by UNCLEAR 35 Replies latest jw experiences
Justitia,
According to the QfR in the 01. April 1986 Watchtower (pp. 30,31), your lack of acceptance of the appointment of the F&DS and your unwillingness to believe that our Lord Christ Jesus was enthroned in the Heavens in 1914 are both grounds for disfellowshiping. This is true whether or not you voice your beliefs regarding such. According to the WatchTower Bible and Tract Society, you are already 'no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses'.
Welcome, dear Sister.
I think Justitia's approach is commendable.
You can be a part of something but it is not a part of you. We already know the position that the society would take on the issue, but we are not the society. So if people chose to believe bits and pieces of what they are taught, regardless of the religion, good for them for not towing the party line they have a brain and they are using it. Truthfully, there are few people who question their religion, they just go along with it even if they don't not buy into it. I can give you examples of many Catholics that I know that do not feel that gays are evil or that the pope is infalable, but they are still Catholic. Why can't active JWs be the same?
I think the Watchtower Society is far more worried about closet "unbelievers" than ravening "apostates". In your own way, you undermine the claustrophobic control of the society. Good luck with your mental gymnasics. I couldn't handle it, myself.
UNCLEAR:
a. When I was raped, the brothers told me it was not fornication and his wife did not have scriptural grounds for divorce. She had to stay married to him or she would lose her priveldges in the congregation. Would Jehovah agree with that, or any kind person even consider that scriptural?
I don't know if the statues of limitations is up in your case but if it isn't what's to keep you from filing charges with the police against this perpertrator?
Let the law take over where brothers fail to tread. They handled your case very wrong and in fact re-raped you with such very unloving directive. You asked me in another thread what it was that made me want to leave the B'org, well something along the same lines, no not rape but the misshandling of critical moral matters within the body of Elders™. If this doesn't tell you Jehovah's spirit isn't behind this orginazation I don't know what would.
Gosh girl my heart really goes out to you, I've been there done that. It took all the strength I could muster to leave my husband of 31 years and my family. If it weren't for the fact that my children were not active JW's and were 100% behind me I wonder if I would still be there still trying to justify what wrongs were done to me and my family.
I won't suggest to you or offer you advise on what to do you sound perfectly capable of figuring it out for yourself. When you are strong enough you will find your way and it will be the right one for you. Just know that there are people here who understand and this is a place where you can come for support.
Hang in there I know it sounds so pase' but this to shall pass.
An former elder(A) told me that once he was on a JC where a young brother admitted that he had sex with a sister.
One of the elders(B) started out right away asking detailed questions about what was done,etc.
Elder (A) and (C) tried, with their facial expression, to stop elder (B) from going that route, but he
kept on. Elder(A) had to stop him and remind him that because fornication had already
been confessed, so there was no need to ask detailed questions as if trying to ascertain if porneia had been committed.
The elder(B) apologized, but later complained to the other elders that he felt it was wrong that elder (A) had
corrected him in in front of a publisher. (If your stupid ass would have read the book you wouldn't have gotten corrected)
Elder(A) referred to page 112 in the Flock book where it says,
Probing questions should not go into needless details,
especially in regard to sexual misconduct, unless this is
absolutely necessary, such as in determining whether
por-nei'a had been committed.
Elder (A) was upset because elder (B) acted as if everything was cool and went complaining to the other brothers.
Elder (A) told elder (B) to study his book and the JC was concerned with helping the person, not preserving his frail ego.
Elder (A) said he would handle the situation the same way, and that in the future if elder (B) had a problem with him to come to him man to man.
A sincere straight forward man that won't kiss up isn't tolerated well among proud pharisee like elders.
So via conspiracy they bogusly deleted Elder (A). His last words were, elder titles don't define me as a man. You can take your title and stick it.
I really miss elder (A). He was a real man. All that's left are wanna be's kissing the butt of anyone they feel is organizationally superior to them.
As far as getting solid answers to questions.........the GB doesn't have the answers. That is, answers that would allow
them to keep their status quo. Because truthful answers would reveal the wolf under the sheepskin covering.
Dear Unclear,
Wow, you have been through ALOT! I too was pm'd by a elder who is posting here after I told my story. I have yet to respond. I don't understand how they feel we are bad for posting here, when they are doing the very same thing! We are here for you..
L.L.
All or Nothing behavior is all I've been taught to know. I feel like I must stay or leave.
Dear Good Girl (I don' see a bad girl):
All or nothing behavior is what you must unlearn, regardless of whether or not you choose to remain a JW. It IS what we are taught, however, rarely is life so. And, such thinking will harm most other aspects of your life and relationships.
The Pharisees taught the rules, or the black and white; Jesus taught the gray, or when to break the rules.
Keep it together hon. Look for the people who do have love. I found many right here on this site! They're everywhere. Not many in my KH though.
x
Porneia is understood to involve the grossly immoral use of the genital organ(s) of at least one human;
This is the current 'understanding'. But it was not that way in the 70's and before. Then, penetration was the decider - meaning a lesbian relationship was not pornia. Now it can even mean masturbating via webcam.
Truth is, the GB decides what is and what is not a ground for divorce. Then the local elders interpret it and judge. That's why lives get messed up so much. What is allowed/not allowed one year or in one congregation is not allowed/allowed another year or in another congregation.
Meantime victims like you are given such bad advice! The GB carries the responsibility for this. Stop listening to the crappy opinions of others - do what your 'bible trained conscience' says is right.
Unclear welcome to the board. There are many individuals participating here that have gone through similiar things so you have the help and encouragement here. I am still an active JW, at least for appearances sake and I can tell you that what you are experiencing is common. Lack of love, mis treatment, etc. I think being a JW produces an incredible amount of stress for individuals and eventually they will reach a breaking point. Some end up leaving, some stay and develop mental illness, others lash out at people close to them or others in the congregation. I agree with some of the posts here, leave for yours and your son's sake. I know its easier said than done though. Keep your head up and feel confident that leaving this "religion" would not be the end of the world.
