Actually im just having a "discussion" right now--------------------hes so hard done by................we are terrible parents and hes so lovely
Say something horrible.............but true about your kids ..............
by vitty 49 Replies latest jw friends
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Tea4Two
Well, vitty....I didn't like it when my daughter had friends who's parents let them run loose and do whatever they wanted....she thought she should be able do the same....so now she has a smoking habit....cigarettes that is! She is good person though....
I know what you are going through...I had verbal fights with my kids....Teens think they know it all. You can't take that pleasure away from them no matter how hard you try.
Just agree with them....YES, your right and remain silent after that. The pause gives them time to think.
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troubled mind
VITTY , Come over here and pick up your son , he is living in my house impersonating MY son ......Oh wait a minute.....no I'm wrong this one is mine . It 's just by your discription I thought you were talking about the teenager I live with. He can be so nice to everyone else, but at home he can be a real jerk. Thinks he knows everything ! Will he ever get how much we have done for him ? I swear he doesn't appreciate anything .
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LDH
I'm on the other end of the spectrum. The 16 year old girl is amazing, and while I do have to get on her sometimes about her room, she's pretty good with that.
The 4 year old boy is the little pisser. Nah he's just at the stage where he's fascinated with body parts.
I was on the chiropractor's table last week and he came over and grabbed my boobs in lightening speed, yelled "BOOBS!" and then ran before I could get my hand twisted round good........
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bubble
My kids are 16 and 14 at the moment and they are both vile. They are both lazy, couldn't care less about school work, they both smoke and they steal money from me.
They also have some lovely personality traits which I'm hoping will soon supercede the horrid ones.
In the meantime, would anyone like to adopt? LOL -
Gill
I'm considering a 'late termination' for two of mine. The eldest two. The 20 and 21 year olds who should know better by now.
My two teenagers are great, apart from being a bit argumentative at times. But they look at their older siblings and say, 'shoot us if we ever get like them'.
Byt 20 and 21, we are no longer legally responsible for them but they're like mill stones around our necks.
Do you think the anti abortion lobby would make an exception in the case of our eldest two?! We're pretty desperate and they're definitely compromising our mental health....and maybe our physical!
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lowden
I'm not really up for saying anything bad about my kids because they're just kids ( 14, 16, 18), growing up and learning, very often by their mistakes like we parents did as kids. The bad traits they have are very often learned from us parents, so be careful what you say! Most teens are selfish and inward facing. Yes they can be a right royal pain in the arse, but so were most of us. There's a saying over here in Britain (maybe elsewhere too) that 'Mothers Make Male-Chauvanist Pigs'. I happen to think that's true. Molly coddling our kids and constantly running after them clearing up their shit makes them ungrateful sods! It just happens that it's usually mothers that do the running around. Fathers can contribute negativity too though, like being an authoritarian bully. Whatever you say, our children are largely (but not totally) a reflection of us as parents and our methods of parenting. By the way, teenagers in my experience respond to being treated like freinds and adults, rather than children. Just my thoughts.
Peace
Lowden
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Gill
Lowden - I agree with you to a greater extent. However, you cannot account for personality disorders. My daughter is a pain in the arse but other than that she's fine. My son - well, there's something definitely not right there.
I recognise his traits as those of his uncle. His uncle has been seeing a psychiatrist for over ten years for his personality disorder - Narcissistic personality disorder. They are both selfish, live in a fantasy world, manipulative, unhelpful and prone to violence if they don't get exactly what they want, when they want it. Everything, including everything they do is entirely someone elses fault, never theirs. They are perfect.
Therefore, I can tell it's nothing to do with upbringing its a genetic problem and cannot be put right...sad to say.
But for a normal everyday child, I'd say you were more or less correct.
If your child is causing you so much trouble that you're despairing however, there's something wrong with their little grey cells....not necessarily their parents.
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juni
My kids are adults now. Except for one son who is a bachelor, they all have kids of their own. Now they realize what sacrifices we made for them and what hard work it is rearing children.
I'm glad they are grown as there are so many kids now who don't have good direction. And the cost of food is phenomenal!!
Juni
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lowden
Gill
Agreed. Personality Disorders are a definite exception to the rule. That said, i wonder how often that moniker is appied to cases where the parents have just simply lost control and given up on a particularly unruly child. Personality traits are almost definitely partly genetic IMO but i think it's a rarity where the parent has little or no control over how their kids turn out. My middle son was a TOTAL b#stard up until about 3 years old, wouldn't let me hold him properly for almost all of that time, only his mum could. I think he would have been diagnosed with ADHD today, which is another contraversial subject for a future thread maybe.
Peace
Lowden