A True Scholar In Our Midst, Leolaia

by Skoshi 92 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    For those of you who believe that people don't need to know they are appreciated:

    Young children begin to get a sense of who they are by the comments and behavior of their parents. As they age and they get a wider circle of associates (extended family, friends, teachers, coaches, workmates etc.) their sense of self (self-esteem) will be directly linked to the degree of kindness, appreciation shown to them by others

    As they get older they can then begin to transfer away from what others think of them and lean more to how they themselves can assess their own worth and value.

    Parents who believe that telling their children nothing because they "might get a swelled head" are not doing their children a favor. In the absence of positive feedback from those around them the child will develop a poor sense of self.

    A child whose parents constantly tell the child to "do more," "it's not good enough," "try harder," will develop a terribly negative sense of who they are in the world.

    The WTS does the exact same thing to JWs whom they treat like willful children who will never measure up. No praise is given to individuals. JWs are constantly reminded to do more, preach more, pray more, but never expect a pat on the shoulder because that is pride which is a bad thing. .

    This is a form of abuse - emotional abuse and neglect.

    Every single person on this board contributes something valuable - even the WTS apologists who remind us constantly of what living in an ever shrinking box was like.

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    Excellently stated Lady Lee

  • proplog2
    proplog2

    Lady Lee:

    I raised four kids. All have a sense of who they are and their personal skills. It is cruel to heap compliments on the kid that is gifted in front of those who aren't. I always commended my kids for "effort"- but privately. Adults (especially PHD scholars) ought to have enough satisfaction in what they are doing that they don't need praise lavished on them. My reason for being on this board is that I can get criticism. I can test my ideas. If my arguments aren't sound and I can't defend them I can change them. Criticism helps a person grow. Praise (especially public praise and awards) advances nothing.

    I have yet to see anything but a syrupy gushing as a defense of this kind of thread.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    proplog

    I raised four kids. All have a sense of who they are and their personal skills.

    How would you feel about them if they left the WTS? If they did something and got DFed how would you feel about them. What impact would that label have on their sense of self-worth?

    It is cruel to heap compliments on the kid that is gifted in front of those who aren't. I always commended my kids for "effort"- but privately.

    Sometimes when a person posts appreciation it reminds others how much we all appreiated the person and what they offer. Will some get their nose out of joint? Possibly but does that mean we should never be public with our praise because someone else might get hurt?

    Adults (especially PHD scholars) ought to have enough satisfaction in what they are doing that they don't need praise lavished on them.

    I haven't seen Leolaia post here. One post suggested she was on vacation. But my or others appreciation has nothing whatsoever to do with the reason we post or how she views herslf It has to do with OUR appreciation. Sometimes it is just nice to say "thank you"

    My reason for being on this board is that I can get criticism. I can test my ideas. If my arguments aren't sound and I can't defend them I can change them. Criticism helps a person grow. Praise (especially public praise and awards) advances nothing.

    If you are so sure of your ideas why would you need to "test" them? "Criticism helps a person grow" Believe me, not always. Feedback, praise and an old-fashioned "tahnk you" will go a lot further towards helping a person grow than a long litany of "here's where you are wrong"

    As for the public praise - well it certainly reminded quite a few people here how much they appreciate not only leolaia's contribution but the contribution of many other

    I have yet to see anything but a syrupy gushing as a defense of this kind of thread.

    Yup a lot of people lump on the bandwagon to say thanks. Personally I see nothing wrong with it. I would agree that every person mentioned here has contributed a great deal to this forum

    I do however find it harder to justify the "who is your favorite poster" type of thread. They are too generalized and I think more people get hurt about being missed than this thread that focuses on one aspect of what someone does here.

    But that is just my opinion

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    My sister is a doctor and I have great admiration for her. Is it wrong to say so? Does her accomplishment diminish me? Do I feel less loved by my parents when they acknowledge what SHE has done?

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    jg

    My sister is a doctor and I have great admiration for her. Is it wrong to say so? Does her accomplishment diminish me? Do I feel less loved by my parents when they acknowledge what SHE has done?
    I read this and went away and it just got me thinking some more

    The only time I think this would bother others is if their own sense of self-worth was low. If the parents have done their job correctly all children would be praised equally for their own particular talents and accomplishments. If one child gets all the praise while the others are constantly told "Do more" then I think it would easily result in low-self esteem in the others. And that again is exactly what the WTS does. It takes personal stories and puts them in the mags not so much as see what this one has done but more "What can YOU do more?" They take JWs with an interesting story and put them on the stage to recount what happened or what they have done. They embellish the story to direct it in the direction they want people to go and then ask "What can YOU do more?" These "fine" witnesses are held up as example to others. proplog2 the WTS does this every chance it gets.

