This a great thread...keep them coming!
What weird things have you read in the bible?
by stillAwitness 59 Replies latest jw friends
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Legolas
Oh you have to read this site....OMG too funny!
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IMustBreakAway
I've always wondered about that to legolas...
Also why doesn't it explain the reasons for adam and eve's rebellion? They had to know what they were doing despite and claims of deception..
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Spectrum
So save himself the Levite chucked his wife out of the safety of the house to be raped (Judges 19:25).
But then it got worse when tens of thousands of the Israelites were told by Jehovah to attack the Benjamites as punishment for their sins only to be massacred by the Benjamites. But then it got worse Jehovah told them to have another go at the Benjamites and the Israelites got massacred again. Third time they were lucky but then it got worse again as the Israelites put to death all the benjamite, men women and children as punishment for a few rapists in their midst.
The carnage then continues followed by abduction of young girls:
the israelites refuse to give their own women to the only remaining 600 benjamites(men) out tens of thousands pre massacre so they go and massacre another tribe all the men, women and children but spare and abduct the virgins. Which tribe? The one that wasn't involved in the carnage in the first place.
Judges 21:6
6 Now the Israelites grieved for their brothers, the Benjamites. "Today one tribe is cut off from Israel," they said. 7 "How can we provide wives for those who are left, since we have taken an oath by the LORD not to give them any of our daughters in marriage?" 8 Then they asked, "Which one of the tribes of Israel failed to assemble before the LORD at Mizpah?" They discovered that no one from Jabesh Gilead had come to the camp for the assembly. 9 For when they counted the people, they found that none of the people of Jabesh Gilead were there.
How can you ever reconcile Jehovah with Christ? If there was ever proof that there is no trinity this is it or else it's a cruel joke for the believers -
arrowstar
Wow danny, how'd you know my native american name?
Would that be "He of the Horse's Ass"?
oh wait...that was my first husband's name....
my apologies....
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dorayakii
Exodus 4:24-26 "24 Now it came about on the road at the lodging place that Jehovah got to meet him and kept looking for a way to put him to death. 25 Finally Zip·po´rah took a flint and cut off her son’s foreskin and caused it to touch his feet and said: “It is because you are a bridegroom of blood to me.” 26 Consequently he let go of him. At that time she said: “A bridegroom of blood,” because of the circumcision."
So Jehovah is trying to kill Moses, for no apparent reason apart from the fact that he likes a bit of a tussle from time to time (recall Jacob wrestling with God in Gen 32:24) but then Zipporah thinks, "Why is Jehovah trying to kill my Mosey-Wosey?? Aha, i know what'll get rid of him i'll cut off the end of my sons penis causing him much pain and discomfort, and then touch the bloody foreskin on my husbands foot. That'll teach Jehovah to try and kill my beloved husband."... Jehovah goes off in shame, and Zipporah says "A bridegroom of blood, a bridegroom of blood" and cackles wickedly... -
tetrapod.sapien
some of you newbs may not know of the poster runningman. he basically wrote a book on all the weird things in the bible called The Atheist's Book of Bible Stories. you can get all 27 chapters here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/member/5589/topics/4.ashx
the one about david and the foreskins, slugga, is in there too. hilarious stuff man.
ts
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Check_Your_Premises
I was reading through some of the old Jewish law.
One that made me chuckle was the one where if a womans husband is fighting with another guy, and she reaches up and grabs the other guy by his little buddies, her hand has to get cut off or something like that.
I guess what struck me as funny, was that this was apprantly something that came up often enough, where they had to make a rule about it!
CYP
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dorayakii
That "Stupid and Weird Stuff in the Bible" site was quite interesting Legolas...
Isaiah 13:21: "21 And there the haunters of waterless regions will certainly lie down, and their houses must be filled with eagle owls. And there the ostriches must reside, and goat-shaped demons themselves will go skipping about there. 22 And jackals must howl in her dwelling towers, and the big snake will be in the palaces of exquisite delight. And the season for her is near to come, and her days themselves will not be postponed.”
I noticed that the NWT translates the word not as "satyrs" (like the fawn in The Chronicles of Narnia) but as "goat shaped demon". This seems kind of out of place though, because all the other creatures it mentions are natural animals. The eagle-owl, the strich, the jackal, the big snake... then the goat shaped demon. The writer must have been refering to a creature that he believed existed.
Deut 33:17
17 As the firstborn of a bull his splendor is,
And his horns are the horns of a wild bull.Psalm 92:10
10 But you will exalt my horn like that of a wild bull;
I shall moisten [myself] with fresh oil.The NWT translates as "wild bull" what the KJV translates as "unicorn". In Paslm 92, there is only one horn mentionned, that of the writer... In Deut 33, it again seems strange to talk about the "spendour" of the horns of a wild bull, but when you read it as unicorn, it kind of makes sence.
The NWT is probably correct though in this instance, even though (apparently), the literal translation of the Hebrew word is "one-horn", i'll have to do a bit of research on the Hebrew word. Then again there may have been a mythical one-horned beast resembling a unicorn in Hebrew or Canaanite mythology. I'm not sure how true this is, it'd be interesting to have Leolaia's input on the matter.
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RubaDub
I always liked the "unclean and hated bird" in Revelation.
I'm not sure I would hate any bird as long as I remembered not to park my car under a tree.
Rub a Dub
