My 14-year-old has a same sex attraction..... (page 3)

Gods Child

REPENT! LEAD THE CHILD UNTO THE LORD! THE LORD WILL HEAL!

slugga

REPENT! LEAD THE CHILD UNTO THE LORD! THE LORD WILL HEAL!

If not take her out into the KH car park and stone her (he added sarcastically)

LittleToe

GodsChild:You are the Weakest Link - Goodbye!

jstalin

I'm sorry I was only explaining homosexuality and then gave one solution to this behaviour.

You didn't "explain" homosexuality, you gave your opinion of it. I have been attracted to guys all my life, but being surrounded by folks like you who want to claim that it's learned or somehow not inherent caused me years of denial and self-loathing. Now that I've come to grips with my feelings with the help of a really good friend, I finally feel free in my life. I'm happy to be me.

You claim to offer a "solution" to the "behavior." You clearly don't understand, but homosexuality isn't a behavior, it's a physiological state. Gay folks aren't gay because they engage in homosexual sex, they're gay because they are attracted to the same sex. Just as you are attracted to the opposite sex (I'm assuming), I am attracted to the same sex. It's something I tried to deny mentally for more than a decade, but all the will power in the world didn't make me attracted to women.

GentlyFeral

blessedstar,

I hope I helped.

Rest assured, you have not.

GentlyFeral

Alana

I really do appreciate the responses that I have received. I truly do want to have a loving and balanced view regarding this matter. I don’t want to ignore something that should be addressed, nor do I want to make a mountain out of a molehill, as they say.

I have had in the past a discussion regarding sex and boys and have always told her that I love her no matter what and that I always want her to feel like she can come to me about anything. Also, I know that even if you say that, that sometimes kids still don’t feel comfortable coming to you about some things. I have also talked to her in the past about this being a time in her life when she may have thoughts about girls as well as boys, as that was normal for girls her age, but that I felt she was a bit young to get sexually involved with either sex. So, in a way, I have already addressed this briefly. My main concern at that time was talking some about STD and pregnancy.

Dune: I agree that sometimes it’s a peer thing, which I wonder about in this case All her straight friends have boyfriends or girlfriends and other friends either profess to be gay or bi and also are dating. And she hasn’t had much success with boys her age and this girl is giving her a lot of attention and is in the group she hangs out with, so it might be due to the attention or wanting to fit in, I don’t know. From some of her journal postings, it appears that she is somewhat confused.

Joelbear: Thank you also for your perspective. I was hoping to hear from someone who was gay and get their perspective. I agree that I should address it just as I would if it were a boy and liked your idea about education regarding the emotional side of sex.

Slugga: I have heard her refer to some people as being ‘homophobic’ (including her JW grandma), so I know that I don’t want to appear as being that. I agree with you that this could be just a phase of sorts, as she is figuring things out and trying to fit in, etc., with others. Therefore, my desire is to not blow things out of proportion.

Saoirse: LOL…maybe it is wishful thinking to want her to be asexual as her age. I was at that age (and older), but that was due to the repressed JW upbringing. I agree that she needs to find out things herself, I just don’t want undo pressure for her…..the protective mom thing, I guess.

Lady Lee: I, too, want her to be safe and smart and know that I will love her no matter what. I also have read that it could be part of normal development.

BlessedStar: Thank you, too, for your input, as I know that you have the best intention. However, what I am not of the same mindset. In various books I have read, as well as informative shows, I believe that there can be something to genetics and sexual orientation. While a person may not be born a murderer, as you state, but that person may have certain predispositions or mental illnesses which could affect them later in life and trigger such an act. There have also been studies, primarily the one I read about involved trans-gendered persons, which have shown that there is a difference balance genetically or somehow, which affects these people. We are not perfect, so what’s to say people aren’t born that way. I also do not believe that mere association with a gay person can cause it to “rub off”. I do agree that pornography can affect some people negatively, but I monitor what I can of the computer and don’t see that as a big concern right now. I have seen the opposite, however, where parents have been too hard-line and it caused problems for the child later…..such as the boy whose mother would actually tear out the underwear/bra section of the Sears catalog for fear of ‘evil thoughts and influences’. What was one of the first thing the boy gravitated to as he grew up? The forbidden--pornography. There was also the parent who, without real talking with or reasoning, banned all contact with any alcoholic beverage. That girl instantly gravitated right into the forbidden, as well, taking any opportunity she could to get drunk. So, I want to be reasonable and open to discussion with my daughter and not push her into doing something out of sheer rebellion. I understand the Bible’s view….that God created man and woman to fill the earth, so I do appreciate your concern. I agree that I want to talk with her and not just to her.

I appreciate greatly all who have responded and those who may yet respond. Thank you so much.

ps -- YIKES....this topic seemed to explode since I starting typing this response, so I need to catch up on these other responses. So, if I didn't comment specifically to yours, then I just didn't get it read yet, but I thank you all.

slugga

Its nearly my dogs feeding time, i just wondered if anyones fed the trolls yet?

No?

Ok

*Chucks a couple of billy goats to Gods Child and BlessedStar*

jstalin

I don't know exactly what I asking for, but I didn't know if anyone here has run across anything similar or has any suggestions....coming from a JW background, neither her dad or I want to react as our parents would have reacted.

Coming from the perspective of someone who would have loved to have a parent willing to at least dicuss the issue, let me offer one bit of advice. Just make it clear you will love your daughter no matter what. Being homosexual leaves a person out of quite a few of the "norms" of society, so just having someone who understands and accepts is more important than you know. Be there for her, be willing to accept who she is, and support her in leading her life.

My 14-year-old has a same sex attraction.....

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