My husband is smoking pot (page 4)

Deacon

LOL 6...

My professional experience with both alcohol and marijuana, is that while some beers can be of nutrient value..marijuana is not.

It is the personality of the individual here, whether addictive or a self abuser..people dont drink to excess for nutritional value. Drugs for effect are just extensions of that factor.

Alanon will give some very clear rational direction for your life Jurs, it will enable you to focus on what is important and allow your husband to choose what he wants to do.

I would recommend one book to read as well..

its called sober for good by anne Fletcher ISBN 0-395-91201-6

I wish you well and all the love in the world.

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I have been there too. It seems many of us on this board have been there. I lived with an alcholoic/addict for many years. I honestly believe that while smoking pot can be harmess for some people, it is a case of 'switching seats on the titanic' to alcholoics.

I join Joel in encouraging you to find and al-anon meeting ASAP. Even if the meetings make you uncomfortable, there is much help to be found there. I attend on and off. I think I would attend regularly if it were not for my aversion to 'joining' anything and going to regular 'meetings' of any kind (JW hold-over). But when I need them, they are there, and they have helped me through some of the hardest times of my life. I have learned so much from al-anon, and ALSO the AA book.

Things I have learned:
I didn't Cause the addict to use. It is NOT my fault.
I can't Control the addict. It is no use begging, or manipulating, or punnishing, or threatening. He will quit when he is ready to quit. (and he did, btw.)
I can't cure the addict.
I can only control one thing in my life: Myself. And I need to learn how to do that.
I need to take care of myself, and let the addict take care of himself.
I don't have to worry, and stress over things that I have NO CONTROL over. (ie: the alcholoic)
I can have piece of mind even though a person I love is making bad choices. I can take care of myself and not obsess even when a person in my home is making poor choices.
It's his problem. I need to take care of myself and my kids.
There are choices I can make, and there are things I can control, and those are the things I need to be thinking about. I cannot alow the addicts problems to take over my life.
I can love a person who is an alcholoic.

Anyway, I ramble....but please know you are not alone, and that there is help for you out there. You are not crazy for worrying about 'harmless pot.' If you want to talk, feel free to email me at [email protected].

Thinking of you,
LisaBObeesa

Mommie Dark

"Because marijuana is a lot stronger than it used to be, you're also more likely to abuse it and become dependent on it today than in the past."

Well this statement is a flat out lie. Marijuana is exactly the same plant matter it has always been. The only difference is that smokers became more discriminating and realized that only the flowering tops were worth smoking, and suppliers stopped cutting the whole plant up to sell to buyers who were rejecting the inferior grade product.

This is the thing about anti-drug propaganda that pisses me off the most; talking about addiction to marijuana and LSD, pretending that marihuana is somehow a different drug than it used to be, pretending that pot is somehow a 'gateway' to harder drugs...slipping lies and misinformation into their disinformation packets in order to justify keeping prohibition and its lucrative machinery running.

Addiction is serious business and to natter about marijuana addiction as if it somehow equates to genuine drug addiction is really blind stupidity.

Pot smoking is not the major problem jurs is facing; the serious problem is alcoholism and some major control issues. Concentrating on the pot smoking is like slapping a bandaid on a severed artery. Pointless and irrelevant to the underlying problem.

lisaBObeesa

SixofNine:

I was a serious pot smoker for about two years. A very serious pot smoker. I found it very difficult
to quit. Now you have heard of someone who found it difficult to quit. I will say it was a phycological addiction rather than a
physical one. It was a huge struggle to quit, and it was very hard for me to deal with 'real life' without pot for quite some time. I felt I needed to be stoned to be myself. I need to be stoned to communicate with my husband, I need to be stoned to relax. I needed to be stoned to THINK, believe it or not. Pot solved all my little day to day problems, and without it i was lost. An addict thinks they NEED the drug, and I was an addict.

--LisaBObeesa

SixofNine

Lisa, I understand. I'm the same way with diet Coke. Then again, that probably is chemical. Still, what you describe certainly isn't an argument against pot use. It almost sounds as if it was working in much the same way any medicinal drug works. Don't get me wrong, I understand that it can be abused, and used as a crutch. That does not make it something worthy of outlaw or prohibition.

