Well, my wife flipped out. (page 3)

gumby

Is Gumby mad? Yes

I'm mad because I don't like to see marriages broken, wives hurt, husbands hurt, kids hurt, family hurt.

I just experienced a good friend of mine losing his family because he talked too much. He wouldn't shut up until she left and him. His married kids don't want him around because of his continual shootin his mouth off about what a cult the WTBTS is. He sent them letters after they refused to listen to him face to face.

Here's what you said that made me feel you were "pushing" her.

:I following her inquiring (in a slightly irritated manner) what the deal was. She indicated that she did not like the conversation and that it was starting to sound Apostate!

Well, this was just weird, as much as I tried to explain about how important it is for us to understand what we believe she got more adamant that she didn't want to hear it

AND if I had this conversation with anyone else she would pack up and LEAVE!!!!

I guess she has a hair trigger ( end quote)

Your correct my friend...I don't know you or your wife. I'm only saying this for you....not me. My wife is still in the Organisation and I have been out since 95. I did as you are doing.......twice if I remember correct. Had I continued on, she most likely would have left me. I read an experience on "Freeminds" of a man who lost his family because he didn't discern when to back off. I never forgot that and I applied it. It worked for me and I see it working for others.

I hope the best for you and I'm sorry if I hurt you in what I said, but I didn't mean to.

Gumby

bikerchic

Welcome to JWD rassillon!

Anyway my mind raced for several hours since I know the inevitable I did not get to sleep till 2am, eventually I will have to tell her when I have all of my proof documented. Based on last night I am not hopefull. I even wept, and if you knew me, crap just don't effect me like that. But my wife is a different story.

I have a feeling you will do just fine, seems you have your priorities right. I wish you luck!

Balsam

As ex-witnesses sometimes we want our family out that we try to force our opinion on them. Just they do when they become JW's and pressure people to accept their belief's. I think we have to live and let live. If our family members want to continue in the JW's they have that right, without our interference. We can gently tell them what we feel now in a kind manner and then let it go. I don't believe in forcing the matter ever with anyone not willing to consider that their may be other paths.

Balsam

ringo5

Gumby, maybe you can let sleeping dogs lie for the rest of your life and that works for you, but not all of us want to live our lives never being honest with our mates. It can still be done with compassion and understanding but it's such a huge part of a person's outlook on life to leave undiscussed with your lifemate.

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
Henry David Thoreau

Quotes

(at the risk that my sarcastic humour will not go appreciated)

Hey, Ras, I didn't know you were married to my ex-wife!!! ;)

rassillon

Quotes : I appreciate sarcasm, It is basically how I am able to get through the day.

If I am married to your ex, you got any tips? ;)

Gumby, I understand your point. I will be cautious, but as Quotes can testify she is a power keg and I don't know if it is possible to reconcile both her nature and my desire for truth, no matter how well I handle the matter, I definitly want to keep my marriage intact, only time will tell....I am sure I could go much much further into detail, I just don't feel like it right now.

ringo5, yes it is possible that I could be much more alone and married than I would be single. Not that I want to be single.

And to whoever asked, i can't remember, Yes Dr. Who - I love it - Tom Baker was my fav, although the new Doctor is quite good.

Thegoodgirl

Rasillion, Excellent guts you have, for even trying to help your wife out of that cult. I've never even tried it with my Mom or sister, but then again, I don't live with them.

TD: those are awesome points! I never saw those before, and they DEFINATELY would have got me thinking, especially after I already started having doubts.

Ringo5: that is an awesome quote.

One more thing: I remember the first comment (actually by one of my middle school teachers about Greek mythology) that got me thinking and doubting. But it was about 2 years after that before I would let myself really think through the doubts, and 4 years after THAT that I decided it was not "the truth".

drew sagan

I would take things slower if I was you. My wife tensed up when these conversations began, but now she is much more open. Just let her speak her mind. It is so important that you talk about IMPORTANT spiritual information at other times, even when it has nothing to do with the WTS. If the only time you talk about 'spiritual" things is to try and pursuade her to leave, your not going to get far.

KW13

Its about motive, what you say and HOW you say it.

Your wife clearly thinks your attacking her and her faith (this isn't true i know)

With my mum i saw if i listened, chose the right moments and firstly introduced the conversation correctly it worked. Firing it out sometimes doesn't help.

Take it steady and even though its not easy, when its clear you gotta back-off. Do it.

helppls

Hi everyone..I don't post often...I'm relatively a "newbie"...but I read posts whenever I could.

Rasillon-your post touched me more because I am exactly in the same position...have been for many years (I've been inactive for over ten years). And I've experienced it myself--whenever my husband feels (rightly or not) that his JW beliefs are threatened/under attack, his personality changes right before my very eyes. My loving, laid-back, happy-go-lucky husband turns into a roaring lion ready to blow me to kingdom come...or he just shuts down and ignores me. He is also a great believer in man's "headship"...wives are just "helper", yadda-yadda-yadda! Which means, anything I say especially about "spritual" things don't really hold water as far as he's concerned. And since he knows that I've been visiting this board a lot lately, he says I've been getting apostate info, and he treats anything I have to say with more disdain . I know how you feel...it is really frustrating. I HATE WTS!!! They are liars and hypocrites! They require their followers to talk to disinterested strangers about "the bible", and yet, discourage these same followers from discussing exactly the same issues to loved ones who are "really interested" in analyzing (with the view of understanding) the substance/merits of their teachings. They say they give their followers the choice to make their own decisions, and yet they punish them when they decide contrary to the standard WT line.

Sorry..I can keep on going.....I just want to tell you, as you must know already---that you're not alone.

Well, my wife flipped out.

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