Plmcrzy - to answer your question, we've known each other on a very personal level (not physically) for about a year.
Help - I'm in love with a JW!
by LookingIn 45 Replies latest jw friends
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Dr Jekyll
She wants out of her marriage right, but she doesn't want to leave her religion. To be blunt the only way she can do this is to get her husband to have an affair or to get laid herself. She knows that if she goes off and sleeps with you and gets disfellowshipped the chances of her getting accepted back in are practically zero while she is still seeing you. So what is she playing at?
You two will end up hurting a lot of people you can't escape that fact. But what if it doesn't work out, if a year down the line she starts to resent you for getting her disfellowshipped, for loosing her her children, for costing her her friends and family. In her mind it will be your fault. All those people you hurt would have been hurt for nothing.
If you are unhappy in your relationship finish it and start off with a clean slate. As for this woman finish that too, there is so much baggage here it's bound to fail and you'll have the destruction of her family on your conscience.
No good is going to come of this.
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Check_Your_Premises
Your comments inspired me to encourage her to do this and tell her I would be happy for her if she is able to reconnect with him, despite my selfish desires.
That is good to hear lookin. That means you actually love her (care about her best interests). Some folks mistake a very strong desire to be with someone as love; that is called being horny.
I am so glad to hear you are considering long term ramifications as well.
I never judged you, and I was a little disappointed in myself that I did not get that acknowledgement from you. I will have to try harder to not sound judgemental.
I always knew this was a VERY complicated situation. It always is. The tough things about REALLY complicated situations is you lose perspective. That is why you always keep just a few rules, that are just written in stone, that you never break. That way no matter upside down your world gets, you always have that point of reference.
Rule written in stone with letters a thousand feet deep: Always look out for the children's best interest!!!
Take care.
CYP
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sixsixsixtynine
....but we chose poorly and we're both miserable.
Marry this woman and you'll realize the true meaning of miserable.
This is not like trying to get a divorce from the Catholic church. It's a brainwashing cult that she's in.
Unless she learns the truth about "the truth", getting involved with her would be a huge mistake for you (all other issues aside).
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plmkrzy
hormones anyone?
With all due respect, a year is not very long. If these children are a few years old then...well that multiplied by the one year you have had together is at the very least how long it took for her to conclude her husband isn't the one for her. Do you really believe she, and yourself for that matter, can make a sound choice after only knowing eachother such a short time? Those children are older then your relationship, unless they are all less then a year old.
Those children didn't ask for this.
Take a giant step baaaak and THINK!
jmho
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Gregor
I appreciate your last post. Sounds like a plan. She is going to see if things can be salvaged with her mate. How about you? Is it beyond salvaging? Funny how "side pussy" can make things out with the present mate look impossible. But if indeed it's beyond repair, then do as has been suggested above, get a formal separation or divorce and start building yourself a new life that still includes the kids but you'll feel 100% better about the whole thing when you find someone else. I think I speak for all here when I say we wish all of you well, life throws us a lot of curveballs, it's good to hit one once in awhile.