Twitch:
***I don't try to change them anymore. ... Despite all the f***** up stuff in their lives, they made a life together, better than some and they raised a good son (for the most part, lol).
Maybe one day they will see. Until then, i will love them as best i can and try to honour them as a good son should.***
That's exactly how I try to treat my elderly JW parents. At their age, I think it's kinder to allow them to keep their illusions.
The quickest, best way to have a Witness open their eyes to being a cult
by free2beme 35 Replies latest jw friends
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parakeet
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serendipity
Hi Twitch,
I think you are honoring your parents with your approach. Good job!
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Quandry
Twitch, Yes, I agree--you are a good son. It's also commendable that your parents do not try to shun you for leaving. Seems they are O.K. people, too!!!
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Pistoff
am I the only one who hears storieas like this and wants to go and slap an elder?
24/7 for the last 12 years, is all.
BTW, when I quit attending except for the memorial and occasional bookstudy, NO VISITS. NOt one. Not even a visit when I was regular, and studious and asked for a visit for my depressed, despondent wife. I asked them 3 times, out of the feeling she would benefit by it. (She did get counseling from a professional and is doing very well). No visits for her, even though she is regarded as being a very faithful witness. I still marvel at the fact they would not even CALL her; she is not at all high maintenance.
So, no visits for me, or her.
But then over the years:
I took one of them to a JC for gossiping about upcoming, undisclosed discipline DURING A SHEPHERDING CALL ON MY MOTHER.
I took another of them to a JC for lying to me about what he did in a JC regarding my son.
Took them to task for not organizing or allowing any activities for the young ones in the hall.
Told them they had their opinion and I had mine when they were upset with me for hiring someone who was df'd, and not firing a df'd person. The first one's elder father called me and thanked me for hiring the son; he was and is a good kid and great worker. They told me anyone who would not fire, or refuse to hire a df'd person HAD NO SPIRITUALITY.
I questioned them AT LENGTH for announcing in no uncertain terms that the upcoming large get together at my place was WRONG according to the FDS.
They could not answer to me how it was different from a wedding, or graduation. I asked one of them how he could allow his son to attend a worldly concert the week before, where drugs, alcohol and smoking were present but he could not attend an all witness, no alcohol, chaperoned function that ended at 10:00. He had no answer.
FACE IT: they suck as shepherds, counselors, friends and "shelters from the wind".
They are worse than nothing; if we had nothing, we would not be disappointed when the FAIL SO MISERABLY in every test of their faith and leadership abilities. A modern guru of relationships said that to find out how healthy a culture is, push it. If it is sick or dysfunctional, it will show.
Guess what; I and many here pushed the elders, and they are untrained, power corrupted, short sighted, deluded and vindictive.
AS you can tell, I absolutely detest all elders now. They are the modern Pharisees.
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darth frosty
Aww-righty then...Pistoff you and me, we goin' go get a couple a forties (mainly for me you seem all set.) Wait outside the next KM school or better yet next elder CO meeting, and have ourselves a good ol' fashioned chewing gum and A$$ kicking competion (we both will convienietly forget to bring chewing gum.)
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Pistoff
I am with you on that, Darth.
If only the average dub knew how completely upside down the elder arrangement is: the WT, through JR Brown, has called them unpaid volunteers; the magazines call them shepherds, a hiding place from the wind.
They rule and judge based on directions from Brooklyn, but will be OUT in the cold if they are sued; the WT will say they HAVE NO CONTROL OR INFLUENCE over local bodies.
How screwed up is that? Why would anyone want to be an elder?
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LittleToe
I shouldn't be, but I'm astonished at the level to which they harrassed her.
That poor Satan guy sure gets a lot of balme thrown at him
Yeah, that'll teach him to move to fair Gilead!
How screwed up is that? Why would anyone want to be an elder?
Probably for the same reason that some kids want to get on the TMS or hand out tracts. Are you really so far removed from where you once were to remember why you did similar stuff? If so I applaud you
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unique1
AWESOME!!! Glad you got your sister back!!
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Pistoff
Probably for the same reason that some kids want to get on the TMS or hand out tracts. Are you really so far removed from where you once were to remember why you did similar stuff? If so I applaud you
I guess I must be. I have loathed the elders for a very long time, tho; since I was still "in". EVERY single time I had any dealings with them, even when I was a servant, I was appalled at their lack of fellow feeling.
But then I was in a congregation that was torn apart by bickering by the BOE; the CO sent in his own boys to take over. That left us with 2 corrupt guys from out of town, one chronic liar, one go along, get along and one eager new guy.
I couldn't tolerate any of them. I deleted; my son was df'd later that year and I tried to reinvent my faith at least three times.
Through it all, the elders were never more than a nuisance; no calls for coffee, no nothing. This was when I still treated them deferentially.
After that, I just told them what I thought. And now they leave me alone, thankfully.
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Just as I am
I don't think having someone take a break is at the top of the list for opening their eyes. My brother has been "on a break" for 20 some years and when I tried to talk to him about the truth about the "Truth" I've recently learned he went into total defensive mode and became very angry. I'm still reeling over it and learned a lesson. Now I'm looking for a way to subtly plant seeds of doubt in him. Someday things will make sense for him like they did for me.
Just