by mavie 71 Replies latest jw friends
Hi Mavie and hugs to you and especially your wife.
It's very sad that the elders are not dealing compassionately with you and your wife. I didn't see love in the three congs I attended either over the last 20 years. I became suicidal over the lack of love and the deep feelings of inadequacy caused by the WTS to 'do more'. I get my observations validated here and know that I'm not alone.
Maybe that's what you're hoping for?
ya know mavie, many here have had the same "diagnosis" when they relieved themselves of the enormous burden of "duties" the society puts on people.
your wife may be on to something here! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)
Welcome, mavie. I hope you find what you are looking for here. JWD can be a great place.
Interesting about your wife feeling better after leaving the pioneer ranks. I know I've been much, much less depressed since walking away from the JW lifestyle.
freedomlover, I don't know what she thinks. It is a delicate game, isn't it?
What I do know is that she recently got her belly button pierced after we were walking together in a mall and she mentioned how she always wanted one. Now that she is no longer an example as a pioneer, she went for it.
Then last night, I mentioned how that tattoo she has always wanted would look great. No, I'm not telling you where! At first, she didn't know what to make of what I just said. Then she began to warm up to the idea and now wants to get one!
I also know that it will take years if she ever decides to leave the religion we both grew up in. I don't know if I want to either.
Dear Mavie,
Welcome!! We are glad you found this site and felt you could post. Not all of us agree on things, and some here are more bitter than others, or have a different way of dealing with their personal experiences. This forum is a great place to get information and it is a great place to get support no matter what it is you are going through. It sounds like you DO need some support right about now! Depression is a very hard illness to deal with, for both the person going through it as well as the family. Our hearts and prayers go out for you and your wife. Jehovah would expect you to take care of her, BEFORE you are to take care of your congregational responsibilites. My husband was a MS for many years as well. And I know that if my huband was in your situation, he would be doing the very thing you are doing for your wife, regardless of what the Elders want. You are a GOOD husband!! Hang in there. Regarding the posts on this site, well, yes there are some posts that are disrespectful. But the majority of ones you will find here, have done research, and have found that things AREN'T what the seem. And many are angry because they feel they have been lied to. Some have even lossed loved ones unneccesarily. I have for example. I hope you will take the time to do a little research for yourself, if you have not already. You will be amazed when you do. I started with 607, and many others have here as well. Once you do, you will see, things do not add up. Anyway, regardless of what you decide to do, research or not, we are glad you are here, and wish both you and your wife happiness and peace.
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
WOW Mavie! that's a cool lady you got there! I got my belly button pierced recently and my first tattoo. I love them both. I've always wanted them, and I always thought it was pointless that I couldn't decide on something so simple.
Perhaps you need to approach this search together. I think given your wife's history with depression she may feel alienated from you if you start making decisions without her on things as big as the religious beliefs you've both always had. If I may be bold enough to say, I think it took a lot of courage for you to post here. I also hope you give your doubts or questions the time and research they deserve. don't be afraid to question things. Just do your homework.
best of luck in your searching and your journey.
Firstly, Welcome Mavie!You said:
I also know that it will take years if she ever decides to leave the religion we both grew up in. I don't know if I want to either
It took me over 7 years to leave. It was a long and emotional journey but I can honestly say that I am much happier now and a better person. Like you, I do not agree with some of the things that posters say or do, but there is also alot of support and good information on this site. I hope you stick around.
Liquidsky
I don't put faith in 99.9% of the 'truth about the truuf' posted here. Most of it is infantile garbage. Most of the ad hominem attacks on this board are childish and plain stupid.
So, as others have asked, why are you here? I don't think you are presently seeking truth, because if you were, the 99.9% figure would be considerably lower. Additionally, the statements you've made are not ones an open-minded JW would make. But then again, how many JW's are open-minded?
Hi Mavie, I'm sorry to hear that your wife is ill. Have you ever thought that the illness is being exacerbated by the religion. Does she have the anxiety attacks when it is nearing time to go to the Kingdom Hall? Do you realize that she may be hurting herself because she doesn't know how to get out?
I don't put faith in 99.9% of the 'truth about the truuf' posted here. Most of it is infantile garbage. Most of the ad hominem attacks on this board are childish and plain stupid.
Ok, about the infantile garbage, don't you think the Watchtower and Awake look a lot like "Weekly Readers" or elementary school (grades 1-3) comic-horror books? Is Your Religion Killing Your Wife? (that's my caption)
fl, I have never been afraid to question things. Maybe afraid of the consequences of questioning, but not the question itself. I also know that I do not want to do this myself if possible. I've been trying to gauge her reaction to a study of this religion as gently as I can.
We requested a meeting with the elders to discuss her recent depression and my resulting low meeting attendance. This has really hurt her a lot, the upcoming meeting will be interesting.