  • proplog2
    proplog2

    AlanF.

    The people who have criticized Leoalia on this thread aren't worth shit. and they know it. They have an inferiority complex -- nothing new to longtime posters on this board.

    I think I am the only one who said ANY criticism of Leolia. So you apparently are saying that I'm not worth shit. That is typical of your response. Anyone else would get kicked off this board for that kind of personal insult.

    I am inclined to skip over Leolia's posts because they are overworked, and cluttered with quotes of pedants who are so dry that there isn't enough fluid in MY brain to reconstitute it. That of course is my opinion. Leolia style makes a fitting link in the circle jerk chain of those who impress each other but fail to package their knowledge so the average person can use it. This is, after all, not a world of scholars.

    Proplog2 is one of those Monday morning quarterback critics of everything that accomplished JW-critics do, who does almost nothing at all himself but nevertheless sometimes has very good insights on this board, but for some reason is jealous of anyone other than himself who, in his opinion, rises to a measure of prominence because of demonstrably good posting skills. One wonders what sort of emotional defect is at the base of this poster.

    As a scientist shouldn't you avoid words like "everything" . I'm not even on this board enough to criticize "everything". True, I do "almost nothing at all" but it is what I am able to do.

    I am not jealous of people who participate on this board. I have some of Leolia's stuff in my archives (cross/stake discussion). It is useful because the Watchtower is petty for making an issue of that and they deserve to have their junk kicked around by those that like that sort of thing. I am not free of jealousy and envy. I really envy those who are rich because they inherited it. I envy those who have the financial means and other advantages to rebuild their lives. I envy those who got out of the organization while they were young and had the vigor to pursue their interests.

    As to "emotional defect" - for a scientist you got a problem with lashing out with your own emotional crap. You destroy your objectivity by such wild evaluations.

    And I am sure there are plenty of "scholars" who have a daily struggle with Aspergers and other Autistic problems.

  • proplog2
    proplog2

    AlanF.

    The people who have criticized Leoalia on this thread aren't worth shit. and they know it. They have an inferiority complex -- nothing new to longtime posters on this board.

    I think I am the only one who said ANY criticism of Leolia. So you apparently are saying that I'm not worth shit. That is typical of your response. Anyone else would get kicked off this board for that kind of personal insult.

    I am inclined to skip over Leolia's posts because they are overworked, and cluttered with quotes of pedants who are so dry that there isn't enough fluid in MY brain to reconstitute it. That of course is my opinion. Leolia style makes a fitting link in the circle jerk chain of those who impress each other but fail to package their knowledge so the average person can use it. This is, after all, not a world of scholars.

    Proplog2 is one of those Monday morning quarterback critics of everything that accomplished JW-critics do, who does almost nothing at all himself but nevertheless sometimes has very good insights on this board, but for some reason is jealous of anyone other than himself who, in his opinion, rises to a measure of prominence because of demonstrably good posting skills. One wonders what sort of emotional defect is at the base of this poster.

    As a scientist shouldn't you avoid words like "everything" . I'm not even on this board enough to criticize "everything". True, I do "almost nothing at all" but it is what I am able to do.

    I am not jealous of people who participate on this board. I have some of Leolia's stuff in my archives (cross/stake discussion). It is useful because the Watchtower is petty for making an issue of that and they deserve to have their junk kicked around by those that like that sort of thing. I am not free of jealousy and envy. I really envy those who are rich because they inherited it. I envy those who have the financial means and other advantages to rebuild their lives. I envy those who got out of the organization while they were young and had the vigor to pursue their interests.

    As to "emotional defect" - for a scientist you got a problem with lashing out with your own emotional crap. You destroy your objectivity by such wild evaluations.

    And I am sure there are plenty of "scholars" who have a daily struggle with Aspergers and other Autistic problems.

  • proplog2
    proplog2

    Lady Lee:

    I surrender. Just don't have the time for this. Got to earn some money so I can go to college and get my PHD before I'm 90.

  • lawrence
    lawrence

    proplog2-

    You don't need a PHD, you need to learn respect.

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