To all Active JW's on the board

by UNCLEAR 35 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Hellrider

  Justitia:

  From the foregoing, it is clear that the Bible does not say that all marriages are to remain permanent and no divorce is permissible for any reason at all. On the other hand, the Bible provides only one acceptable basis for divorce, namely, "the ground of fornication."

  Rape IS fornication; therefore, she had grounds.

  You are forgetting something: Yes, that is one rule, but when these rules of the WTS, even the ones that look good, are applied in actual situations, often more emphasis is put on the mans rights, the mans rights as "head of the family" and his rights as the "spiritual stronghold" of the family, etc. No matter how perverted he is. That happens all the time, because you are not only living in a "theocratic order", you are living in a patriarchal order! And in systems like that, no matter what is "right" or "wrong", the guys usually get off the hook whenever they do something wrong. That`s just the way it is.
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  UNCLEAR

  I appreciate all the encouragement and am amazed at how many can understand my situation. For now I will keep posting on the board keep going on with my life as I regularly do, but with a small twist spend all my time and energy REALLY searching the facts about the organizational docturnage and stop doing my mindless weekly meeting studies. Let's see if my time will be better spent, I guess I will find out. Before I make any drastic descisions I want facts from the society and the respected Acedemic world.
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  poodlehead

  I am a little unclear on what I read. Straighten this out for me. Who was raped? You? By your husband or outside person? This was or was not fornacation? Sorry I read it a few times and was trying to get a clear picture. I do have a simular situation(I think).

  I had already stoped going to the meetings. But my ex-husband stayed active. I wanted a divorice and had told him I was on my way out. But I was giving him one last chance. One night we had friends over and I was atracted to a man that came over. I was giving this man a lot of attention. I guess to see how my husband would react. But I never expected this.

  Our sex life was terrible. Maybe once a year. His choice. But that night for the first time EVER in our 20 year marriage he inaciated sex. And I refused. What happened was a sexual assult. Even now it is hard for me to use the word rape but that is what it was. It was not the man I married. It was not about him thinking. "Wow I could loose this woman, I better step up to the plate." No it was vilent and unpleasant and the nicest way I can explain it.....He was a dog marking his territory. If you understand my meaning.

  It took years for me to get over it and it ended our marriage. We have been divorced for 3 years and I have remarried but I have more nightmares about him than I have pleasant dreams about my new husband. For me it was earth shattering

  After we divoriced he was getting married just 9 months afterwards. Now if I ever wanted to be a JW again I would deffinatly be DF'd. I became very permiscues after that, even before we were devoriced. But when I found out that he was getting remarried I was concerned and spoke to the elders. Let's se if I could sum up there comments in one sentence. "Oh well." Of course that is not what they said. But that is what it boiled down to. They didn't even mention to him I had spoken to them.

  So I don't know if this relates to you or not. But abuse is not choice. If that is your question.

  I am curios about the fact that you are active and still post on this board. I asume you have doubts. Are you happy as a JW? My heart told me I had made a terrible choice to become a witness. And I trusted my feeling and left. I live a very happy life now. I hope you find what you are looking for.
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  truth about the last days

  Hello, there. I hope that I can help. I think that the scripture that you are looking for is in Matt 5:27+28. It reads "You heard that it was said, "You must not commit adultery." But i say to you that everyone that keeps on looking at a woman as to HAVE A PASSION for her has ALLREADY committed adultery with her in his heart.". Now, we do not really need to bring out complecated words to try and explain this scripture. If a dedicated brother, as a husband, decides to look at porn, he is commiting adultery with his heart- as it is his heart that motivates him to keep on continually to look at such things. This also relates to rape. Also, when you are attending meetings, do not keep quiet about this amongst all brothers and sisters, as the elders will often do not want it to be spread over the congregation and they would want it to be quiet as possable. Get in contact with a soliciter and get any advice that you can get on the matter.As from what Jesus had said in the scripture above, you do have grounds for divorce- scriptually. If the matter does get violent, then with the risk of your life as well as your baby you will need to get out of the house- as the Most High God is a life giver. Your removal from the home will get the notice from the elders. If the elders decide to "mark" you for your descion for divorce- let it be known that the Most High God supports the divorce according to Matt 5.And it is he that imparts the reward of everlasting life- not the elders.
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  truth about the last days

  P.S. Psalm 28:28 says the "Jehovah is a lover of justice". in a court of law, any evidence can be provided to be for or against any court case.If you do have any evidence of his actions, show the scripture first and then attempt to show your evidence. If they refuse to see the evidence- shoe it to others in the congregation. If they refuse to see the evidence, then this is a testomony that they, in your congregation, do not love a God of justice. keep the evidence in a safe place away from home, just in case you may need it for a court of law.
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  UNCLEAR

  Poodlehead,
  
  Thank you for sharing your story, I did not have much of a question just wanted to get a few things off my chest, which as you know a JW is not allowed to do in any type of form. I am still active but obviously have my doubts and could not stay silent. I need to be able to express myself freely to get answers I needed. I am unclear (hence the name) on what the future holds, but for now I am on the preverbial fence.
  
  But since the society says there is no fence, I am just floundering on the ground with rotten apples at my side:))))))))))))))))))))))