my letter to my dad. what do you think?

freedomlover

Hey you all. Well finally got the courage to put this all down on paper for my dad. If you want to read it and give me any feedback I'd truly appreciate it.

Dear Dad,

freedomlover

crap not coming through....I'll try again

I am sending you this letter because there are some things I need to talk to you about and I really don’t know how else to do this but to send you a letter. You sent me an email the other day about how I can always talk to you and I hope that this letter will find you with that same thought. I wanted to speak to you in person when you came up here, but it looks like you won’t be up here for awhile, and I really need to talk to you about this.

About 6 months ago, when we started studying the Daniel book again, I started to do research on what we were learning. My main intention was to strengthen my faith and finally once and for all understand the bible prophecies that I was supposed to know. I started trying to put dates and events in order and it was not adding up. I went round and round for weeks trying to understand the dates and events and kings activities in the bible and in the publications. Finally I came up with a timeline using the society’s publications and then adding in dates, events, and kings. What I came up with was a huge contradiction. I was so confused, and upset that I actually called you. Do you remember that? I also spoke with two elders in our hall about it, who in turn asked the CO about it. No valid answer was given to me. Instead they questioned my motives as to why I was asking! I don’t have a problem with bible history coinciding with archeological and secular history. Those two lines add up perfectly and actually reinforce the bible’s authenticity. The problem I’m having is with the Society’s dates. They don’t match up with the bible or secular and archaeological dates. That has made me question why they would do that.

After this upsetting incident I started researching other areas. Please keep in mind, all I was using was the Society’s publications, different translations of the bible, and a few encyclopedia’s, and bible commentaries. What I have found about the history of the Society and the teachings are not always bible based. I have prayed to Jehovah about this many times. Gut-wrenching, soul-searching, prayers and begged him to help me to understand to what to do. Telling you these things puts me in a horrible predicament. I know how the organization works and by telling anyone these things, that I have just told you, I could disfellowshipped for apostasy. I could loose everyone that I love, and could be shunned the rest of my life. Believe me, I tried to forget what I learned, but I can’t. I feel like I am living a lie. I just cannot do that, no matter what the cost. I am not a threat to the congregation. I don’t plan on discussing these issues with anyone else. I just want to walk away and start over. I’m not planning on becoming immoral, or becoming a Satan worshiper. What I am finding is the world isn’t as scary as I’ve always been taught.

I would be more than willing to show you any and all articles I’ve found. There are contradictions throughout the history of the Society and its literature. I cannot agree with teachings that I feel are not bible based. One example is the disfellowshipping arrangement. Now that I have my own children, I could never shun them just because they have erred. Motivating someone by using guilt and fear is not the way to do it. Not according to the bible and not according to my own beliefs as a human being and a parent.

I didn’t want to do this through a letter, and I didn’t want to bring this up before XXXX’s wedding, however certain family members are being rather aggressive and I needed to talk to you about this before you heard it from someone else.

Little did I know, but ITIS was doing research the same time I was, and the things he was finding were just as disturbing to him. He knows how I feel about all of this and he is in agreement with pretty much everything I’ve told you here. We are fine talking to you about this, and I don’t mind if you share this letter with XXXX (my stepmom), because I trust her with this. As of right now, we would like to sit back and do more research and praying about this and keep a low profile which would mean a break from meetings.

My main concern would be that I am hurting you. I feel like I am going to break your heart with this news, and that kills me. You don’t even know how much. I beg Jehovah that you will not shun me, or my family. I know you know me a reasonable, cautious person. This was not an overnight decision for us. The last few months have been hell for us, knowing what we could stand to loose.

My last thought is this. If this is “The Truth” it should stand up to criticism and testing. In my opinion, it hasn’t, in areas I feel it should.

I love you.
I will wait to hear from you.

Narkissos

FL,

That's a beautiful, tactful, insightful, loving letter... but I wonder if it might not be better, as far as possible, to talk this over with him. Just to see how he reacts at each step of the discussion and how much he can bear. Perhaps he is not able to hear that much. Perhaps he can eve hear more. Writing is definitive and you might later regret having said too much or too little (I may be wrong but I feel you have understated some of your doubts...)

inbyathread

Very good. Not too long. I like the part where you ask the elders and they turn it around on you asking your motives. Very society of them. Good Luck. Let us know how it goes.

ithinkisee

but I wonder if it might not be better, as far as possible, to talk this over with him

I think she addressed this ....

I wanted to speak to you in person when you came up here, but it looks like you won’t be up here for awhile, and I really need to talk to you about this.

[...]

I didn’t want to do this through a letter, and I didn’t want to bring this up before XXXX’s wedding, however certain family members are being rather aggressive and I needed to talk to you about this before you heard it from someone else. ;

-ithinkisee

freedomlover

Narkissos - thank you.

true. true. I have seemed to understate my doubts because knowing my father, he will be very upset if he thinks I have reached such conclusions before I have consulted with him somewhat. I kind of almost want to have him try to "encourage" me so I can show him then what I've found and then give him a little more of an idea where I stand - being totally done with the JW's.

I agree about speaking with him. However, due to a very complicated situation with extended family and others I'm afraid we may have to make our viewpoints known soon and I wanted to break this to him first. It's a very hard bomb shell to just call on the phone and hope he's not in the middle of something and then tell him everything. My dad's first response will be heartbreak and I don't know if I could take seeing that in him. My father has carried tremendous guilt and sadness because of many of his life experiences. My hurting him further kills me. Call me a coward, but emotionally I don't think I could handle seeing my dad heartbroken by this news.

I will consider your thoughts though. thank you again

KW13

You are doing a brave thing, i like how you researched this WANTING to find the WBT society as reliable and honest and as God's organization. You are being honest with yourself and not hiding, and that is hard.

i hope your dad responds how you want and need him too, good luck and i think since your so sensible, you will land on your feet in the end.

my letter to my dad. what do you think?

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