Simon:
I feel for ya man. First off, Friday's threats are baloney. Teachers in school's are now allowed to bring in literature reflecting 'alternative lifestyles."
Promoting of homosexuality is not a crime in any democratic country that I am aware, at least not in North America or Britain (the two places Friday is concerned about). His extortion attempt is appalling. In Toronto the Gay Pride Parade is intended to celebrate (promote) the gay lifestyle. Children line the street , water fights break out...generally a good time for all. Allowing Joel to express his personal preferences is not illegal! Friday makes it sound like you are allowing child porn here. Ignore his threats.
Re: peer moderation. T'is a slippery slope my friend. I think it sounds great in theory but it can also be used against people holding an unpopular viewpoint. It would be a great way of muzzling someone. It also presents the danger of this forum becoming a popularity contest. I personally had enough of cliques while in the Borg. I can't help but think that will happen again.
I personally have dealt with Friday and his manner of posting over at H20. I can say from experience a warning wouldn't have helped change him (can a leopard change his spots?) but as Waiting mentioned it could have taken the fire out of his email. I am not saying to reactivate him, but could be something to remember for future troublemakers.
All that being said. Whatever arrangment you deem necessary for your site Simon, I believe most will cooperate...unfortunately you are not forced to make such arrangments for these people it is the others not willing to cooperate.
As always, I am behind you and your decisions.
Kismet