Pierced Angel

For those that don't think it is that bad, would you consider leaving your newborn baby with a babysitter that you knew might smoke pot right after you leave for work or an appointment? Would you want your child's bus driver to have a joint before taking the kids to school? When you can't trust your own husband to be on top of things for your kids and give you time to work or go to the store without feeling wary, that creates tension and unneccessary worry for the other parent, even if he's a real nice guy.

It's great if it just makes you unambitious and lazy and relaxed, great, good for you. But, when it makes you a paranoid, flippant asshole that others have to live with you can't tell me that it's harmless to a family.

My friend's husband was speeding while they were driving home one night and he had a bag of weed in the car. The cops arrested him in front of his 4 year old daughter. She was very distressed about it. Nice. Too bad he had to be so careless about his "simple little harmless habit".

"When caught between two evils I generally pick the one I've never tried before." Mae West

lisaBObeesa

Sixofnine,

I do not support outlawing pot. I have a hard time believing you feel the same way about diet coke
that I felt about pot.

People can get addicted to diet coke.
People can get addicted to coffee.
People can get addicted to pot.

While I support legal pot, I think it is irresponsible and dangerous and dishonest to use the lie that 'people can't get addicted to pot' as a support for making it legal. That is why I responded to your post, and why I respond to anyone who says or implies pot is not addictive. Not everyone will become addicted to it, but some will, can and have. That is just a fact.
People who support legal pot should use the many other TRUE arguements that support their cause.

My post was not an arguement against pot use or against making it legal. It was an arguement against the lie that people can't become addicted to it.

---LisaBObeesa

Naeblis

Pierced Angel you're making some pretty broad assumptions here. Would I let a child be watched by someone smoking pot in front of her? No. I wouldn't leave a child with someone who was going to have a few beers either. What's your point?

Same applies to your bus driver scenario. Your issues have nothing to do with anything. Taken in moderation and at the APPROPRIATE time and location, I don't see why their should be any objection. Is it harmful to your health? Hmm, probably, but ask those doctors listed on that manifesto posted above what alcohol does to the body.

If it makes you a paranoid flippant asshole then don't do it!! I know the nicest people in the world that become degenerate lunatics when they drink. I still fail to see your point.

As for your friend who got caught with the bag of weed int he car? I suppose it's the marijuanas fault that he's stupid?? :P Ask the cop what would have happened if he had been caught drinking. *sigh*

Pierced Angel

Hmmm, the few times I've smoked pot I was thankfully not driving anywhere, but maybe I had stronger stuff than you've had Naeblis. I certainly wouldn't want to have to take care of a baby or drive with the kids somewhere under that influence. It's not just doing it in front of kids that's bad, it's not being fully aware of things because your minds in a self made fog and not being prepared to handle things clearheaded that would worry me. I'm just trying to show how it used to stress me out and why it isn't fair to the other person to be so irresponsible. Why should the spouse have to be the "designated parent". If one is smoking pot and "chillin" out often, that makes the other one have to shoulder more and will cause resentment.

There is a time and place for relaxing, even with pot, but when it causes friction in the home, it's time to reevaluate and consider what's more important.
I think what scared me at the time was that I really felt I was less important than the drug. Maybe that's how Jurs is feeling? I won't get into details, but it almost caused our breakup. He says he's thankful that he had the heart scare. He's a better person today and has accomplished so much more than he ever could have in the past. I've had too many exciting opportunities come up to ever stay with him if he hadn't changed. I'm so glad he's living life instead of just trying to avoid it.

"When caught between two evils I generally pick the one I've never tried before." Mae West

Tina

Greetings,
'If it's causing problems in home/family....' that is really the basic tenet to NOT use any chemical or substance. It's not about how natural or innocuous it may be for some,but if it causes disruption in your life. A recovering alcoholic has no business using ANY substances given the predisposition to abuse such. Just my 2 cents.Tina

Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny..."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense-you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."

My husband is smoking pot

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