It is extremely difficult, and it only gets better with time if you do your research and make an effort to really examine the Jehovah Witness religion.
We've all been in your shoes, were here to help. Talk to us.
Hugs,
Balsam
How did you cope?
by Zico 31 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
Spectrum
I just stopped going to the meetings but I took with me the JW mentality that was instilled in me for the next 20 years. It's only recently that I have really broken free from their ridiculous way of thinking. What a waste of time and life.
-
itsallgoodnow
how could you all deal so easily with the realisation that you were actually no closer to understanding the purpose of life, or the real meanings of the bible, than all the other 'Worldly' ones who you probably once felt pity for?
I was so afraid I would land in another cult I decided I would give myself as much time as I wanted, even the rest of my life, to figure things out. And these questions you have -- you might realize later on these questions aren't really your questions. These are JW questions, right out of JW watchtowers. These questions beg whatever answers the JWs think they can give you -- easy answers that serve to trap you in their cult.
- The need to understand the purpose of life - is that a need or is that something the JWs made you think was a need?
- The need to understand the real meanings of the bible - is that even possible? and again - isn't that just the way a cult approaches this sort of thing?
- The need to know what your future holds - how in the world can anyone know for sure?
My suggestion to you is just start looking for answers to whatever is most important to you, and take your time - you have as much time as you need. The answers you find will lead to more questions and more questions. It could take a long time, or maybe not -- maybe you'll find something that works for you right away.
It is a humbling experience, going from knowing it all and having pity on others to finding out these other people were way ahead of you. But you'll catch up eventually. Just don't expect it to come really easily, and don't get down on yourself or feel panicked that you don't have all the answers yet. In time, you'll become more comfortable with that feeling.
Good luck to you!
-
Fleur
Hi there, welcome to the forum!
Please don't mistake the cavalier way that some speak of leaving and getting a new life and all, or the humor that we try to put on the situation, as an indication that it's easy. It is never, ever easy. For some of us, we barely make it out alive. Some don't, which is so heartbreaking because if they could just get the help and support they need, they could have such happy and fulfilling lives, and bring so much to the world. I have lost friends to suicide who couldn't find the sun after losing their families.
The thing is this, do you deceive yourself and stay in a religion that means death to your individuality, your spirit, your 'soul' for want of a better term, because your family chooses to? Do you give up yourself and any chance at real happiness to please Mom, or Dad, or the Kids?
I couldn't; my desire for my child to not be the fifth generation in our bloodline was too strong. Now they're working on the sixth generation in my family, but they will have to carry on without us. We've found the way out, and it's so worth it. Seek support, keep talking, and above all else, don't ever, ever give up on life.
I'm glad you found your way here.
hugs
essie
-
ballistic
Oh, and when I spent such effort telling you how difficult it was, I forgot to say... it was well worth it.
-
fullofdoubtnow
Hi zico, and welcome to the board.
It may look as if many of us left the jws easily, but that is not so. In my case, having no family in made it easier to walk away physically, but mentally is a different story. I still have guilty feelings about some things I now do that I didn't do as a jw, and I doubt I will totally rid myself of those feelings for some time. Even though I know it's not the truth, and will never go back, it still affects my life, and there seems to nothing I can do at present to stop it. So no, I for one didn't deal so easily with leaving.
-
geevee
What you are saying is all true. It is not easy to walk away. But once you have the right reasons in your head, how can you stay in it? We were appalled at the pedophile issue. I didn't believe that could happen and they could actually still be part of the congregation of "Jehovah". Yet there they are. Some manage to stay in. Victims end up out. The societies policies DO hurt people, and they take no responsibility for it. Wont even change they way they handle it.
If they can be wrong about that, what else can they be wrong about? So we started reading. and reading, all the books we could lay our hands on by all the great apostates.
Once you unravel the BS there is no going back.
So, now you have life to live. Make plans for the future. Secure your retirement, set LONG TERM goals for yourself, and ENJOY every day that you are away from the WT. Trust me life is never better, sure there continue to be hardships with constant reminders of not ever fully being free of it, as in our case every one of our relatives are still in, but if your concentrate on looking forward its such a relief to be out, to develop your own identity, not one of the clone varieties they teach you to be, the way you can look at everything differently, how beautiful every Sunday morning can be sitting outside in the sun eating bacon & eggs for breakfast with your kids. Don,t waste anymore of your life in a fake organisation, for us 40 plus years was way to long.
It is time to stop living a life ruled by guilt and fear. -
EAGLE-1
Ever see a human transform into a werewolf-----thats how I felt---GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
-
Carmel
Hi zico! I left when before my 15th birthday wanting to investigate "truth" for myself. What I found never devistated me like you describe as I was young resiliant and interested in everything in life. It took many years to re-gain my certitude about matters religious so I no longer have the lack of faith, I am confident about the future and inclusive rather than exclusive in my attitude to all of humanity, about 180 degrees from being a JW. It only took me eighteen years.. you'll be there before you know it!
I wish you well
carmel
-
White Waves
I was full of rage. Rage and the entire organization, my parents and myself. Rage because of all of the missed life experiences and opportunities. My first few non-jw friends showed me the way. One of them, an older man, had almost become a jw and his wife was one. He was the greatest help of all. He is still one of my best friends.