the situation. (I'm really a pretty funny guy, but it probably doesn't come across on this board :). She's at a constant simmer these days, ready to boil over at any moment.
That's one more neurotic mother that can emotionally damage her children by being over critical instead of being affectionate and constructive.
Tell me about it! Our mother has *never* given us unconditional love and approval. And we've talked quite a bit about that, one of the things that has drawn me and my sis so close over the years is the fact that we understand how f'n weird our family was where outsiders don't.
I feel for your nephew, as I do for you witnessing it and not feeling like you can do anything about it.
I have the same problem with my daughter and her psychotic mother, and for now all I can do is comfort her when she says she doesn't want to go home.
What is it with some people ? They don't deserve children
Bull!
Hell, I wish UFO's had abducted her.
I can imagine B feeling that way about her all too easily.
OK, now for an update,
we had a brief IM chat today, started out just talking about whatever, and I said to her:
"You know the other night when B went and sat down in front of the TV with his dinner? You know, I understand why you would have been frustrated at that, but I don't think there was any malice or deliberate anti-socialness behind the act...."
She responded with something about how anti-social he is, how he spends all his time chatting with friends on the computer, etc.
I said "I hope this doesn't upset you, I say this with only the best intentions, but sometimes it seems like you are *always* angry with B" (here I overstated things a bit, they do have their light and fun moments)
no response from her
Then I said "It seems like sometimes a gentle word is all that is needed to get B in line, that's all I'm trying to say...I don't thing anger accomplishes anything. I experienced this with dad, I remember how much I hated the fact that no matter what the offense, he could never correct me or express his dissatisfaction with something I did in a mild tone, it was always with anger."
no response from her
I won't see her for a few days, so we'll see what develops from here...
