Well, my wife flipped out.

by rassillon 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • rassillon
    rassillon

    I hope I don't go too long with this...

    Last night my wife and I were talking about her day in service. We talked about several things of little consequence and then I made mention of a point out of the reasoning book to underscore the importance of our need to be well versed in the facts that support our beliefs. Said point is on 416 of the RS book. I did not quote it from comming from there. It was the point that based solely on the Greek grammatical structure there in no definitive way to prove the correct translation of John 1:1 (FYI: I do not believe in a trinity, just like to be honest about the facts). Weeelllll, I realize most witnesses don't know this and since I did not quote my source, my wife gets up and goes walks out of the room and starts saying that "I don't like where this is going". She cut me off before I was able to expound on the fact that we have to look at the whole body of truth found in the bible which is what helps us come to a proper understanding of the relationship of Jesus and his father Jehovah.

    I follower her inquiring (in a slightly irritated manner) what the deal was. She indicated that she did not like the conversation and that it was starting to sound Apostate! Well, this was just weird, as much as I tried to explain about how important it is for us to understand what we believe she got more adamant that she didn't want to hear it and that she does her research in the societys publications and where did I get this from AND if I had this conversation with anyone else she would pack up and LEAVE!!!!

    In the end after more "discussion" I showed here the information in the RS book, and get this, she wanted to argue about what it said there and that was not what I said.

    I guess she has a hair trigger when it comes to something outside of "safe information."

    I knew she would not be very receptive to things that expose the society but I did not realize that I would experience the society's shutdown circut even with things that are not that obvious in the publications.

    Hey that is my term "Society's Shutdown Circut", I think they install it when you get baptized.

    Anyway my mind raced for several hours since I know the inevitable I did not get to sleep till 2am, eventually I will have to tell her when I have all of my proof documented. Based on last night I am not hopefull. I even wept, and if you knew me, crap just don't effect me like that. But my wife is a different story.

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan
    I guess she has a hair trigger when it comes to something outside of "safe information."

    Hi rassillon, check this out, it might help you to understand your wife's panic reaction:

    http://www.csicop.org/si/2000-11/beliefs.html

  • jojochan
    jojochan

    Damn...I feel your pain. I also think that it's something they put in the baptism pool. But seriously; you can show them straight from their own source too about the doctrine changes, and they would not believe it. Most of the collective would not catch it. Because most of them don't really read the material that they are pushing out there in the street.

    Spiritual blinders perhaps?

    jojochan.

  • Undecided
    Undecided


    Women are not easy to understand by men. They usually use more emotion than thinking on something like this. It's sort of like this joke I heard.

    This man had been a very good person, done good deeds for so many people that God approached him and said that he could have one wish. He said he wanted a road built to Hawaii, so he could drive there. God said that was a little too much to ask for, think of something else. He thought a minute and asked that he wanted to understand women and what they thought.

    God replied, do you want two lanes or four lanes.

    Ok you women posters, I'm ready for your blasting.

    Ken P.

    PS: I would give you some advice on your situation but I'm not good at handling a situation like that, I would have to ask my wife.

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Speaking from experience, I think you handled this really well. My husband spent about 2-3 years doing to me what you did to your wife, before it finally got through to me.

    Using the WTS own publications, to condemn them, is the way to go. My husband used them, reading me passages and asking me to explain them to him. I was horrified to realize he was reading from Watchtowers.

    Give it time, and don't get into it again for a few days. Give her lots of love and respect. Believe me, you make a dent in her armour.

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    I actually heard an illustration (in a "talk" no less) regarding this kind of mentality...

    We all know who the "Fuller Brush Man" is....right?

    Imagine if you grew up in a family where all they ever said about "Fuller Brush Men" was that they were Devil worshippers, pedophiles, muredrous thieves that rape young girls and that sacrificed their pets on the full moon...

    You heard this for decades (although never actually meeting one yourself)...not only that...whenever the subject of the Fuller Brush Man came up ANYWHERE....all you heard was derogatory remarks...and snickers...it seemed no liked these guys and the concensus was unanimoous.

    So... you grow up...move away from home...and one Saturday morning...the doorbell rings...you answer it...and guess who's standing there?

    How do you think you'd react?

    It's kinda like that....

    Hope this helps

    u/d

  • Mary
    Mary

    Thank you Dan the Man for posting that link.......I think you did that on another site and it really explains alot as to why Witnesses (amongst others), have such a difficult time with "facts", even when the truth (no pun intended) is staring them straight in the face. I was like this years ago. I would get really upset and pissed off when I would be out in Service and when someone at the door made a point that he/she could back up and which I had nothing to refute with.

    Rassillion, you'll have to take is easy and slow with your wife. She's obviously a loyal Witness and therefore, the walls of defense immediately go up in her brain and right now, she won't listen to reason........but who knows, with time, she might come to see the truth about "the Truth".......

  • gumby
    gumby
    she got more adamant that she didn't want to hear it....... if I had this conversation with anyone else she would pack up and LEAVE!!!!

    I will have to tell her when I have all of my proof documented. Based on last night I am not hopefull.

    I'd like to know WHY you plan on pushing her more. Why? She's already close to "packing her bags"...yet you want to push her some more. Is there a reason you weant to push her some more? Do you love her? Does she love you? Then WHY push her out the door?

    I see this crap too many times and I see families destroyed by ex-witnesses going beyond where they should know to keep quiet. I'd suggest you think long and hard about continuing on with your "pushing her".....unless you want to live alone.

    Gumby

  • JamesThomas
    JamesThomas

    @Gumby

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    I agree with gumby. I got nearly the exact reaction you got over nearly the exact subject. It was at that time I confessed my apostacy to her. I let it lay for a while and pretty soon we were talking in a civil manner about. In the end she's still a witness but atleast theres peace.

    If you ever believed witness stuff, how would you have felt if the tables were turned and your wife came to you and expressed doubts over what the society says about something.

    This is a great link if you havent read it yet.

    http://www.freeminds.org/psych/exithelp.htm

    Matt

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