Just want to gain insight on the overall attitude of most on here.

by stillAwitness 63 Replies latest watchtower bible

• 

  deeskis

  you know i faded over 20 years ago, and had long since resolved my anxst. however finding this site by chance recently has reignited some issues, especially since i still have family involved in the org.

  it's like Dr Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified in her book"on death and dying", she identified 5 stages of grief.

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

  people can move backwards and forwards from one stage to another until they are fully healed.

  i think this forum is great, because there are people at all stages, supporting people through the stage that they are at. others who have been there and understand.

  Regards

  D
• 

  wombat

  Visiting this site is like driving past a really bad car accident.

  You really don't want to look but you can't help a quick glimpse.

  There, but for the grace of God..............
• 

  Bumble Bee

  I've been a "fader" for over 10 years now. I knew for some time things were not "right" in the org, but had no idea what was wrong exactly. I had started my decline just before the new generation light came out. Then a few years later I found out about the NGO, then I got angry! At this point in my life I really want nothing to do with the Society, but unfortunately have to put on a bit of a front with family (and in-laws). I can see things maybe coming to a head with my family in the near future, and am not looking forward to it, all the wounds will be ripped open again.

  BB
• 

  blondie

  I agree with willyloman, free at last.

  Did I need to go to a counselor? No, partly due to the fact that I had gradually eased out mentally by the time I left physically. An abrupt change, for example, being DF'd while still clinging to WTS dogma, might be different.

  Bitter, no; but still aware that the WTS is still using the same tactics on many unknowing people. I do what I can to open their eyes. But sometimes it takes seeing it in your own family, your own congregation, your own area, before it sinks in.

  I hang the WTS with their own words; and they sink their own ship many times.

  Blondie
• 

  IronClaw

  Stilla, I too have been reading many posts and profiles. I am more angry than anything else. I guess what really gets my blood boiling is the many coverups. I mean changing the history from what is printed in the monthly magazines to what is printed in the bound volumes and on their cdroms. Someone once said to control the past you control the present. I cannot with a clean conscience belong to an org that does this. By the way am I NORMAL for feeling so dam angry all the time?
• 

  sandy

  Hi Stilla.
  
  I wouldn't say I'm bitter. Sometimes I think I dwell to much on my JW past. But I do not talk about it as much anymore to just anyone.
  
  I really think you hit it right on the head about the society being like an abusive parent. That is exactly how I see it. I met an ex-jw last night and she was saying how she still finds herself defending Jehovah's Witnesses when somebody talks badly of them.
  
  I told her the same thing, it's like having an abusive parent. We all react in different ways. Some of us have anger and hatred and some of us are hurt and confused and find ourselves defending the very ones who failed us. Does that make sense?
  
  Like the others said we all go through stages. It is very much a grieving process for most of us. You go through different stages of anger, hurt, disbelief, regrets and if you are on the right track eventually you pull through and start to feel a sense of hope.
  
  I feel like, at almost 30 yrs old, I am dreaming about my future for the first time. I mean for the first time in my life I am excited, truly excited about my life and the future.
  
  I do regret that it took so much time for me to wake up and I do fault the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses for that. But I know that I am responsible for me now, and by dweeling on my loss and not doing anything to make me better is only going to make things worse.
  
  As a witness I was never taught to dream about a future and what I could do with my life. It's always about "tomorrow is Armegeddon" so go knock on doors and warn others. Don't worry about your future, Jehovah will take care of you. You don't need college, don't you trust in Jehovah and his promises?
  Any ambition or dreams were stolen from many of us. That is my saddest regret about my witness past.
  
  So I try to plant little seeds into my nieces and nephews minds. I talk to them about school and when I see potential in them I point it out and encourage them to pursue it or whatever else that may interest them.
  
  My 9 year old niece loves animals and used to say she wants to be a pet detective like Ace Ventura. LOL
  
  So I always talk to her about animals and give her books to read. I tell her how she can become a Vet if she wants or an animal trainer, run an animal shelter, or anything I can think of that involves animals.
  I hate that my nieces and nephews are being raised just like I was in the JW world. That really hurts.
• 

  Super_Becka

  I'm not a JW, nor have I ever been, I'm on this board for help with my JW boyfriend (he's inactive and unbaptized, but still clings to some of his beliefs), so I really can't say how I feel about the WTS from personal experience.

  I can say, however, that I do feel bitter about the WTS for the effects its teachings are having on my relationship with my boyfriend. If it wasn't for the WTS, my relationship would be nice and normal and I've be exceptionally happy, my boyfriend is a very good person and we're good together, but because he believes WTS doctrines, there's tension and stress on the relationship.

  The WTS makes me angry, it makes me bitter and it shocks me because I can't understand how people can buy into their rules and regulations without ever questioning anything.

  That's how the WTS makes me feel, and I've never been involved with it!! And that makes me angry, too, because it just goes to show how much power the WTS really has - when it can mess with the lives of non-JWs and get in the way of things and make non-JWs angry and frustrated, for me, that's the mark of a truly powerful organization.

  Just my two cents.

  -Becka :)
• 

  jeeprube

  By the way am I NORMAL for feeling so dam angry all the time?

  Yes, you are normal. I am still angry, but with every passing day the anger will ease a bit. You have to make sure that you replace the anger with something positive and uplifting. One of the biggest control mechanisms used by the WTS is guilt. No matter how much you did, it was never enough and so we where left with an empty guilty feeling. The further you progress out of the organization, the less guilt you will feel. For me this has been mindblowing. I think for the first time in my life I am am begining to truly feel what the "grace" of God really is.

  Once you begin to feel that, your anger will subside.
• 

  LittleToe

  I'm not bitter in the slightest, as I let it all go when I stepped off the stage.

  Occasionally I can get annoyed at stupidity and occasionally angry seeing others get hurt (sometimes with intent), but that's as far as I take it. I'd rather concentrate on living a normal life and helping out whomever I can
• 

  Frannie Banannie

  By the way am I NORMAL for feeling so dam angry all the time?

  Yes, Ironclaw. Check out Lady Lee's "Best of Recovery Threads" and particularly this one.....

  3 Parts: Psych Issues When Leaving Restrictive Relig Grps- Print Copy http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/16/57203/1.ashx [the 2 nd post has the article reformatted for easier reading]

  Frannie