my letter to my dad. what do you think?

by freedomlover 37 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  AuldSoul

  (((freedomlover))),

  That is beautiful. I see Narkissos point, but I am not so sure a phone conversation is the best idea. It is easy to turn around what someone said on the phone—even moments after the conversation is over—but with a letter what you actually said is "recorded" and can be "played back" as many times as he reads it. It would be difficult to imagine a phone conversation affecteing him three years from now, but rereading a letter easily could.

  Maybe working in at least one thing for him to look up himself, like, "Even something as simple as looking up the marginal references for Daniel 5:26 raised doubts about the explanations I have always heard."

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
• 

  rebel8

  The letter is good. I do have one thought for you.

  I would be more than willing to show you any and all articles I’ve found. These issues are extremely serious, Dad, and I value your opinion. I'm enclosing a brief list of what I found. I sincerely hope you'll research it for yourself and let me know what you find. You could also hang onto it if you prefer to review it at a later time.

  If your dad is the typical JW, he may respond better to you enclosing a separate list of your concerns. His curiosity may be piqued enough to review the list, or he may review it in an attempt to prove you wrong. If you leave it as an offer, that means he would have to actively ask you to discuss your concerns, ie, make him feel he's sinning for listening to "apostacy". The more passive and indirect his opportunity to listen to your concerns is, the better, IMHO.
• 

  freedomlover

  I do hear what you are all saying. See my dad is the king of bible prophecy stuff. He loves it, devours it. I also called him months ago and asked him to explain how JW's came up with 607. He gave me this long answer and then said "well even if they are off, like secular history says, 1914 was dead on, so it has to be right." So, you see, if I raise a doubt he will start to look on his own. I kind of want him to find it on his own. If he is starts hitting a wall like I did, I will give him that KISS list of kings and their reigning years that ITIS gave me and that's it. I'll let him fill in the blanks. Me and my dad are a lot alike and I would have resented someone shoving a lot of info. in my face and proving me and my beloved religion wrong. I think it's how he needs to hear it....

  but like I said....it's really good to hear these ideas and I'm contemplating all of them....

  thank you, thank you, thank you!
• 

  ithinkisee

  Not meaning to answer for my wife ... but I think she wants him to speak to her in person regarding the ACTUAL problems with the Society.

  I believe the point she is trying to make from this letter is only that (1) she has taken it seriously, (2) she was looking to strengthen her faith by her research, (3) her motives were questioned when things didn't add up, (4) she does not want to lose her relationship with her father.

  As an apostate, we love seeing the list of contradictions right out in front of us, concisely documented and explained. It is not the same for active JWs ... especially lifelong ones.

  I believe she does not want the "apostate" defense shields to go up. She won't have any problem with defending her beliefs in person when it comes down to it. Right now she is just laying the foundation. Establishing her motive more than anything.

  So ... I think sending a list of contradictions and lies would just muddy the waters of her real intentions ... namely ... establishing her motives and love for her father.

  -ithinkisee
• 

  vitty

  That was an excellent letter. I am also in a dilema, but with my daughter, I wonder if i could use your letter for a basis for one for my daughter as it does cover a lot of what Ive discovered
• 

  freedomlover

  go right ahead vitty, lord knows I've taken ideas from other people here! lol

  let us know how it goes....

  my next letter today is to my best friend (a JW) and my little brother....ugh. what a day. but it needs to be done, and it actually feels really good to get this stuff out.
• 

  Billygoat

  ((((Freedomlover)))))

  I wish you the best. Lovely letter!

  Andi
• 

  XBEHERE

  I know how the organization works and by telling anyone these things, that I have just told you, I could disfellowshipped for apostasy. I could loose everyone that I love, and could be shunned the rest of my life. Believe me, I tried to forget what I learned, but I can’t. I feel like I am living a lie. I just cannot do that, no matter what the cost

  Freedomlover,

  I think what you said above really is the bottom line for you. You need to do this for yourself. If only I had the courage, strength, and fortitude to do exactly what you and ITIS are doing I would be free at last too. Since you have made up your mind already about being a JW and you are never going back it is loving for you to explain this to your dad in person. I wish the best of luck and my thoughts are with you.
• 

  freedomlover

  XBEHERE-

  I know how the organization works and by telling anyone these things, that I have just told you, I could disfellowshipped for apostasy. I could loose everyone that I love, and could be shunned the rest of my life. Believe me, I tried to forget what I learned, but I can’t. I feel like I am living a lie. I just cannot do that, no matter what the cost

  Freedomlover,

  I think what you said above really is the bottom line for you. You need to do this for yourself. If only I had the courage, strength, and fortitude to do exactly what you and ITIS are doing I would be free at last too. Since you have made up your mind already about being a JW and you are never going back it is loving for you to explain this to your dad in person. I wish the best of luck and my thoughts are with you.

  thanks XBEHERE. that is what I was thinking. this letter is a foundation on which to build. I need to let my dad digest this first, and then I can speak to him about this and let him know how serious my itentions are of never going back. The very first time ITIS talked to me he had already decided to not be a JW and it made me so mad that he had made this huge decision without ever even asking me or consulting me. Knowing my dad, he would not respond well to me making such a huge decision without at least giving him the opportunity to "encourage" me back to the org. that's why it may seem like my letter sounds like I'm kind of undecided still.
• 

  XBEHERE

  that's why it may seem like my letter sounds like I'm kind of undecided still.

  Its a good tactic and I do understand what you are saying. I would be upset too if my wife came up to me and made a life altering decision without me even if I may have been thinking the same thing. You know him better than any of us obviously, so speak to him when you think the time is right , definitely speak to him in person too though.