Just recieved this email off my mum (page 4)

Es

thanks Balsam, dont worry they wont be hearing bout the birth from hubby or me, more likely from my Grandmother.

es

sass_my_frass

Oh Es; sorry my JWD connection has something funny going on, I have to play a few games to see new messages.

Wow I think that maybe my mum wrote that letter, it has the exact same formality and love vacuum as something that she'd put together. I love what you replied with, I could never have come up with something like that on the spot. They can still do a number on me within seconds.

You're doing the right thing in protecting the bubs from the games they'll play. I hope that you can find a compromise that works for you; maybe one day they'll be up to visiting you all at home, where it's your rules, and you are able to supervise everything they say and do with the kids. But they can't be your kids family without also being your family... and good on you for fighting for your rights!

Satans little helper

Es,

this is one I am struggling with at the moment, we are trying for a baby right now and I am trying to work out whether or not I should tell my father or whether I should just treat him in the same way he has treated me for the last 15 years.

Your reply to your mother was perfect, it was a measured response without becoming abusive or hysterical. Unfortunately I am not sure that it will dent the self righteous persecution complex of a witness who is determined to shun their daughter. Personally I don't get it, I don't understand how a parent could profess to love their child and then treat them in such a mean spirited way and cause so much pain. My father caused hassle when we got married and ended up not coming to our wedding, at that point I swore that he would never see any of his grand children. Right now I am still angry that he did not come to our wedding 3 years ago, but I would like to think that I can rise above it and not act in such a childish and hurtful manner. I know it would probably cause him hurt if he finds out that he has grand children that I have not told him about, but I expect that it would also fuel his persecution complex - underlining how worldly I am and that holding to the society's standards is a sacrifice for god or some such crap. It's a difficult one to call, do I rise above it and let him know when we have a baby or do I act as spiteful as he has and leave him in the dark, I'm not sure which way I will go.

The decision is all yours as to whether you tell your parents or not, I think that the best we can do is endevour to be more caring and living parents than ours were to us and guarantee that our kids do not grow up with the psychological scars that we have had inflicted on us.

Steve

Es

Thanks Sass and SLH, I dont feel guilt or anything just happy that i have made that stand, Im sure before too long I will be hearing from the elders as im sure my folks will say im an apostate hehehe. In fact im surprised im not D\F if they know i celebrate bdays, christmas etc.

I knew my folks would have been told i was pregnant, i just wanted to tell them, prob to let them know off another grandchild they will miss out on, harsh i know. I almost wrote after that sentance not that you will ever get to see it, but thought better of it.

As for weddings SLH my folks didnt come to my second one, and even threatened not coming to my first when i married a JW, my dad wasnt going to walk me down the ailse and they didnt tell me until a few hours before that they would come to the reception......I hated them for there behaviour on that day, and was so glad they didnt come to my second so that i could really enjoy myself and have a great day

Good luck with the bubs

es

Ingenuous

...they sent my son a package with a card, written in kids writing so i guess they were hoping Blake could read it. The letter made it out to be all my fault, and that i was keeping him away from them where in actual fact they stopped talking to both of us 8 months ago.

Es, my jaw just about hit the floor when I read that. Your response is even more admirable considering their horrifying behavior. It's terrifying that they don't even realize what they've become.

My parents have the same attitude as yours - blaming me for their unloving behavior. They refuse to contact me and put up with my calls and visits the way you would tolerate a stranger off the street.

Good on you, Es!

Es

thanks Ingenious... i know its pretty pathetic isnt it. I kept staring at the card at first i thought they had actually gotten a child to write the card, but looking again it was my mums writing only in kind of like block letters so that a child could read it.

I have kept the card, I gave Blake the package but not the card

es

Just recieved this email off my mum

Es

sass_my_frass

Satans little helper

Es

Ingenuous

Es

LittleToe

Es

LittleToe

Es

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